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I was doing... ok. Not great, but ok, sometimes not thinking about you so much. I had a date with someone and was even a little excited about it - but I wasn't attracted to him, and I went right back to wondering whether I'll ever be attracted to anyone but you, and why you had to end it when we could have been good together. And then last night I dreamt that you drunkenly texted me a novel-length apology for getting scared and screwing up something good, and that you wished that you hadn't. I don't think you ever said the words let's get back together, but it was implied, and I was thinking of how to respond... and then I woke up. And for a horrible long 5 seconds I didn't realize that it wasn't real. I've cried today more than I have in several weeks. I hate all of this.

 

Also, I'm genuinely worried if you're ok. You won't actually tell me what you're depressed about, though you've dropped some hints. It doesn't seem you were ever upset about ending things with me, but maybe you just refuse to tell me. Maybe you don't even know. Please go back to therapy, there are a lot of things you need to sort out and you can't do it on your own. I hope that someday, when I can stand to be friends with you again, I can lead by example in this area.

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Jeanne I'm so sorry I ended our relationship. Leaving you was a colossal mistake and every day I hurt so bad. At first I'm scared the pain will kill me, and then I almost wish it would, lol. I miss you so bad and I wish you would come back. Thank you for sharing your love with me, you made me a better man. I hope you're doing good and feeling happy and that suddenly leaving you like I did won't make you hesitate or second guess when your next romance begins. You deserve the best, most tender and fulfilling relationship there ever was.

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I thought I would feel differently about you by now. I don't.

I still love you, probably even more than before. I still want you, I still miss you.

I'm glad to see there are still feelings there, but I know you're not ready. You want your freedom.

You can have it.

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I miss you so much. I feel lonely and like my life is completely destroyed. I’m sorry for leaving you...but I had to do it. We had so much love for each other but somehow things got so toxic.

I look for you everywhere I go, hoping I may run into you just so I can catch a glimpse of your smile. My days have no purpose...I smile and put on a strong face but inside I’m empty.

 

I want to be happy again...I want to love again and I wish it could be with you. I wish we could live our happily ever after that we always dreamed of...but it could never be in this lifetime.

 

I loved you wish every inch of my body...and I know that you did too...somehow...it wasn’t enough to keep us whole.

 

I love you

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it is end of a long day. I am thinking of you and wishing I told you how much I loved you. One thing keeping me from picking up the phone is remembering how bad you were in bed. I mean last, zero, nada. How selfish and boring. How utterly broken I must have been. It not for some inexplicable chemistry that red flag and fifteen others I will list sometime, is why I let the relationship go on at all.

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How can you talk to me every day for the past 3 years, now you have dissapeared. How can you throw away everything we shared together, like it never meant anything to you? I miss you so much. I miss hearing your voice. I miss your beautiful accent when you spoke english. I miss you correcting me when I spoke portugues.

 

I woke up every morning beside you for 14 months, now we just ignore each other like we never exhisted:( I miss you amor

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  • 4 weeks later...

I've thought about you everyday since we broke up...I hate that I still think about you. We started off this relationship in the wrong way and we both paid for it but I paid more. I waited for a year and a half for you. I'm also angry at myself. This morning I was thinking about us and I saw so many times where my selfishness and addiction drove my choices. I thought I really wanted that but I waited so long for you only to take you for granted and lose you. There were mistakes on both sides but I'm seeing mine and it's showing me a lot about myself, a lot I don't like. I'm hoping this will be the wake up call to change and do more with my life. I just wish you were still part of my life to do it with.

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(not divorced yet) but thinking that way for 2020...taken some preliminary steps

 

We've been together on and off for 13 years... married almost 3, im so done with you. im sick of being 10th, 100th wheel in your life, when all I wanted was to have a happy, health marriage for our now 6 month old - who i love with my life personally, but you've sidelined me to the point of no return where I'm thought about always last in priority. For our marriage, and more recently for our son's sake you're too worried about your own agenda, and disjointed familial relationship. Unfortunately you've chosen that over having a long, loving life together especially for our son.

 

At this point I've emotionally removed myself from our relationship and plan to take action in the new year . For both myself, and our son's sake I'd rather him grow up in a single parent household than a negative, and `broken` house that you keep trying to create by arguing with me in front of him.

 

I will have no regrets in the new year doing this, so maybe you'll look back at realize just how much you gave up to put everyone before me at all costs despite me providing endless financial, and support throughout this recent pregnancy, and the past 13 years, but now you have a son and ill allow the courts to decide my GUARANTEED TIME with him, not you and your endless agenda and de-prioritization of me and my family over your family, extended family, and friends.

 

you make me sick to my stomach.

 

-lifter

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi, honey. I miss you so much. I can't believe we're not talking. I can't believe our next meet up is at the therapist office.

 

I wish everything was good between us. I wish you just loved me, and we can get married and live happily after. I would do anything for you. I can't believe it's almost over. After a year of worrying about it, being terrified about it, it's almost here. It's a relief and a shock at the same time. I'll always think of you.

