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More than FWB but less than a relationship- how to end it???!


chocolate-cake

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I been seeing/dating one of my friends for the past 4/5 months, we have had sex, i said to him last week its either a relationship or friends as i cant carry on in this halfway house situation and he said he wants to wait a few more months to see if its going to work out between us, i said i cant do that as i have no guarantee we will end up together, we ended up having sex again after i told him this so obviusly my actions do not match up to what i said - it was a big moment of weakness, what is the best next step to take!?? should i just ignore completley or tell him again that i did mean what i said but got caught up in the moment the other day? thanks in advance

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Well I think you know what you want from him and shold just tell him and don't put yourself in any more situations where you may be prey to mements of weakness. You are right to end it as you may want more from him, if he does not he should be man enough to be honest with you and let you go.

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It's like a fling. If you acknowledge it as that, and think of it and treat it as that, you can end this on a good note instead of worrying about anything now or down the road.

 

Next time he wants to meet up, or you do, you could suggest somewhere public - maybe a park or out for coffee somewhere - thank him for the lovely time, blah blah blah, that you enjoyed yourself, and simply re-iterate that it's done now. Maybe you'll want to leave the ball in your court for the next time you meet or leave it for a bumping into each other amongst mutual friends; just tell him what you want and carry it through.

 

I wouldn't worry about the fact that you did sleep with that time; you can consider it a last good bye. The words can still stand if you don't go back on them walking forward.

 

all up to you..good luck.

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At 4/5 months he should know whether he wants to be official..so his waiting for a few more months is just a stalling tactic to keep you around for sex. You are indeed simply an FWB. If you want to get out of that role you need to stop having sex with him. If you want to be his friend then talk to him on the phone, go for dinner with him, a movie but absolutely no physical interactions whatsoever, not even kissing or holding hands...and no private time. Tell him it is strictly friends at this point because you are not interested in being a booty call. If he was really only interested in you for sex then you will find out soon enough if he disappears from your life to find another willing sex buddy.

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If he cannot commit by now, just say no more.

 

I know FWB is NOT a healthy place to be when one wants things to progress while the other is either not wanting a relationship or just plain doesn't know.

 

I know you will probably feel crap for as this is not what you want and may even find it hard to just say no in fear of losing him altogether.

 

But for your own heart and your own sanity do it.

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I agree with CAD, he should know by now and after 4/5 months, if he wants to be official or not......he's keeping you hanging on, to ensure his sex supply doesnt run short and likely until some other woman comes along, who he may be romantically interested in.

 

Sounds like you are way more invested in this than he is. Giving sex to a guy, doesnt ensure the 'happy ever after'. In fact it usually ensues the 'total opposite' and because all he views you as, is the woman who is available for sex whenever he wants it and a woman who gives it up all too easy, is usually not viewed as 'relationship material'.....

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Thanks so much for the replies, i forgot to mention earlier that we work together so i will def see him about 2/3 times a week this basically means i cant do no contact- is the best thing to do just cut out any tme together inside and not talk on the phone late at night? I really enjoy his company and deffo want to be friends but its hard when i feel alot for him, i do want to stand by my words as i know i am worth more than a casual relationship

 

I just feel confused as he has a picture of us together as his phone background, he says romantic things, when i went on vaccation he called me alot and text me, i think he has commitment issues.

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