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Post here instead of contacting your ex!


Nynnja
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Your still playing mind games, trying to string me along....well mister I've got your number. I found out some things about you, you've been unfaithful the majority of our marriage and there are people who are willing to make statements about this, you scumbag...in our driveway while I and our children were sleeping, nice. Pressing yourself up against my girlfriend at her husband's party with me just in the other room...well sometimes the past just comes back to bite you...you filed for divorce , stopped wearing your wedding band months ago which our children Noticed, you tell me no to reconcilation, and now your dragging your feet...... no sir!!!!!! We are done, you have dishonored and disrespected me on every level while my children were watching and I was to blinded by fear and what I thought was love to stand up for myself... No mas!!!!!! No mas!!!!!!!!!

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The one thing that I wish is to go back. In retrospect, I think No Contact was a horrible idea. And I wish I could go back. I was so excited for the date that we were talking again, and we were going to work on us. I poured my heart out and you gave me a vague answer. It was probably your way of saying it was over. And not hurting me, but it still stung a bit. I was hoping the No Contact would make it easier to miss you. It didn't make it easier. I still miss everything. I wish that I would get honesty from you, if you have moved on with someone else, even though initially you said you hadn't. I would think I would deserve that.

I don't think that will happen. It just upsets me that you gave up on us. I guess I still think our story isn't over. You're probably with someone else now. Or maybe not. I don't know. I thought I deserved better than what happened.

I have read and read our past texts, from you saying you loved me, it slowly went from you saying I was distant (which I guess I was getting since we didnt see each other more), to you saying you were feeling lonely, to you always being busy, to you saying you were confused and scared, to having your ex blocked and not talking to him, to having him over on Christmas and it being hard to call for a break since you loved me, Im never going to be sure. I know I keep talking to you. Hoping we're not done, maybe? But I don't know.

Edited by Fame1977!
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There's this guy I'm interested in, who's been very hot and cold with me.

Then there's you whom I think about too much, but I try to distract myself not to think about you.

 

I'm disappointed with him.

I'm depressed about you.

 

I miss you E. I started thinking about the last time I saw you. We cried and hugged each other. I gave you a long kiss and after ages (cos I had to get to work) walked away. I turned around and saw you while you headed onto the Ferry.

 

That made me really upset.

 

Urgh it shouldn't be this hard damn it.

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Seriously, screw you. I literally don't care anymore, I'm doing what's best for me and I'm forgetting about you.

 

You make no sense at all, you say one thing but do the complete opposite. I don't need you in my life.

 

I've tried to be there for you and you're not letting me, you ignore me without telling what I've done and I haven't even done anything.

 

You're a coward.

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I don't know what is happening with us now. I know I said I wanted to keep talking to you, and I do, and you do. But it's just weird. Having you say you missed talking to me last night set me back. You probably don't know what you're doing to me, and I thought it would make me happy, and part of me is. And part of me wants you to go away.

I still love you. In love with you. Maybe it's all new, and I'm sure it'll all fade. I'm not sure if you've moved on. Or what.

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I managed to start and finish "The Fault In Our Stars." The book was absolutely...gut wrenching. Augustus reminds me so much of you... It's unnerving. Minus the cancer of course. He even sounds like he resembles you physically, apart from the hair.

 

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do get a say in who hurts you."

 

I don't regret getting with you despite knowing you had to leave to eventually. I really don't. And even though we are ten thousand miles away from each other, it doesn't matter. I'm glad that I got to fall in love with somebody like you. The next one has really got big shoes to fill.

