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Post here instead of contacting your ex!


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I really tried.   I told you from the get go that I was in the midst of an awakening from monogamy to polyamory which, you were very clear you didnt want.   I told you I wanted to work it out with

I feel so sad having had to leave what was our apartment because of you, for the second time. I feel sad we never invested in buying a few stuff for any apartment we've owned, because you always

I lost so much respect for you today with that email. I have NEVER said I would be anything but who I always was to you. Never once did I waver or give you a sign that it was ok to contact me without trying to actually work on something real with me. Yet you persisted knowing full well that I had feelings for you. You are the most incredibly heartless woman I have ever met and I swear it on everything that I love in this world you will NEVER be near me again. I will NEVER willingly connect with you I will never allow you anywhere near my life for the rest of my life. You have the blood of a reptile underneath your skin. I f'ing hate you with every cell in my body right now. I haven't felt this much disdain for someone in a long long time. I hope this comes back to you ten thousand times. Karma will come for you, I am positive. And this better be it this time. I better not get a text from you months down the road again. I never ever want to hear from you again. And that feeling will never ever go away that I can promise you.

Edited by chamachama
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last night i found one of your sweaters in my dresser and it didn't phase me at all. For the first time in 2 months i had complete control of my day from start to finish!!!

I still love you deeply, but i'm through beating myself up for the ugly image you painted of me. We both had responsibility in what happened. My biggest regret was holding your hand through this break up but you live and learn. I seriously hope you aren't running away from your emotions like you always have, learn from this even if it takes you to some ugly places because you have a lot to work on yourself.

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What I don't understand is why in your texts you seem to pine after me. I almost said, Yes but you landed well, yes? And then I thought no, let me let that be.

 

There is now a stronger trust than there was before, it's true. My path leads elsewhere though. Our values are different. We were not right for marrying one another. And you married. Why pine? I just don't understand.

 

It's sad, to me, but to you it seems like it makes you happy.

 

I don't have to understand.

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If you ever come near me again, I swear every pic and email you ever sent me will go viral. Your family and children will know how you continued to harass me and send me those pics and messages even when I flat out asked you not to countless times. And btw, all of the people who you know who are my friends, they all know and have seen EVERYTHING. Half of them want me to go to the cops with the emails. My female friends want to punch your lights out if you ever show up at "the place" again. Good luck with that you piece of garbage.

 

Oh and if you think you can intimidate me with your brother and his friends all you will be doing is sending them to the hospital. I will demolish anyone who steps up and you know it. So please do your brother and friends a huge favor and save them the pain and med bills. And if you show up with a dude to try and smooth things with me, he will end up in the hospital as well for no other reason than to make your life harder than it is. Just like you made mine for over a year. Stay away and be pro-active about avoiding me. It is without a doubt in your best interest to do so.

 

I woke up this morning and seriously realized that I honestly wouldn't care if you woke up in a ditch with grown men jumping up and down on your face. That image made me smile. That is how angry I am at you. I have NEVER been this mad at anyone in my entire life. What have you done....

Edited by chamachama
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Continued....

 

You will be ignored completely and I will never bring you up again for the rest of my life. I am making a promise to myself, today, on the day my dad passed away, that you will never rent space in my mind again after today. Ignored, forgotten, deleted, erased, and indifferent toward you from this day on. The above was my temporary anger. I will not be angry for long. I will be indifferent and not care at all about you even a little bit. I will just never ever speak to you again and know that if you're around me, I will pay you zero mind. You're like an insect. Goodbye.

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This was the weekend that we went to Bruges last year. I still remember it so well. It is making me very sad to not have you by my side this time when all the Christmas lights and decorations are there all around me, knowing that you hate me. I just hope that you're happy and that your Christmas wishes come true.

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I refuse to cater to your bullsh**t anymore. You f*k ing cheated on me and the kids know it. Just listening to your bullsht tonight made me realize there's no going back. I have a great relationship with our children and to them you will always be a cheating wwhhore . Believe me when I say they know you are a skank. That's why they choose to spend holidays with me. So f*cck off you wwhhhore , go be a Hawaiian or whatever the f*kk you're supposed to be. It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed to even say your are the mother of my daughter and she's embarrassed too. That's why she doesn't want you friending her friends on Facebook. Have a great life. When your piece of sh*t boyfriend dumps your stupid blind ass maybe then you'll realize what a f**ing retard you really are. But I doubt it. Good luck getting a job, I suggest porn because that's probably all you're going to get, a 50 year old porn star. Now f*** off and leave me to deal with MY KIDS. You know, the ones who ridicule you and laugh behind your stupid back.

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Well bubba it has been over 6 months since I have seen your face, heard your laugh, looked in to your eyes and had you sleeping next to me at night. I miss you so much I can not even put it in to words. I sit here now with tears streaming down my face and I know you would be somewhere smiling, moving on with your life and it hurts my heart so much. I feel a tightness in my chest, I feel physically sick, I miss you so much. I just do not know how to let you go. I thought we had something so special. I know that no-one will ever love you as much as I do. I would have done anything for you and I probably still would.

