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Post here instead of contacting your ex!


Nynnja
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i miss you. trying to date makes me miss you even more. but i know you aren't the one for me. there are too many differences....too many bad habits. in the end i don't want someone like that. but i fell hard for the love. your love was one of a kind. i know you have a lot to offer. just wasn't the right timing. so much wrong- that I avoided. i was such a mess when we met. i fell hard for your love- that in the end i'm not even sure was real. it was the idea of me, the infatuation. in the end you hated me.

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I really enjoyed our talk yesterday even though I told you I was going NC for an indefinite amount of time and to not contact me. I had no choice my dear you have sent me too many mixed signals and I no longer could deal with it or allow you to wrench at my heart. The hour we spent on the phone really helped me have closer and feel special to you once again. I did not think you would except the tagged photos I had put on FB and MySpace of us kissing and hanging out so long ago. You suprised me! I really was shocked to see that after our talk you went o your MySpace and moved me from not even being on your top 35 friends to number 6! Wow, I guess I should have cut you off sooner! LOL

 

Now it is over i have done what I must and now I can try to start healing. I no longer will be looking at the clock knowing it's your lunch or break or time to get off work hoping for a call or text. I now must try to not keep looking at your updates on FB.

 

I will miss you and I hope someday to be able to come back into your life as a friend. I really don't know and am feeling it wont happen. Doubt if I start dating someone they will want me being close to my x. So anyway, this is it. time to let you go and except it's over. I know I did the right thing telling you not to contact me. it is just going to be hard for awhile not hearing your voice or laughing with you on the phone,.

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Posting here instead of contacting you today is pointless...because we had contact all day. I shouldn't have caved in when you texted me this morning. It was a mistake. Now I supposed I will be expected to talk to you tomorrow as well. I don't know what I am going to do, but if i'm smart I won't respond I think.

 

I am confused, mad, and sad. I want to forgive you, but you make it so difficult for me. I don't know if I ever can. Especially because we talked for one day and already argued. Nothing changed.

 

People keep telling me he isn't that interested in you....why do you keep needing to reel me back in then?!

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Why can’t I pull myself out of this relationship? Why do I keep believing you? Why do I keep falling for it? You pushed, and you pushed and you pushed to the point where I couldn’t believe that you would bother unless you were genuine. I fell for it. I put myself out there. I TRUSTED you. You make me sick. I used to think so much of you. I cant think of anyone I would have rather spent my time with in those happy months. What happened? Or were you fake the whole time and I just didn’t see it? I get such anger towards you. I can feel it in my gut and I feel as though its eating away at me, like the hatred is killing me.

 

I guess I’m scared because there is so much tied up in you. It doesn’t just involve me anymore. It involves secrets I’ve hidden from my family, it involves my friends and my happiness. Yes, my happiness is tied up in you and our secrets. Not for long, but at the moment.

I’m cutting the ties. I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do, but I’m trying not to look too far ahead. I feel that if I take this one day at a time, I will be okay. Worrying about tomorrow is going to achieve nothing. I’ll be as strong as I can and I’ll do as much as I can to make sure you never, ever get anywhere near my heart, ever again.

 

Facebook. I feel like I build myself up to the point where I can’t wipe the smile off my face. Its like this sense of peace that I didn’t know that I would ever have. Then I go on Facebook. I don’t know why. I guess sometimes I feel as though I have to face the reality. That my life is nothing without you. That making myself so happy is delusional somehow because its nothing compared to you. Seeing your face. Seeing you with your friends. Seeing you seemingly happy. It kills me. Its such a poisonous, dead feeling. I cry. Almost every time. I need to be free of you.

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So my dearest... so your birthday is next week and we are having our last time out together tomorrow night before I going completely NC most likely forever. I have to admit, I am looking forward to seeing you for the last time. It has been 3 weeks since we hung out together but we both know it has to end because we both want different things. You want friendship I want more. Truthfully I am not sure you know what you want with all the mixed signals you have sent me the past 3 weeks. But it really doesn't matter at this point.

 

What is cool is that even though I want you back I am not panicky and feel I can get through this because we are ending as we are. Most couples that end do not get the chance to end like us. I am excited about going out dancing and drinking with you tomorrow and giving you your present. I know you still have feelings for me and may some day decide you want to come back. I am not holding out for that and am starting my healing process by going NC.

 

You know where you stand. I told you if you want to come back we can talk and if not don't contact me. I will be back if I am ok with being just friends. I believe you respect me even more now because I have said goodbye. I am happy I am going out on a high note. I will at least be able to walk away as you will with a bunch of good feelings about the other person. I am so thankful I have made this choice and not agreed to just be friends but was honest with you about what I wanted.

 

You know I will make sure tomorrow before we part ways for the last time that you know you have two options. You can come back as my girl and see what happens or we can go back to the way it was in the beginning of our relationship and be FB's and that I am ok with that. you date who you want to date and I will date who I want to date. If you want to go out and have fun and then back to my house for some fun cool. If you dont want either of those don't call.

