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The two weeks of not talking is almost over. I know I broke it once, after ten days, but I hope that doesn't ruin things. You're not officially my ex yet, but it's weird. I've never not talked to someone on purpose before. I know these two weeks have been brutal to me. Mainly because you really are my best friend. I still believe in us, and you haven't told me not to. So I hope this time has helped you in your thoughts. I can't wait to talk to you again. I love you.

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The last time I saw you seems like forever.

 

I remember I had tears streaming down my face asking you how I'm supposed to let you go and your reply was "just let me go."

 

I was that much of a mess that if I got ran over by a car, it wouldn't matter.

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It's midnight and I can't sleep, instead of texting you I'm gonna write something which I can't say to you, for different reasons.

 

First of all, I just want you to know that I miss you. I miss you every second, of every hour, every day. Sometimes it hurts.

 

Secondly, we haven't text in almost a month. The phone works both ways, but I hope everything is okay. I want you to know that I want to text you so much, but I can't. Because I know I'll get attached all over again and I can't let that happen, I can't go through that again. But I really want to talk to you.

 

Third, I really do hope you're happy. I hope he makes you happy and he never makes you cry because I hate it when you cry it makes your eyes go all puffy but you still look beautiful.

 

But most of all, I hope he never breaks your heart. And finally, if you think he's the one, don't ever let him go like you let me go.

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i was ruminating about you so much yesterday. then last night i meditated after being exhausted from work, and i felt great, i felt like i could come scoop you up and take you away. i feel happier, but this is only one day. the last thing i said to you was silly, i DO want to talk to you, i just wasn't emotionally sound last time. i really want to start talking to you again, but that need to talk to you must mean i'm not completely over it. i know you just want to be fwb, and i think i'm about ready for that, but god we already tried it once and i was still emotional and lying to myself. this time i feel like i can do it, but i know you're seeing some other guy from your new work lol. i'm contemplating putting it out there... i should probably wait.

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I miss you and wish I had the courage to be with you, to take a chance like you always wanted me to, to align my actions with my words. I'm not strong enough to be with you, but I'll love you forever.

 

I know with time our memories will fade and the hurt will evaporate. I am scared of you evaporating from my mind, even though it will make me less sad. I just wish things could be different and I miss you every day.

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I can't believe I let myself get that close to you. I knew it was a bad idea. That you would never be mine. COULD NEVER be mine. But I thought we had something. I just needed you to know how I felt. And I wanted to know if you felt the same. I can't believe you didn't even try to give me an answer.

 

So here I am trying to get over someone that wasn't even mine. Someone that I didn't even know. I look at your pictures and I realize that I don't really know who you are. But I'm missing you like crazy.

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I miss you so much. I know I had to let you go to figure out these residual feelings for your ex. I know it would have been harder for you to do it with me and. I k now you have history with her, but it sounds like she has issues and a deeper reason for letting you go the first time. I hope you realize what we have is real and i'm not letting it go yet. I hope that you realize what you might have with her is just the idea of her. For someone to break up a wonderful relationship because SHES not on one, says a lot about a person.

 

Our last goodbye was painful and I didn't want you to walk out the door. And i dont think you did either. However, wanting to makeout/have sex would have left no one the wiser and I stand by that rejection in the hopes that you figure your stuff out and come back and we can live out the fantasy I suggested.

 

I love you.

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Just had a mild painful experience in texting with another woman. She is very two-faced, seemed like a charming girl but I got warned that she can be y and that is indeed what she was tonight. This makes me miss you even more. You were always so sweet with me. The last months of our relationship you withdrew a little and I pushed you even further. I still love you and I miss you.

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I'm in so much pain, I hope you feel this one day. You get a hard on doing this to women? What is wrong with you? Just because you don't love yourself doesn't give you the right to do what you're doing. I wish I could hit you, I should have when I had the chance. I wish I could hate you but that's not who I am. I wish your wife knew what a lying , cheating, snake, scumbag and pervert you are. I wish I had the courage to tell you both that I'm pregnant. Not to worry because I'm not keeping it, I definitely don't want your bastard child.

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I told you I miss you and I got my answer by you not texting me back, I'm not surprised to be honest.

 

You're still the same person who broke my heart, you haven't changed. You're a coward, that will never change and I was wrong to think that maybe you would change.

 

You're the one who cut me out of your life and then came back to me after a year, you're the one who said we can be friends. YOU came back, not me, because I didn't go anywhere. After coming back into my life, all you've done is mess with my head and I'm done it and I'm done with you.

 

It's not fair that I miss you and I still cry because of you when you couldn't give a toss, I'm gonna not bother you again and not text you.

 

Let's be realistic, I know that I'll always be second best. Things with me and you will never go back to how they used to be, I wouldn't even be able to look at you.

 

You're a horrible person and all I've done is be there for you. Thanks for nothing..

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You lost someone who never would've given up on you. When all that stuff happened, it made me cry because I knew that if I was still around I never would've let it get that bad.

 

I would've done anything to make you smile and to make you happy. I showed you that I would've done anything because I let you go, that's what you wanted.

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I've been up all night crying because of your lies. How could you use me like that? How can someone lie about something so major then expect me to go along like everything's okay? Like omfg what if I hadn't found out you were married? I'm assuming you would have continued to live your double life? You and I talked about marriage and even possibility of having kid's I'm in so much shock ;( I wouldn't have been able to lie like you did, it boggles my mind. I have respect for myself, I love myself which is why I'm not going to pretend. I wanna get married you can't give me that. It's just so hard cause I still love you a womanizer! You say you love me and that you'll never forget me or stop loving me and that you wish we had met eight years earlier that you're confused etc.(bullish) The fact of the matter is you're a dog for cheating on your wife whom you also so called "love" and also for cheating on me with another female other than your wife and I O_O You're a coward for not being a man and doing the right thing by divorcing her and or not marrying her in the first place if you can't keep it in your pants. I'm glad I ended it but so hurt that I was lied to from the start and about so many things -_- This is bitter sweet. I hope that this haunts you and you feel guilty for the rest of your life. I doubt you will considering you've had a gf while married who you've also so called "loved" haha you are pathetic and you don't know what love is and I feel so sorry for men cause you give em such a bad name and sorry for you especially your poor wife. I was in love one time before you and I never looked for anyone else or put myself in that type of situation. Cheating is cheating it's not a mistake drunk or not and even if your sex life with your partner is so called bad which I don't believe there are many places to go look to improve your sex life and or marriage if it is lacking. I just hope we never talk again or meet because I'm afraid of what I may do to you. Good riddance and I'm looking forward to meeting the one who actually deserves me. Now I know what to look out for so I guess I should be thanking you for this life experience and teaching me what the meaning of a douche is.

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