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Today is the exact two months from when we broke up .. you probably don't remember it as I was never your priority.

6th freaking time is what I count of you either text me or we ran into each other and I could not run away without being weird ... lol

 

I think I have enough breadcrumbs to fulfill my carb quota for a lifetime. Next time you text me, I will just flat out said "please don't do this again" ... because apparently unfriended you on FB and said that I will add you back when I'm ready and one text that said may be we can be friend at some point still means to you that you can text me whenever you like!!! Darn you!!!!

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well guys im back..didnt think it would be this fast...smh...

 

 

 

what i would like to say to her is why...things were great, why are u scared of the future...me graduating makes u feel like its time to grow up? i dont get it...maybe its better we didnt drag it out this time..you hurt me bad this time...takes a lot to make me cry...

 

you need to learn how to deal with stress and things not always going the way they should or every relationship u have will be a dissapointment.

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It was so nice to seeing you, and thanks for everything, it is very sweet of you… I still felt very close to you for very good reasons. I wish we can overcome the past, and be stay at present

 

For some reason I felt our communication was kind of off, I know it is always hard in situation like us…I felt bad I still felt resentment, I guess I was hurting and hold a lot of resentment in me… I am still work on it, I hope I able to let it go for good…

 

I still have all this mix felling of you, sometime I felt I still in love with you, then other time I felt you do not deserve my love, but in the end I know I love you and I care for you, no matter what, I hope you will be happy and healthy… big hug!

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Exactly two years ago today we met for the first time. Exactly two months ago today was the last time we saw each other... There is something wrong with this We should be celebrating being together.. instead it's just another day/night wishing you would come back to me...

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traveling for work this week, to San Fran. sitting at a cafe watching a beautiful city and people go by. thinking of what you said when you broke up, you said I had some good qualities. I wonder what you meant, I can't think of any right now. I have no esteem left, I just don't want to try anymore.

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We talked today about hanging out this weekend. You said to give you time to think about it. That you were leaning more towards a no. I understand. I won't push it. I'm suddenly very curious to know what you are up to. If you are thinking about it or just letting me stew. Funny how the tables have turned again.

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Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I'd taken that job and moved with you. The reasons I wanted to stay at my current job are gone now. I wonder if we would've worked out then. If things would've gotten better. I know I can't go back and change it, but it does make me think sometimes.

 

And I've been wanting to say thank you. It's crazy how often something happens, and I'm so appreciative of you and the things you did for me. Stupid things. Like, when I take the garbage out, and I remember how you would always do that. Or when I was using the shovel you bought for me, and I was so grateful that you bought an expensive, sturdy one because it has lasted me so long. I notice more now all of the considerate things you did. Things I took for granted. And I kick myself for that. I mean, when you bought the shovel, I didn't think anything of it. I'm not even sure I said thank you.

 

I miss you. Every day. The little things, the big things, and everything in between.

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Okay, you are not even my "ex," since we were never even in a "committed" relationship. But I still miss you, and I wonder how your days are going. I hope that you are doing well, but I also hope that you realize that how much I meant to you, even though you didn't realize it at the time. But, your therapist will probably tell you that you should let it go.

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Reading through this thread breaks my heart

 

Me? I've run out of things to say to her. There's just nothing left to say. I'm trying my best to reach acceptance and make due with the realization that it's totally over, there's no going back, and that some part of me will always miss her.

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You loved me in a way I thought I'd never be loved, and I loved you in a way you always wanted, but didn't thing you'd have. I gave you all of the trust, honesty, and committment any person can ask for. I propped you up when life got hard. I took over any and everything I could to help, I adored you, loved you, cherished you, and in return all I got from you was " I feel differently and need to be alone a while" which has extended to....forever. I would have done anything possible to make you happy, and you kjnow that becaus you experienced it. I don't understand how I was ok to have when life was hard, but when it got mellow, and it could have been US, we could have had some time, more time, when it got mellow you got rid of me and brought in someone new, after "needing independence." My pets are gone, step-kids, home. It's all gone, and all she could give me was "eh, it didn't feel right, and I need to be alone now to process. Really? You couldn't come to me and process with me? Now we're done. Three years gone. No more. Our 7 year friendship for nothing. 10 years of relationships, 3 of which committed, and it's all gone for reasons I don't know and will never understant. You should have left me alone.

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Likewater.....

 

I agree, I too have run even out of desire to post here anymore, but the bittersweet reading here is hard to resist......

 

So many just wanting to be loved, I among them....releasing pain in a healthy way....

 

but it is indeed heartbreaking, we'll all get thru it...

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In moments of difficulty, I crave your familiarity.

 

bah, I feel the same..