 

It hurts that I am just a chapter in your life now, when to me you were the whole story. You will never be the father of my children, we will never go on that honeymoon we talked about, or go to Vietnam like we said. You will never be waiting for me at the end of the aisle, we will never dance to our song together. This house is filled with memories of you. I can still feel you hear. What a sad and lonely life I lead without you. I go out and see friends and do things but something is always missing and when I am alone I feel like half of me is missing, because it is. You took your heart with me when you left that day, when you told me it was over. You took my dreams with you that day. You have truly broken me and I am scared I will never again be whole.

 

You get to move on and be happy and I am left with all the pain. Sometimes I wish this life would just be over and my mind could rest for awhile. I wish I could be with you. I can not believe you do not love me and that I have to live the rest of my life without you. It is just so unfair. I wish I never met you as this pain is truly unbearable. I love you and I miss you.

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I like this quote.

 

" You will break your own heart a thousand times over in the course of one life. You’re supposed to. Because if you broke your heart, it means you cared enough — you loved enough — to take a risk. And the only real way to tell if something is worth losing your heart over, is to try. Even if it comes back with a few smaller pieces, you’ll have the memories, and the knowledge that you were brave enough in the first place."

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It's been really hard starting nc all over again. I am on day 8 and I'm struggling. I know your not even thinking about me the way that I'm thinking of you...which hurts. I've been spending a lot of time with my girlfriends which is crazy helpful. I'm so glad I have them in my life. They keep me positive.

 

I miss you so much. When will this feeling be over? I can't wait to finally move on.

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I am just getting this out. I am not in NC, and not not in NC. It's just that I am not contacting you. You are married. You write me as if regretting how long it took for us to finally go out, that in that time you began the thing with your now wife and then the thing with me and you chose her, it would seem. Except you seem to desire the most intimate relationship with me, like a star crossed love that never dies and see me once a year for a weekend, or send me fantasies you have, or write me nostalgic moments triggered by an event, or a regret that we didn't start seeing each other sooner.

 

These confuse me. I wanted to feel sad for you, I didn't know what to feel actually. And then it hit me. You are using me to keep yourself from being fully vulnerable to her. I get it, it's scary and also, she's scary. I am, as always, your one unconditional love place. Sweetheart, I can't be your marriage support system. You are with someone, and I am with someone, and it is disrespectful on my end. I won't do it. Plus, I think I am enabling you. It's time, babe. Choose her.

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Found my old youtube account from 4 years ago and saw all my favorited videos from that night 4 years ago when we laid in bed and you showed me your favorite songs. One in particular was amy winehouse ''valerie'' i didnt have the heart to click on it. Next day driving to work it plays on my playlist...and i broke down.

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There are days that I can deal with losing you much better than i am today.... I still can't believe after 4 years and everything I did for you how selfish you actually are. I see it now that I've had the time without contacting you.

To think that I would've done absolutely anything for you. Catching you in all of your lies at the end and the fact that you cheated on me for god knows how long absolutely ruined me. Not that you'll ever know that or give a damn even if you did.. I wish there wAs a fast forward button on myself that I could jump right to the day that I no longer hurt over you... I'm tired now.

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I was in your city this past weekend. Such a beautiful place. Just as I remembered it. There was just one thing missing: you. Everywhere I looked I remembered that I had been there with you at some point. I avoided some areas of town which would have hit home a little too hard. Some feelings resurfaced and I became eager to leave. The drive home was awful. I cried again, just like I did when I would leave you to go home for the work week. I don't think there's one time I have left your city without crying.

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I'm over you. I'm so over you, we need another word for over. You were my best friend and I don't think I'm capable of loving someone the way I loved you again, ever. You say that you don't mean to hurt me, that you're always here for me, that I can call at anytime. And yet..you're with her. Why do I feel this way when I know we're over? We stood in the sun and it was lovely, but our time has passed and I've accepted that. Yet you always draw me back, I feel like you're going to keep drawing me back forever. I wish we were still standing in the sun together.

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what happened. It all came so fast. In a moments time you became someone I have never had ever met. I don't want to feel like the person I loved so much doesn't exist anymore. I had a dream last night that we were getting married. I woke up and was sick to my stomach. I hate that I still find you beautiful as ever. It makes it so much harder thinking that you are the worlds prettiest woman.

 

I think I am supposed to let you go now. But I don't want too. Im holding on too all I have left now. Im scared to go on without you. I invested my everything in you never once thinking you would ever throw me away. I would have taken a bullet for you.

 

Last night I fully striped my room of everything that was related to you. I wonder if your room is different now. Do you ever think of me? Are you even struggling? I have a stomach wrenching feeling that you don't. Please release me from your spell. I do not want it anymore. Im hurting. Please let me out of it.

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It seems like just yesterday we were just cuddling up next to the dogs. It sucks that I won't get to see them, won't get to see you. It's been almost 2 months since we last saw each other, since I last heard your voice. Why did you give up on me? Why wasn't I enough? I hate that I know deep down I'm never going to be able to replace you. It's always the best memories that hurt the most, taking you to my home country, meeting my entire family, and our first of what I thought were going to be many road trips, I can't stop associating you with them. Everywhere I go in this city, I'm reminded of you. I still have a hard time understanding how you can tell me you love me the morning of our breakup, and then want nothing to do with me. I still have so much hope about you coming back, but it isn't healthy. I love you too much that it's just so damn hard to let go.

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