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volpe

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So went on a date with a guy I met online, and it was all right, though he totally had gay mannerisms (second time this happened on match!) And he made several statements that I didn't like (about his mom, his ex)

 

Anyways, I just tried to enjoy the date/meeting (it was our first time meeting), but I had a strong feeling that perhaps he wasn't the right one for me.

 

At the end of the date I hugged him goodbye and he said, let's do it again, and I said sure (I know, I couldn't possibly disappoint him right there) and he just leaned forward and kissed me before I could pull away! He saw me try to pull away and look surprised, and he said "I just wanted to get that out of the way" and then I left, and I saw him duck in an alleyway and then back out. I think he was so embarrassed he wanted to crawl away and hide.

 

I felt so bad, he is so geeky and nerdy, he has clearly a hard time just connecting, but I'm not going to date someone cause I feel bad for them....

 

Sigh.

 

So when I am meeting these people, and they say that, how do you all respond when you are skeptical?!

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...he is so geeky and nerdy, he has clearly a hard time just connecting, but I'm not going to date someone cause I feel bad for them....

 

Soooooo if you felt this way about him when you saw him on Match, why did you even want to meet him if you don't like these qualities in a guy? Or did these qualities only really show themselves after you met in person?

 

Just have a spine and when he calls (or if you're even braver, you call him) tell him that you didn't really feel much of a connection and end it at that. Who knows, he may not even call you again after what happened.

 

Just don't do the typical thing and let him keep calling you wondering what happened, or if he still has a chance with you. Just be brave and honest with him.

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If you don't like him, it's totally your right to never see him again.

 

But I gotta feel sorry for the guy, though. Assuming he's straight, sounds like he doesn't have a whole lot of experience with girls (probably little to none). What he said after he kissed you and you pulled away is probably a product of that inexperience. He probably thought the date was great, thought you were digging him, etc, so he was surprised when you pulled away and didn't know what to say.

 

Anyway, if you're in the same situation again, maybe it would work to say something along the lines of "Keep in touch!" It won't let him down too much, and it also won't feel like a promise of another date. He'll notice you didn't really answer his question, and so he'll think about why you didn't (he's a nerd - he will). Maybe he realizes you want him to man up a little bit, and change his behavior accordingly.

 

If he does, you could give him another chance. If not, it's totally your right to never see him/talk to him again.

 

P.S. The gay mannerisms thing - I've met gay guys I would have sworn were straight and completely straight guys that acted a bit gay. I haven't met this guy you've been talking about, so I can't tell, but this is something to keep in mind.

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honestly, he kept reminding me of one of my good guy friends who is geeky... and bisexual!! but yeah, he kept doing that little hand thing. and i was like... oh no, i can't handle that. i need me a manly man.

oh and to answer someones question, he seemed really cool by email- rad actually- i was super excited about the date. and he is very handsome to boot. but the gay mannerisms, i just can't get over. in addition, i don't really like to kiss someone on a first date unless there is some kind of really awesome connection- so maybe he felt that really awesome connection, but i didn't.

 

i don't like anyone i go on a date with (sigh). it would be nice to really like someone and have a crush again, but it's not the case.

 

i do have a date with a guy saturday that actually seems pretty likeable and maybe it might work out with, though i have to admit it sucks when a guy doesn't have a car!!! he owns his place, but doesn't have a car. i'm going to have to ask him how he gets to work! (i sound so superficial).

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