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Why do you have to show me you miss me. I just miss you so much and I don't understand why you won't at least TRY. You're worth more than who you've become. I wish you'd never contacted me again. Just let me be or be with me. No more in between.

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You cheated on me and that says all about who you really are.

 

I took you back and that was just so stupid of me.

 

You broke up with me 5 months later and you promised a letter to explain the reasons.

 

I never got that letter until 14 months later.

 

You regret your decision and want me back. At age 54 you had your enlightening moment, that life is not all about sex. Wow, congratulations with that Mister!

 

Life is not a box of chocolates, where you can have a bite, put it back, take another chocolate and then say, hey that first chocolate wasn’t so bad after all.

 

Because I am not going to be that first chocolate for you.

 

I am a proud woman and I am good and beautiful as I am.

 

Can you say the same of yourself?

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I am glad you texted me before you left town this morning for the triathlon. I don't know what you are to me, or me to you, and truly I don't know what I would do with you if given the full array of choices. If you were with me everyday, in my camp, totally here, then I would accept you. In and out, I will begin to see you and want you differently. And I can never tell until I am in your company.

 

Eventually, my desire for your physicality will fade, won't it? But your desire for me hadn't faded one bit while we were apart, even as you were with A. And when we walked that site together, there we were standing in an open field, open sky, and I purposely kept my body facing the same way as yours, or a foot away from yours, because had you kissed me I would have collapsed completely. Nor could I depend on whether I would not just kiss you impetuously, like a child stealing candy.

 

And so we follow our familiar arc. We go out, we take care of each other, we give each other plenty of room to live independent lives and develop ties elsewhere, but even as we do that, we pull each other in.

 

So, I wish you a great race. Thanks for texting. The rest? Unknown.

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It is has been 5 months of no contact, and I don't plan on uttering a single word to you ever again. The way you treated me in our relationship, and the way you walked out on me are things I will never be able to put out of my mind. Your breadcrumbs are nothing but feeble attempts to stroke your own ego at my expense. I'm going to find someone who actually deserves me. You're an immature little girl, and one day you'll regret that I'm not around for you.

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I've made my decision.

 

I won't take you back. You hurt me twice. Betrayed me. I loved you and would have done anything. This is about me now though, not you. You had me and you lost me. Leave. It's too late. It's too late for apologies or redemption...I might have loved you once...but now you're just a different person. You drove me to the brink of suicide at one point you know?

 

No. I CANNOT let you come back. Leave me be. I'll find someone who really deserves me...

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I wish I could see you. But all I feel inside is emptiness. Sometimes it feels like the feeling of missing you is being replaced by an empty hole. My anxiety spikes at night and I have to take extra medication for it. I wish I knew how you are, why you won't contact me. I thought breaking up was the best decision you made, so why does it seem like you are sad? I wish I'd stop hoping for something to rekindle us. I love you and cry about this everyday. I've been crying for 8 days straight. Nothing makes sense anymore.

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I came home tonight and knew I wouldn't, couldn't call you. Had you called me I would have settled in for a fun chat while you hang out in your hotel and I settle in for the night. But I couldn't call, that's not how you roll. If you want me on your phone, you will call me. Meanwhile, he called me while I was bowling, and he got a clear picture of who I was out with, and he offered that he was on his way out to watch the Final Four. He is keeping a connection, and giving me and getting visibility into life when we are apart. Whereas you leave me and become opaque.

 

And here is what is happening: I am leaving you in some way, I can tell. I am starting to get kind of excited by my new guy. Its not that I think I am doing anything wrong. It's that you don't want to know, it will hurt you, and it will dash whatever trust we are building. And yet we have nothing and may never. In the movies, I create this new relationship, but never really lose my love for you, then you woo me back, and it is romantic and chaotic. We don't live in the movies.

 

You expect me to receive and repel candidates, I know. But you don't expect me to receive a man into my apartment for the weekend. This would crush you and end us I think. I am not sure I want him here. I may go to his hotel instead. That makes a difference to you, I know. You would acknowledge that your behavior is irrational, but it would still be more than you can take.

 

I think starting this week, maybe I stop responding to you. Maybe that's the best way. Dang it B you sink you own dang ship with your own anchors and then regret the sinking. I feel bad about this eventual denouement.

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Hey Kel! Thanks for sending me those 3 texts tonight. You broke NC after only 1.5 days? I know you are hurting. But you get zero Ryan until you leave your husband. We said we'd jump together. I left. I'm waiting for you. But, it is too painful for me to be w/ someone not 100% available. You will not get your cake and eat it too. Sorry! So if you want Ryan, then you must file. You're on your own until you do. I love you baby. You''re my angel.

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I can feel the change inside of myself, I'm starting to let you go. I fought as best I could but in the end you chose to let me go. Maybe this was a glimpse of our future... Me fighting and you running, I don't know. All I know is I want someone that fights just as much as I do.

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This is my first time here and so I hope it will help ease the pain I am feeling. The short of it is this. I have a very dear friend who I love bunches. We were friends first and then he decided to take the relationship to the next level and it ended quickly but I still love him with my entire heart and soul. So what's the problem? It's easy. He was having medical issues and I suggested that he seek help and he did. Now he doesn't have any time for me and is pulling away. It's like I never even existed. To make matters worse he has this love/ hate thing with a woman who doesn't give a care about him. She sticks around just long enough to mess up his life with hopes of something greater and once he is involved in the relationship the girl blows her off. This happens with significant frequency.

