Jump to content

he made a comment that bugs me now


morrison9

Recommended Posts

today my boyfriend and I were talking about boobs. I said "well I guess it's a good thing I have them" (I have VERY big boobs.... I am not trying to brag either. I hate them... )

 

I am also very sensitive about my weight and stake comments pretty lightly

 

he says to me... and I was trying to stop him before he said it because I knew it was coming out ...

 

"you could use a cup less"

 

I know it is not that bad of a comment... but I am taking it pretty hard. I've been saying I will diet... and I hate the way I look but now I have that big kick in the booty that I needed to get in gear ... I guess I can thank him in a way

 

 

I wish I didn't take these kind of comments so hard, but I feel like absolute crap now.

 

thanks for listening... needed to vent!

 

p.s. WHAT GUY wants less boobs?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wouldn't take this as him saying something about your weight. I think he was simply stating that your breast were really big (even you suggested that you hate them). Possibly because it could cause problems for you. If you really feel you want to lose weight, then do it for you - not because you feel that someone is telling you otherwise. I used to feel that way myself, but once I started telling myself that I was unhappy and I was going to make a change, I feel a whole lot better. We are never really happy with what we have. What I wouldn't give to have bigger breast, but I realize that a lot of people who do have big breast, don't like it. Like I said, we are never satisfied. Learn to love yourself for you who are, the rest will follow. I know it's hard, I'm still learning as well.

 

"Take care of your body, it's the only place you have to live."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guys have very different preferences when it comes to boobs. I am sorry your man is so insensitive - I think he was very rude. This is kind of a red flag, I think. He can address weight, but he should do it with respect. This doesn't make you feel attractive- I can really understand that (I've been in the same position at the other end of the scale, being a rather thin and flat-chested girl).

 

What is also important (I think) is that you say yourself that you are not comfortable with your weight. Do YOU want to change your lifestyle to lose a bit of weight? If you are motivated to do so, make a plan. For you, not for him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

he knows better than to make comments on my weight. he tells me he loves the way I look but I know that he probably does but I was skinnier when we first started dating. I'm sure he'd love to have old me back.

 

I think he just didn't think before speaking and I can almost 100% guarantee he did not say it because he is concerned for my back and such.

 

and yea... I think that it is because I hate the way I look. I have really low self confidence, and I am always thinking that he must think I am such a cow now.

 

I can't help think that way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

he knows better than to make comments on my weight. he tells me he loves the way I look but I know that he probably does but I was skinnier when we first started dating. I'm sure he'd love to have old me back.

 

I think he just didn't think before speaking and I can almost 100% guarantee he did not say it because he is concerned for my back and such.

 

and yea... I think that it is because I hate the way I look. I have really low self confidence, and I am always thinking that he must think I am such a cow now.

 

I can't help think that way.

 

have you looked into doing something about it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

he knows better than to make comments on my weight. he tells me he loves the way I look but I know that he probably does but I was skinnier when we first started dating. I'm sure he'd love to have old me back.

 

I think he just didn't think before speaking and I can almost 100% guarantee he did not say it because he is concerned for my back and such.

 

and yea... I think that it is because I hate the way I look. I have really low self confidence, and I am always thinking that he must think I am such a cow now.

 

I can't help think that way.

 

There's plenty you can do about it. You can remember that he loves you and he's there for you. You can look at yourself in the mirror and love yourself, even if there's things you want to change. And if there are things you want to change, try making one small change a week. After awhile, you'll notice a huge difference in your energy, outlook and appearance.

 

I was once almost 300# and I'm now a much healthier (and muscley-er every day!) guy. I feel wonderful and you can too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

note that the repliers who are male tend to have one view while repliers who are female tend to have another. maaaaybe, just maybe he's jsut being a guy with that comment?

 

 

and honestly, we all have been insensitive at one time or another. i've told my blonde ex that i prefer guys with dark hair. foot in mouth. i was being stupidly honest... and while he wasnt my *ideal* i found him very attractive! don't take everything too seriously/too far.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think he was meaning to comment about your weight at all. I think it just automatically sprang to mind for you, since you are self-conscious, that that is what he was implying.

 

Since you have likely brought up your breast size bothering you in the past, he was probably (I know this is weird) giving you his blessing to be a little smaller. By this I mean, girls have it in their head that guys want big boobs, and he was probably letting you know that you don't need to have big boobs for the sake of keeping his attention if they bother you.

 

I don't really think he was that out of line, but he probably could have phrased it better for your sake. Then again, if my boyfriend were to say that my butt could be a little smaller---which would never happen because threats of me wanting to lose weight there make him freak out---I would probably be feeling the same way.

 

Take it for what it is: motivation. Don't over-analyze it, because I doubt he meant it to be rude.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That was insensitive of him. Whether he meant it like that or not, he probably should have clarified it. How did he expect her to take that? He most likely knows she is sensitive about her weight, so even if he didn't mean to offend her, he should've known that he would by that comment...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

have you looked into doing something about it?

 

my self image issues have been with me since I was a kid (my mom was the same)... I have lots of issues with weight/food.... probably an eating disorder. ... or I am at least on the verge of one.

 

I am trying to change a lot of things... I actually have a whole bundle of problems that need addressed. I wrote somewhere on here the other day, but I 100% think I have borderline personality disorder. and that is a whooooole other story in itself.

 

bottom line, I'm trying to exercise more and cut out the junk. and just change my life in general

Link to comment
Share on other sites

he tells me he loves the way I look but I know that he probably does but I was skinnier when we first started dating. I'm sure he'd love to have old me back.

 

He probably means what he says. He was ok with them smaller. I don't think it is a very big deal but you may be misinterpreting it that way because of your own issues with your body.

 

I gained weight while I was dating a guy through the entire year. He randomly grabbed one of my breasts one day and said, "They are starting to be bigger than a handful. Any bigger and they'll be too big for you." It was really random, but that's just what he meant. He liked them that size or smaller. A kind of similar situation was that my hair got shorter and shorter throughout the year and he would always tell me to grow it out. I never did obviously, but I think he liked my hair how it was when we met. And he liked my body how it was when we met. Though he was totally ok with my bum getting bigger. Seriously, I can't make the butt bigger and the chest smaller...it's one or the other buddy!

 

My mom (and other people probably) always says that women want to change men and men don't want women to change. I think there is some truth to it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...