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I wish you could remember the happiness that we shared. It hurts me to see you with a guy i thought was a friend. Everyone tells me you don't deserve me, but I just love you. I feel I AM not myself anymore and I don't like who i AM.

I met a girl i believe i can love someday, but she will always be second best. Come back to me.

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Mom doesn't know how to help me anymore so she took me to her fighting class. I cried while we waited the teacher, but while I was there, among kicks and punches I had some fun thinking about your 'new' bf. I feel like joining a gym and then meeting him after college for a quick "talk"

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Sunday night brought illumination.

It made me realise I couldn't keep holding on. I just can't do that anymore.

It hurt so much, I could feel my heart imploding.

 

Today, I will be gathering everything that you gave me and packing it up.

I won't be seeing or speaking to you ever again.

 

Our relationship was really special to me. Even though I was holding onto my feelings for you and the hope of what we could've been, I realise now that they're just empty hopes so I'm letting those thoughts go.

 

Goodbye B.

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I go between being so sad to mad and round again. You are carrying my baby girl inside you. You dumped me for reasons I still dont understand and not being with you and feeling the baby move inside you or me just taking care of you guys is killing me.

 

I wanted our families to be our family. We were so happy until you found out we were pregnant.

 

I miss our kisses....your hand in mine....you just being near me. I havent been right since youve been gone. You still have my heart.....

 

God please help me

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I can finally envision a life without you. What you did to me was emotionally abusive, and I will never tolerate that again. You said you will always love me, then please do me a favor: stay away from IMPA and my friends there. It's all I have left to rebuild my life from.

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NC Day 1-I can't fault you for still hoping to have a family one day. I just wish you would have

figured this out before we were both in so deep. This sucks. Especially because we were so compatible

on so many levels. For 7 months you were my constant, my rock, my best friend, my smile and now you are gone.

You don't know what you want. You need time. But time won't change the fact that you have a desire to

have children and I can't have anymore. I'm feeling so lost right now. You asked if you could still

text me good morning and have a good day. I said no because that would make it harder on both of us.

You can't really figure things out if we still communicate daily. I said NC. Oh how I would love that good morning

text from you right now but NC is whats best. So for now I will just talk to you here instead. Good Morning my love.

I miss you so much already. And I wish today did not bring so much sadness for us both. I hope you are OK and

that you find the answers you are seeking even if they don't include me. I want you to be happy. You deserve it.

We both do. I just wish we could of made it work and been happy together.Damn this is SO hard!

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I hate so much that I still miss you! I would pay so much money to scrub you out of my thoughts for good. I can't believe you betrayed me. You were still in love with your ex the whole time? You coward. All those times you told me you were a good man I realize you were just trying to convince yourself. You're bot a good man, and I wish I told you that that night. I hope the guilt of what you've done is eating you alive. I hope you feel the pain I'm feeling only a thousand times worse and I wish you would drown yourself in your booze that you love so much. I don't wish you the best, I hope you're suffering. And I want my freakin stuff back already! Stop dragging your feet, I want to close this book already you monster.

 

PS You're seriously still in love with your ex?? The one who used you and dumped you twice? The one when you told her you never felt so alone dumped you in response? There were so many nights where I drove out to your place late at night just to comfort you. I made sure that you never felt alone, and shes who you want to give your love to? You are messed up, take the hint, she doesnt want you, she wants a punching bag. On 2nd thought, dont take the hint. Let her hurt you and use you again and realize how good you had it with me because you will never get me back, ever.

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I think I just realizad what you saw in me 3 years ago, and that's really stupid. When you falled in love with me, I had just taken a bunch of minors to the beach at 3 a.m.. I had just tricked myself to believed I was in love with a guy I barely new (and I am LESBIAN), got heartbroken over him, and then toke you to have a sexual orgy with 2 other guys, which luckly didn't actually happen. I had made a very offensive post on facebook about the comitee of an important event just because I couldn't choose the hotel I'd been in.

When we started to date, I went to a unkown city and hid under your bed from your mom. I then let you come to my home, miles away, without your mom's permission.

Really, L., the M. you fell for was stupid.

