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Just f*** you, you ungrateful piece of ! After all I did for you and you still lied and cheated! You breaking up with me was probably the best thing that happened to me, altough I might not see it yet! And despite the fact that you're acting all fine and cool about this, you will regret losing me big time! You changed so much, how could you do this to me? I did so much for you, I was there for you, I helped you in so many ways, where would you be now if it weren't for me, huh? I am getting more and more sure that this was just a moment of madness, you are confused right now, but when the day comes, and oh it will, that you will realise what you have done to the best thing in your life, you will be sooo sorry! And if, just if that day never comes, it will only be because you are too stupid, because, yes, you are just plain dumb! There, I said it, I didn't before, because you used to compensate in goodness and love so I tried to help you gain confidence. Well, now you just have a little too much of that, don't you?

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2 months later & I miss you & cuddling up with you watching tv, talking about everything & laughing about nothing. I miss playing with you & your silly ass messages. I try to escape the thoughts of you on a daily basis but its getting me nowhere. Every morning I still wait for your GM text. Wonder if you are thinking about me . It's insane that you are not with me. I try to think about things that you did that would make me angry - things that I would get mad at and now they don't seem that important. Not having you here with me is killing me. I wish you could understand how I feel.. . as if someone punched me in my heart & ripped out my soul. I know eventually it will be a memory but the truth is, I want don't want to let go of my love for you.

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Hey

 

Don't know why I'm writing this. I guess a big part of me is still struggling-I still have these feelings for you. I wish I didn't. Wouldn't it be wonderful if I can think of you and feel only good positive emotions. I wish it wasn't so hard.

You know, there hasn't been a day that goes by where I haven't thought back to things. It's on constant playback.

 

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder and also out of sight out of mind, but frankly I don't agree with either. My feelings for you haven't increased; they simply stayed the same. Not that it was a small bit of course. It was enough to know that a tiny part of me died when you left.

 

When I go through everything in my head, and dissect every aspect of what 'was' and no longer is, I feel slightly numb. I'm moving on relatively well, but the task of letting you go from my heart is proving a difficult thing to tackle.

 

I see you in my dreams and it's lovely.

But it's not real.

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I find myself waking up every morning wondering if i'll have a text from you on my phone, and always being slightly heart broken when I dont. Even though on the rare occasions that I have, your texts have been very blunt and unfriendly, and always made me more upset. I think I just wanna know that you still think about me from time to time, that our 3 year relationship meant enough to you that you haven't forgotten about me yet. When I'm busy I'm happy, but it's on these mornings when I have a day off work and just wanna relax that I find myself getting lost in thoughts of you. I wonder if you're seeing someone new.. I sense that you're not lonely because I think if you were you'd have gotten in contact with me, and so I wonder is there someone new in your life already. This is what happens when I'm alone and have nothing to do - I over think everything. It's such a shame because I used to really enjoy the time I got to spend by myself, now it seems like a prison of unwanted thoughts and feelings.

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I am seriously freaking out right now, I just want to go back to being in a safe relationship, I don't know how to be alone. I haven't done anything wrong to you so why don't you love me and care about me anymore? I am panicking and all I want is to go back to how things were before you started pushing me away, I am so sad I feel like I'm drowning or suffocating, basically dying in some twisted painful way. I need you to take care of me and to be there, I miss you calling me and asking how I was I am so lonely and scared and this urge to call and beg won't stop

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the guilt of what happened between us is eating at me everyday. I cant believe things worked out this way between us. 4 years of being lovers and freinds and now mortal enemies. i hope you can forgive me one day, as I tried to forgive you.

 

I know now i walked away from our problems. maybe not man enough to make a clean break, maybe not wanting to realize i stopped loving you a long time ago. you have every right to be angry but do try to realize you hurt me so much and I couldnt let you go. thats why i took you back every time. last time i saw you, i didnt listen to what you were saying I could only think how beautiful you were and how sexy you still were.

 

I know I shattered your heart just like you shattered mine. Hope one day we can forgive each other. until that time I will not need anyone else in my life.

 

i dont think i can ever love anyone as much as I loved you. damn girl, you were so wrong for me in so many ways and so right in so many other ways.

 

you left me twice, left me in the cold an dark. you slapped me and i did not nothing. when i did what i did i just told myself how bad you were to me not realizing that what i was doing was far worse.

 

i know i ed up i know this time its too late and we will never be able to get back together still i keep hoping. Still i catch myself thinking what if ?