Edited by Hazyillusions
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Well how this has turned out is beyond belief. The whole experience has changed me for life. I didn't think that you could be any nastier. What occurred in our relationship was a form of emotional abuse, which is a form of domestic violence. The messages and the things you have said since I left are all emotional abuse as well. The issues that lie within you are bigger than any demons I may have. To not be able to be on your own says a lot about your character, you don't even like yourself if you can't be your own. An intelligent person knows that one must deal with past issues before starting over. There is not one thing that I need to feel ashamed about. You drove me away and I know that I tried to talk to you about certain issues and to deal with them, so calling me weak is not an option. I'm brave enough to admit my faults and issues to myself and to forgive myself for these. No one elses opinion matters...not even yours. I often told you what you wanted to hear as I knew it would make for a happier home. When you didn't think twice about throwing my belongings out when we moved into YOUR house, I should have stopped it then, listened to my gut instinct. I convinced myself it would be okay. Not one of the children felt comfortable in your house, they all felt uneasy. I tried to ignore all these signs that things were wrong because I wanted it to be something it wasn't. You have since shown me that your way of thinking evolves around money, how wrong you are. Money will not buy you love nor happiness. Money had nothing to do with my choices. The things you used to say when you were angry or as a snide comment were hurtfulThey continued to hurt. I learnt this is a controlling behaviour and in the end it changed who I am. This is not right and it is not how one should feel when in a relationship. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. Trying my damndest to keep you happy. Doing what you wanted me to do. Being what you wanted me to be. For you to give me a gift then take them back just shows how shallow you really are. It had nothing to do with the jewellery it's just another attempt of yours to hurt me. It didn't work. If the jewellery is that important to you than keep it. I'd rather be happy than have possessions. You made me feel like a trapped animal, I couldn't do anything without your permission or your approval. If I spent money than I had to explain it but you could buy whatever, whenever. You have used buying things as a tool against me. You big noted yourself and took care ofThe purchase of things then accuse me of using you. Now that's low. I offered you money on many occasions, you refused to take it. It made you feel in control and made out to the world what a nice guy you are. Only to throw it in my face later and use against me. I don't care much for how much money you have, that was your priority in life. Being happy and content with what I have is my priority. To have a go at me about not putting my family first and feeling guilty about, well I dread to think how bad you must feel for letting your son down his whole life. You have never been there for him at all. It's no wonder you don't have a productive relationship with him. At least my family will always be there for each other and know we have each others back. Despite the tribulations we have been through my children are great and that is a reflection of me. You cannot take any credit for your child asYou have had nothing to do with his upbringing. Life for you is all about you and how the outside world sees you. Keeping up with your families wealthy status and trying to compete with them. You're obviously carrying some issues in regards to your family and how they have supposedly let you down. How did I get to be in such a horrible place emotionally, that would be because I was fighting it. I knew something was wrong but I tried to ignore the signs, your actions and the impact they had on me was it. Other people could see it but I wanted to make it right, it was never going to be right. So many things that I did and said was because I knew it was what you wanted to hear or needed me to do. To stop you from having a go at me for what I was providing you with. My heart was not in it. To tell me you are going to hang yourself and that it would be my fault is a standard emotional abuse phrase. A controlling behaviour. So many of your behaviors are controlling. I will move on and my life will be better for it. I will be a much stronger and better person because of this. I like myself and I like who I am, that's the big difference between you and me. I don't blame anyone else for where I am today, they are all my choices and I take responsibility for them. I have no intentions on blaming anyone for any reason. Unlike you I do not need another person to make me happy or for me to feel complete. I am just fine within myself. One day that special person will come into my life. I am in no hurry to go out and find them, you cannot make it happen. One must be happy and true with themselves before trying to have a successful relationship. I allowed your behaviours to change the person I was, I didn't stay true to my values. That was my mistake.Allowing myself the time to heal and come to terms with it all is the only way. I did care for you and the person you made out you were, in the end the behaviours pushed me away. There is no way to express how your insecurities were projected onto me and how they diminished my feelings. Just accepting it and forgiving you for these is for the best. I hope that one day you will find true happiness and I wish you all the best for all your future relationships.

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She said you couldn't make her happy the first time around. What makes you think a year later and new living situation, things will change. You said she's got lots of family issues especially with her mother who seems to always let her down. You really want to deal with that? Was I too positive and supportive? And trusting? Please open your eyes and see what you've jumped from and to. You have a very good chance of losing it all.

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Sometimes I wonder if it was good for me to know all the cheating you did, I feel that knowing all that stuff prevents me from healing faster. Maybe I should had been kept with ignorance. But then maybe not, because otherwise I would have gone crazy just wondering what happened, how it happened. And it would be more difficult for me to lose all hope. Yeah it's bad both ways but I think I did good wanting to know. At least I know the truth, I know there's no hope going back, I know how it feels, I don't have to imagine things, I would end up knowing later and it would have been worse etc.

 

But it sets me back many times. The thought. Many times.

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My dad still loves you lol. Wants us to work it out, damnit there is my dream I had a while back right there ... that I wrote about on here before. I think it bothers me my dad is still a champion for you when you hurt me this last time.. but I guess your sister is on my side so it evens out. Guess we get to disappoint each other and our families all in one. WTG us.

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