And now that I ve grown up, you fell for a childsh man, can't you see? He takes money from his dad even if he is 25. He took us out of the blue to an event far away, made you miss an appointement with your family and almost got us killed because we were in a weird street, under heavy rain, without any bus to go home. Later, he took me to a bike ride in a dangerous avenue with crazy cars. A few days ago, you missed your granpa's funeral because you were with him in a random place.

Thank the godness i'm not like that anymore. I have a job, I study hard, I am responsible. And that's not attractive to you. Someone told me you look for people that are failures, like your dad. Maybe they're right. I look for a mature woman. I might have found her a few days ago. Then again, she might not be the one. Anyway, I will find the right woman for me while you have fun with your boy.

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I gathered all the cards you wrote to me (all 8 of them), and the handmade gifts. Packed it away in one of my bags in my closet. Took off the beautiful gold bracelet you gave me for Christmas (think currently wearing it isn't the best idea).

Cried of course when I looked at some of my past emails to you.

I'll really miss you B. Even though we weren't meant to last longer term, I still hope that you'll keep me in your heart and remember us well in years to come.

You were the love of my life. But it's okay.

Life goes on.

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I want to write a letter to you outlining all that I see that went wrong in the relationship and how I think we can work on those problems (individually and together) to become better and stronger as a couple. But I won't, because I don't think you would understand. I don't think you understand your part in failure of our relationship. I hope one day you do, maybe then, after both of us have healed, moved on, and worked on our insecurities - perhaps after that we can start over. But not before. As much as I want you back and as much as I want you to come running back saying that it was a mistake, it wouldn't work if we don't change and grow individually. I hate that, but it is what is. So here I am, avoiding contacting you by posting on a board with other people who know exactly how I feel. I hope you are well and that one day this won't be so hard.

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After 5 months of giving me hell making my life a nightmare you text me that you miss me and that you are finding the whole thing really difficult.

 

Call back the guy you slept with a month after you dumped me

Go try and wear the lingerie you accepted has a gift from I don't know who that you left in plain sight for me to find

Do anything you effing want but please lose my number...

 

You left me at the worst time... With a 14 month girl that I now have to raise on my own half of the time in order for you to have the best of both world

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Im not feeling okay right now. Im on my third cigarrete. I know you hate thoses, but they help the time pass.

I miss you so so much. Everyone says you do not miss me. I hope this is not true. The only way im over you is the fact that you live in the apartment bellow mine. Bellow ours, from where I kicked you out.

I know we need to break, because only that made me realize how much I love you, but I wish we never did. I wish we never met B. I wish I could punch something right now. I feel despair and you re the only onde that can take that away, but you won't. Please, make this end. I can't go on without you, little panda.

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Remember how B used to walk us untill the bus stop? How he seemed concerned about our safety? I thought he was a friend. But, as it turned out, he just wanted to f*** you.

I will never rely on a man to protect me or my GF(not u, by the way) again.

Today, I beated up a guy who called me a mysoginist name on the street. I walk with a pepper spray. I will protect myself. Truth be told I wish I could protect you as well. Since I can't, I hope u learn to protect yourself, since a guy who pretends to be a friend of a lesbian couple just to get in to the panties of one of them can offer no safety at all.

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Lately I have been realizing I have anger still. I want to insult you, tear down your sense of yourself, lay plain your lack of integrity, decry the gap between the values you claim and the values your behavior reflects. I want to tell you she is clinging and you are feeling secure, and that once you feel secure, you will act out, resent, and destroy... Again. I want to remember the gap.between the images and the truth. That the pics of your coupledom don't reflect the phone calls you were making to me, the plays for sex, the lies you told. I went to destroy your facade, throw a brick in it. You don't deserve to be perceived the way you are, with nobody knowing the truth. I want to disown the people we share, lest instead I expose you to them. I remind myself you have already made the life you deserve, that the universe sets things right in its own way, that I love who I am and that has nothing to do.with who.you are.

 

You don't deserve me and you never did. It disgusts me that I gave myself to you. I had indifference, but anget again. You didn't deserve me. I didn't know. At first, I rhought I caught someone I never could have caught before. Now I know you are as much of a cad as the other men I've met in your profession.

 

Facade facade facade. And people buy off on it. How would they know, since you don't hit on your friends.

 

It's just, gross.

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