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Hi, honey. I miss you so much. I can't believe we're not talking. I can't believe our next meet up is at the therapist office.

 

I wish everything was good between us. I wish you just loved me, and we can get married and live happily after. I would do anything for you. I can't believe it's almost over. After a year of worrying about it, being terrified about it, it's almost here. It's a relief and a shock at the same time. I'll always think of you.

 

I miss you, I miss you. I can't stop thinking of you. I wish to God things worked out between us. I pray that they will. I'm so sad.

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  • 2 weeks later...
I miss you, I miss you. I can't stop thinking of you. I wish to God things worked out between us. I pray that they will. I'm so sad.

 

Honey, I'm missing you so much. I've ben working a lot, including this weekend, and I wish you could be there to support me. I can't believe we haven't talked to each other in such a long time. A piece of my life and my heart is missing.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi, honey. I can't believe it's actually over. After thinking about it and trying all I could to put it off for a year now, it's over, done. I'm hurting so much. I wish I could've just gone along with casual dating and still continued to see you. That would've made the pain less, but only in the short term. I miss you so much. I love you, and a part of me will always will. Good-bye. Not "see you later," but good-bye.

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Hi, honey. Still in shock that we're official over. I'm having second thoughts about it. After all, what's wrong with casual dating? Actually, a lot of things wrong with it, since I want so much more from the relationship and from you, and you didn't treat me well. Still, I'm hurting so much. It hurts me enormously that I probably won't see you again, especially not in a way that I would like. And seeing you only as friends would hurt too much as to be unbearable.

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Hi, honey. With your lawsuit close to being resolved, my excuse for contacting you is almost done. I then really have no reason to contact you anymore. I really can't believe it; it doesn't seem real. I still love you but I have to accept the reality that it's over, and you're gone from my life.

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I really just wish you would have tried to understand me. I wish I hadnt done things and gave you a chance in the beginning. Sometimes I wish I never met you but I did. Im sorry. I just wanted you to love me but we were toxic and I can acknowledge that. I felt disrespected so bad when it came to other women disrespecting me in front of you. I just wanted you to have my back. I hate that you would try to make my feelings invalid when I cared about your feelings so much, too much. I wish I didnt feel like this. I feel like Im always the one getting hurt.

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Definitely almost contacted you today with the bs like my old self would have. but I know you probably wouldnt have replied or been mad. Im sad today and I feel lonely but, I am happy I didn't contact you. Im going to be ok, I just have to wait patiently for the day I dont care about you anymore. I pray for this day to come soon.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Definitely almost contacted you today with the bs like my old self would have. but I know you probably wouldnt have replied or been mad. Im sad today and I feel lonely but, I am happy I didn't contact you. Im going to be ok, I just have to wait patiently for the day I dont care about you anymore. I pray for this day to come soon.

 

 

I am definately making myself busy so I wont think about you. I got a job and I am making money and I feel better. I wish we would have worked out. I wish we still talked but I feel desperte and stupid for even having feelings for you anymore. I am frustrated with myself for my actions and I wish you nothing but the best. I know that we are young and have the world ahead of us. I really cannot wait for the day I get over you. I am sick of thinking of you becaus ei know your not thinin gof me. your past me. i have to accept and let go. I am lettin go of my feelings for you.

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I’m trying to let go, it sucks, it’s hard, but I’ve got to look out for what’s left of my heart. Yes I love you, always will, if fate puts us back together one day well then it does. If it don’t I’m thankful for the time we had together. I may never love again and that’s ok, I can truly say I’ve loved 3 times in my life. I thought the way we got back together last time was fate working but I guess I was wrong. I love you baby

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boo i miss you so so so much. i never realized i was so attached to you. i would have conquered the whole world for you and brought you anything you want. i miss holding your hand, i miss laying on the couch with you, the way we used to put our legs on each others side. instead of talking about your problems with your team lead you should have talked to me. you asked advice about our relationship from someone who is divorced himself? i know he was reading all the best seller books and was using all this information to brain wash you. you should have communicated me what was turning you off, i would have made an effort to correct it all. my parents came to visit me after 5 years, i didn't knew when i will be able to see them again. if i'm caring about my parents so much why wouldn't i have cared for you? you were my world. in all honesty i was doing all the hard work so that both of us can live comfortably, when we have our own kids I can give you all the good things in life and keep you happy. i hope your team lead is keeping you happy and caring for you at least the way i was caring for you. i hope you are happy with your choice.

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Why are you already with someone else... When you said you needed to.figure things out and I was the best thing you ever had.. why the hell do you think it's okay to mess with my feeling? Why the hell do you enjoy treating me like your dishcloth... You couldnt boss anyone around, so instead... I was the one you could boss around. I was a nice guy and now I feel dead and like a .

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  • 2 weeks later...

I always wonder if you're trying to get in contact with me whenever you're around the corners.

 

If you are, then just e-mail me or something.

 

You only have a few months left before my life changes in such permanent ways and I sever what little ties you can even access me with.

 

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

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