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Well, I Guess This Is Over...For Now?


Ivory_Tower

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For those who don't know when I was younger this guy was in love with me when we were freshman in college. The first time something happened between us I had just come out of my very first relationship! I sort of panicked with this guy even though I really really liked him. I had lost my virginity to the first guy. He felt led on. Much later I dated my now ex for over a year.

 

Well, last night I asked him why I hadn't heard from him at all. He said, "I don't know. Um, you know what I don't want to be friends with benefits anymore. Lets just be friends." Wow, now I've been bumped down even more. I wasn't looking for anything serious, but he's just been plain contemptuous and rude about this whole thing. So, I texted him back saying that I was somewhat hurt and felt used (we had both been intoxicated on more than one occasion, I know). He responded by saying, "Lol what?! You initiated everything. I did nothing wrong. You know that we can never be more than friends or FWB's after what you did to me freshman year."

 

Here is what I did: I KISSED him. Oh wow. My Goodness.

 

I started crying in my room over this and I don't know why. He then kept texting me asking if I was mad, if I was hurt. Obviously I was. He kept saying that we need to "just be friends" and I said he should start acting like one and contact me once in a while IF he really wanted me to be his friend. Its a two-way street, right? He kept texting me to see if I was upset. I just ignored the texts.

 

Today he was saying, "You'll believe what you want. I don't know why you are so hurt. I don't have romantic feelings for you, just friendship."

 

Awesome.

 

He is one of three people that I have kissed in my entire life. I don't take relationships or people I have feelings for lightly.

 

Maybe he's mad that I will NOT sleep with him. I don't even know at this point.

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Wow. Oh wow.

 

Ivory, this guy just sounds like a jerk. Okay, so he's holding a grudge for something you did (that wasn't even intentional), what...a couple years ago, I'm guessing? (Not sure what year you are now). Whatever, some people hold grudges. But the fact that he's using you in order to practically punish you for it, that's absolutely unreasonable.

 

He knows what he's doing. He's known this whole time for the past couple of weeks that he'd end up hurting your feelings, yet he proceeded with messing around with you anyway. That's really low of him, and now that you've admitted to him you're hurt by it, he's playing the "let's be friends" card. Lame. Friends don't treat their friends that way. So if he wants to be your "friend," he's going about it all wrong.

 

You deserve better than this...and at least you saw his true colors this early on, before you got in way over your head and started to feel really seriously for him. Don't waste any more time on him, though...you could be using that time and energy finding a GOOD guy who's going to treat you so much better!

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So, he did do this intentionally right?! Even though we had been drinking he could have said no, easily. I also have a funny feeling that he could try something again, what do you think?

 

Should I just ignore him completely? I said we could be friends, but I didn't really mean it. This guy hurt me. Getting even is pretty childish. I guess I could just be polite to him because I will be seeing him A LOT because we are at the same school, etc.

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Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised at all if he did it intentionally! For whatever reason...childish is the perfect word, lol.

 

If you really don't want to be his friend, you don't have to be...seriously, friends don't justify hurting each other, that's not right. I think if you're civil and polite toward him, though, it makes you the bigger person because you can be nice even though he's a jerk. Plus, if you act hurt whenever you see him it'll just boost his ego, or make him think he made an accomplishment by "getting even" with you.

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why not just send him a final text saying "I feel that further communication between us will potentially hurt both of us. For that reason I won't be contacting you anymore and ask you not to contact me".

 

And then don't reply any more after that.

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why not just send him a final text saying "I feel that further communication between us will potentially hurt both of us. For that reason I won't be contacting you anymore and ask you not to contact me".

 

And then don't reply any more after that.

 

At the moment I'm pretty angry. I would do that, but he lives in a house with three of my other good friends. I'm trying to keep the drama to a minimum, BUT what he did was completely rude and disrespectful. What do you make of his recent actions? Aside from the fact that he's a jerk...

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1. You shouldn't get involved with your friend's roommates.

 

2. It seems he's been playing an evil little game with you.

 

3. He doesn't care about you- he just wanted revenge.

 

Don't contact him, don't acknowledge anything he throws your way. If you see him around, be polite, but don't go out of your way to talk to him. This guy is poisonous- he makes you feel bad about yourself. TOTALLY not worth it.

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At the moment I'm pretty angry. I would do that, but he lives in a house with three of my other good friends. I'm trying to keep the drama to a minimum, BUT what he did was completely rude and disrespectful. What do you make of his recent actions? Aside from the fact that he's a jerk...

 

He's not a nice person and he wants to hurt you.

 

I really really really hurt my husband the first time he asked me out. I went out with him when I hadnt gotten over my heartbreak - and I broke up with him after 2 weeks. It really really crushed him. He never once tried to hurt me in retaliation. He's never ever shown me anything but friendship, care and love.

 

Being hurt is no reason to treat the person who hurt you like dirt. Not if you still care for them.

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You all were right. Last night I went over to his house (he lives there with several others) and he wouldn't even talk to me. I think he might have acknowledged me once, but that was it. What the heck is this guys problem? I guess he really did want to get back at me.

 

If he wants to be my friend, then the least he could do would be to call or text me a few times a week.

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