 

I try and I do very well now, it's been a while. But there is still a part of me there. Hoping that magically it will all go back to normal and I don't have to go to the gym, work hard, open up, smile to strangers, love again, trust again and just overall do all those things I am petrified of doing again.

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I AM at peace and I have ALWAYS left you alone. YOU are the one who keeps trying to contact ME. Nothing you wrote in that last text even matters to me anymore. It's been almost two years now since the initial bu. I have finally moved on. I'm committed to my boyfriend and you really must leave me alone. I don't want any trouble or problems. Take care and much love and success to you.

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Do you remember that it's my birthday today? Probably not, it's not an important date for you.

It stings a little to realize that I am just, not part of your life. Not even worth a text to say hey, person I loved for 2 years, happy birthday!

 

Oh well. It's important to me, and the people who care about me know that and remember it and thank god for them.

 

I'm going out to eat with my brother and his gf whose visiting. I'm thankful for the company, but seeing how in love they are, and feeling so far removed from that feeling....is hard. Being in love feels so distant. That happiness, that bliss of loving and trusting someone so much...

 

You broke that in me. How can I trust someone like that again? I know it's gonna heal and I know that I will fall in love someday, but right now, it sucks.

 

I've typed it out and feel better, I'm gonna go celebrate now. I'm going to not let you sit in my thoughts and I'm going to be happy for my brother and his girl because they give me hope that someday I'll feel like that again.

Edited by beaton
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bah, I feel the same..

 

I try and I do very well now, it's been a while. But there is still a part of me there. Hoping that magically it will all go back to normal and I don't have to go to the gym, work hard, open up, smile to strangers, love again, trust again and just overall do all those things I am petrified of doing again.

 

wow i could have written this.

 

I waited so long for someone to come into my life and then you came along and i just thought it was it. And it was perfect and i was happy and didnt know where it went wrong. And i would forget the horrible things that came at the end if we could go back to the way it was. I wake up and miss you. I go to sleep and miss you. and im so tired of going out into the world and putting a brave face on it. I dont want to meet anyone else. I dont want to get to know anyone else or the disappointment of dates with people that arent right for me. For a very long time even when we were only friends there was only you. i miss you, our dogs miss you- i miss our lovely lovely life that was so perfect until you met someone else and wanted out. My god even typing that hurts.

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Ugh....

I'm really just mad at myself at this point, why did I even take you back last April, I should have known you'd get "confused" again, I bet it's your nature in relationships, to be ambivalent.

 

Go get good and drunk on St Paddys like you always do, fall down like usual and get all bruised, have a drunken one-night stand and enjoy your Monday all banged up.......

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I went out tonight. Not that you would care. You knew I would never ever cheat, you knew that despite being the most popular girl in the room, the person who made friends with everybody and whom everyone wanted to speak to- I only ever had eyes for you. Now I don't want to be popular. I want people to leave me alone. I am so sad without you and I hate having to tell people why I'm not my normal smiling self. Tonight I had dinner with friends and some handsome boys. It was fun to flirt but at the back of my mind was you. I wish more than ever that I had gone home to you, to get into bed beside you and tell you about my evening. Instead I drove by our flat where no doubt you and her were sleeping and went to my friends where I stay- away from our home, away from my security for the past few years and it kills me. Why aren't I in bed beside you? Why is it her instead? How can you switch your feelings on and off so suddenly- to go from loving someone completely to another partner in no time?! I miss you in every possible way. Being drunk and heartbroken is pants

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Hey you. Well, nearly 4 months since our breakup. I'll be honest, it's flown by, and I'm so happy it has. When you left me I was in a mess. I went through absolute hell. I had to battle a lot demons in my life after you left, and your betrayal was the toughest one.

 

I'm stronger now though. It's amazing how I just suddenly became happy that night and it's just...stuck. The worst really is over, I can feel it. I almost feel like I'm done being angry. I still think about you but now it's really only when something reminds me. You aren't on my mind 24/7 anymore. I'm starting to make peace with everything, with not seeing you again, accepting this as beyond my control and seeing you for what you are.

 

I'm done looking like an idiot to you, I'm done degrading myself. I wish I could change some of the things I did and said. But I can't. All I can do is live in the present and look forward to the future.

 

One day you might realise what you gave up on. But I'll be long gone. I know I'm not fully over you because I still want you to realise your loss, I still want you to experience my pain. It's not as strong now though. I know I don't want you back and I know we will never be. I'm getting there and after these hellish 4 months I finally see the finish line.

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i know I still have feeling, but same time I know I need let everything go... your emotionally immature, and self centered, I am not sure I can handle someone like that... I do not hate you, but I wish I got a sincerely apology, but I know I will never have... I decided, I will let u go ... and I am looking forward my new life... and hope one day, we can be friends or family . bye!

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