 

Maybe the No contact will help me heal. maybe the no contact will make you forget the bad things and remember the good. or maybe im just fooling myself

 

I hated you for leaving me You have hated me for being selfish. We are even now. I hate you I love you. and its killing me

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i just read back all my posts of the last 2/3 years on enotalone about you and me.. wow

 

i was in a world of hurt with you and still i rather was with you than alone. we both never knew when enough was enough. im sorry for all the hurt. im sorry for those years we spent on each other. sometimes i wish i never met you but i had my greatest moments of you with you but also my greatest moments of sorrow and feelings of being alone..

 

a week after our break up and i still cant decide wether its a good thing or a bad thing.

 

i do know that you never deserved me treating you like this on the very end. but hey,,, you treated me like for the last 2 years so i guess i was entitled to some bad behaviour at the end

 

hate you love you.. its complicated

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Don't you realise that i hurt too? Is it always about you... I have apologized, I have made an effort and you pushed and fought me all the way. You never wanted to work with me to make everything right. Yes I messed up. Yes I made mistakes. I am a human being and humans arent perfect. Why can't you see that? But do I really deserve all the words you say? Do I deserve to be condemned by you forever? You have called me horrendous things and you justify this because "I hurt you". So I need to shut up and put up with the hurt you cause me? Even when i was trying and being such a good person you would hurt me and say its okay because the pain I caused you was worse.

 

You are a toxic person. You need help and you know why? Because even though you claim you are perfect and good. You aren't. And neither am I. Until you realise and learn to forgive me we can never be anything more than nothing.

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Typical how we no longer work in the same department and it's finally my chance to move on from after you blanking me from August and then last weeks apology.. You didn't even tell me to stop crying.. But yeah today I phoned through to an internal central team number and you answered, when you recognized me and I didn't it was crazy.. The small talk you made and me not responding to much.. I hope it hurts you thinking that I actually forgot what you sound like considering we spent from 8pm to 6am on the phone when we were close x

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Today. I am hurting after being okay for so long. I wish I could tell you how I feel. So I will just write it here.

 

So today I say goodbye forever to my

First true love. I love you dearly although I knew in my heart we would never see our happy ending, we were much too different from the start. But I loved you and desperately hoped that we would both change for one another. But at the end there was no more effort on either part. I wanted more you gave less. You wanted more I stopped giving.

 

Our simple, hopeful, naked love wasn't enough. My heart cries for you tonight. My soul feels the pain of 7 and some years I gave to you all throughout hoping and praying we would make it. I still love you. I will always love you. It hurts me so bad. Most of all I mourn tonight because my hope is gone. I have no more hope for us. I know it's over. For good.

No amount of alcohol can take away this pain anymore. I cant drink away my sorrow. It's so real, I'm scared. To never have you in my life again. Your gone. Just memories which will fade, As days turn to months turn to years. And fall. And perhaps be forgotten. But I must remember you still have your health. Your life. Your future. That is what is most important after all. Because I truly love you. I want you to be happy. I want you to be successful. I want you to one day find love again. I hope that you will never forget what we had once upon a time the good of it, the memories of joy of laughter of young true love.

 

Sweet farewell my love. You will always own the dearest and deepest part of my heart.

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Everyone in this thread trust me, you are better off not talking to them...

 

Both the girls I dated last year randomly got back in contact with me this week, uncanny timing. One after maybe 4 months and the other after close to 7 months of no contact. Combined 11 months of no contact between two exes broken in the span of 48 hours. Now both are friends with me on FB again and one of them has called me and texted me even though she has a boyfriend now and seemingly wants to be BFF with me.

 

It's a mess, stay no contact, my life is a lot more confusing and worse off now than if I had ignored them and stayed no contact.

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Dear X,

 

I can't even begin to put into words how hurt you have made me feel. You said last time I saw you which was 16 days ago that you were going to hurt me but you loved me. You made love to me and I fell into everything we used to be like it was magical. The next day you kissed another woman and by now have probably slept with numerous women to explore that amazing "curiosity" of yours.

 

How stupid I was to fall for you and your conceited nature. I was vulnerable and you took advantage of me. You never respected my personal space randomly showing up at my house. Damaging property. I want my fcking ring back. You can have your item back i don't want anything of yours. In time my heart will let you go and I will burn everything you ever gave me and send you the ashes. I hate you so much.

 

You played me and strung me along. You said to leave and youll be there. Where are you now? You said you'd always be my friend and you'd always want me in your life. You know why? You wanted ME in your life because you are selfish. You couldn't let me go and now you've jumped into another sexual relationship and you are all ready to toss me aside and send me abusive emails and then cut me off. I wish I didnt love you at all. I want to turn it all into hatred and burn you into the ground. I hope you leave me alone forever. I wish I NEVER met you!!!

Edited by Ani87
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