 

How do I make him see that I am still his confidant and that my concern for him is true and well meaning? Do I write him a letter? Do I completely ignore him and write it off as being used by someone not worthy of my time? And how do I get him back to that comfortable place that we shared? My days are spent wondering what in the world went wrong and am concerned for his welfare as this other woman is absolutely toying with his mind.

 

Thoughts and help would be wonderful.

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very much want to write you that I am leaving you so that a can have you all to herself.

 

rather than write you I am thinking to just do it.Maybe I'll send you a letter. Maybe I won't bother.

 

a posted about how you scheduled a race in Miami argh as if everyone knows you would normally have been there. Maybe this is her cover. Maybe you wish you could have been there. I don't know. . I am tired.

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I wish I could just shake you and scream "I'm right here!" This is so disheartening. I am young and should be chilling by the pool and not worrying about whether you want me as a lover or a friend or if I should just forget about you all together.

 

I've read most of what is written here and I am left to deduce that there are no real men who care about girls anymore. Are there really no honorable MEN in the world anymore? That stinks.

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What's wrong with men these days? Just once I wish I could find a man who stands by his word; one who will stand by what he promises; one who is honorable and aboveboard and has a sense of nobility; someone who can tell the difference between right and wrong; just and unjust. He doesn't have to be rich or terribly handsome but a man who cares for others and is willing to put himself in harm's way for what he believes in. A college education isn't needed as I prefer a man who has learned by his own mistakes and doesn't look for justice at his own hands. A man who looks beyond his own wants and desires and is willing to put others first. A man who makes a lady laugh and hold her tight at night and listen to her about things that matter and things that don't. A man who forgets his own worries and asks how my day was first thing in the evening. A man who is kind and gentle and strong and sincere. A man who stands by his word. A man who admits his past indiscretions and promises that never ever again will those things happen again. A man who is there for a lady through thick and thin and won't go running off to someone else the minute a relationship begins to develop because he enjoys the "game" of pulling on a lady's heart strings. A man who sends flowers for no reason, who knows how to quietly listen when the conversation turns to troubles. A man who can make a lady feel comfortable and beautiful and desires physical contact. He can have a bit of a bad boy side but his true destiny is to care for the human race.

 

Is there such a man? I'm afraid that there really isn't.

Edited by Alone Now
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I am one; and I'm hopelessly in love with someone unavailable.

I hate it.

Other people sleep around; and hurt others when I never could: I take that to mean that there's something wrong with me.

 

I would love a Kiss, Hug, Cuddle and Romance relationship with a sweet woman.

Nevertheless:

We do exist.

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Today I feel like crap in all aspects of my life- career, health, love, all of it just sucks.

I'm hitting a low point and I imagine that you are happier without me. I'm not happier without you, but you leaving isn't the big issue, it was just the bandaid being ripped off. My life is a mess and you were the small piece that still made sense. When I lay beside you this knot in my chest would melt away and all that mattered was us. Now there's no distraction.

 

I know that this is a good thing. I know that the best I can do now is build myself back up and make the life I want.

 

I just wish you had stuck with me for this part. It's so painful alone.

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This is insane! I wake up and think of you. And the first thought is always nice and loving. But as I shake the cobwebs from my sleep I become increasingly depressed because I know I don't have you in my life. At least not the way I wish I did. Why can't you see me standing in my little corner ready to take you back when your heart is broken by someone else? Why won't you give our friendship a chance and be willing to let things happen naturally as we did before? Did I like sleeping with you? Yes I did. Would I give those magical few moments back to be what we once were for each other? Yes I would.

 

I wonder what today is going to bring me. Will I hear from you? Will I get a text that is so generic that you might as well be sending it to any random person? And would that random person be as excited as I am to hear from you? I doubt it. Because in spite of myself I have to come to grips that I am in love with you and that you never felt the same way.

 

Damn you for playing with my emotions and making it impossible for me to move on. I blame not only myself but you for letting it happen. Are my feelings just a playing field for you? Can't you see the pain that you caused me?

 

I was there for you when no one else cared or worse, no one else would listen to you. All I wanted to do was love you but you had to put rules attached to that because you wanted to be safe. How is it that you allowed me to give you my love and that once in a while you would say that you loved me also. Was I and am I just a game to you? Can't you see that I still love you and want you in my life as much as I can't stand the thought of you just looking beyond me to find yourself a new interest? What if I really needed you? Would you drop everything and come to my aid? Would you spend the energy it takes to see that I am safe and secure? Is it too much to ask for you to come and hug me when I feel like I need a good cry? The answer is no. You would do none of those things because you are so wrapped up in finding someone to make you feel the way that I know I made you feel. And the entire time you are looking for that security I am placed in a corner.

 

I will go to school today and look at my phone a thousand times hoping to see a text from you. And I know it will never come because you will be out with your friends and hoping the same hope but from someone completely different. Damn you. I am right here ready, willing and able to give you what you want in a person. But it's all a sick game to you. I am here but you enjoy the chase and once you get that person, you toss them aside. I can't play that game because I know you are the one I want in my life. Maybe that is the difference between us. I don't need the game or the chase because I know what I want and what I am capable of giving you. And it's something that you won't find anywhere else. I would give you all of me.

Edited by Alone Now
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