 

Well it will be an interesting night for sure If you stand me up I will be pissed. I don't think you will.

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Last week when you asked me to go to a show "with you," I gladly did, and told you so.

 

But at the end of the show, when XXXXX XXXXXXXX asked you the simple question of whether we came together, you couldn't just say yes - you tried to give her a complicated answer of how you had an extra ticket, blah, blah, until I made a joke of it and rescued you from your own inability to give an honest answer to this simple question. The answer was yes, we came together since you asked me to go "with you." You had a problem just saying so. It didn't leave me with a good feeling, and I don't need you to bring that into my life anymore.

 

Your obsession with how you present your life, with or without me in it, is no longer my problem. You had over a year of my devotion, attention and in-person company. You chose to squander it by looking at your phone, and playing games with your online profiles, ignoring and undermining me while I was literally by your side.

 

I have moved on, and do not need to be part of your games any more.

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Liz called today regarding my mammogram results. There's something suspicious in my left breast, probably nothing. I just have to get another mammogram and an ultra-sound. Canceled my plans for tonight because I'm internalizing it (what am I going to do with all that halibut and spinach?).

 

Then I was wondering how you'd react if I were sick. Doesn't matter, because I'm not. It's the hormones I'm taking. But if I were? Would it be another instance of self-concern over how it was going to mess up your life and be "just another thing you have to deal with"?

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Please change all your passwords.

You were always the one who had to help me control myself, huh?

 

How could you move on so fast? Do you ever think of me? Does anything remind you of me?

I'm always thinking about you. Too many things remind me of you.

 

I miss you.

 

How am I supposed to feel when I find out about you and her? I need to stop looking. Self torture. I thought you guys would take it slow though. Well, I don't know. What did you do? I don't want to know. I want to know. I don't.

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I've sacrificed so much for you & yet you don't see it. I'm walking away because you don't care anymore. It doesn't matter anymore because you don't see my effort. I have to be strong and move one. I don't want to hear your excuses anymore. I'm tired.

 

I'm strong enough to surpass this. I will survive. I can live without you. I don't know how many times and nights I've spent countless tears for you. By the time you realize this, it's already too late. You never care enough.

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Nice idea for a thread. This is my first time posting, but I've been lurking for quite awhile. Sorry if this is a little long.

-------------------

Dear Ex,

 

I wish things could have ended better between us, if they had to end at all. I'll never completely understand what went wrong. I trusted you, but you lied to me so much that now I don't know what was real and what wasn't in our relationship. Were you ever really in love with me? I can't believe you actually said that maybe I was "just a rebound." Do you know how much that hurt, after our conversation a few months prior to that? You told me you loved me. You knew I was reluctant to move forward with things, due to the skeletons in my closet. You told me I had nothing to worry about, and when I asked you to be patient with me and that I needed time and your support, you agreed. Why then, when I finally realized that I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else, did you suddenly withdraw? Things weren't always perfect in the past, but I was learning. We agreed to compromise, and I felt like things were moving in a good direction. Before my vacation, you even said you wanted our families to start hanging out together more. What was the point of that?

 

You stopped taking my calls while I was on vacation and had me on the brink of concern, wondering if you were okay. When I finally started talking to you, I asked you if things were okay between us, and you said they were. Why do that if they weren't?

 

Why is it when I finally got you to talk a few days later about things that you still had to lie to me? Why did you have to hide your doubts about us for so long and lead me on? I asked you straight up if there was someone else in the picture, and you said no. 2 days later, after things fell apart I suddenly hear that you are hanging out with HER? Thanks for the slap in the face. Then, a few weeks later, I find out that you two are a couple again. You didn't even have the guts to tell me that your ex fiance, the one you were supposedly over, was back in your life? You were so happy when she finally moved all of her things out of your house. Your best friend even said that you were miserable with her. Why bring her back now? I highly suspect now that you were cheating on me, whether physically or emotionally, I'll never know. Thanks for having no respect for us. I've certainly lost a lot of respect for you. I'm still hurting 4 months later and feeling like things are still unresolved. Before we started dating, you were my buddy. I thought we were good friends. I never felt so connected to a man before- I felt like you were my soulmate. How could you do all this to me? Why couldn't you have just been yourself from Day One? What was the point of pretending? What was real? What wasn't?

 

I realize now that you were probably toxic for me. I desperately just want to move on and almost want to laugh because the whole situation with you guys is completely weird. I just wish I could forget you.

Edited by DestinyFound
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I'm feeling increasingly better, and I trust that you are, too. I know that there was nothing I could do to change the fact that I was not meant for you, but it's so hard to let go of the person who I gave so much of myself to. Thank you for your warmth in the cold and sunlight through the darkness of Fall and Winter. Thank you for your patience and understanding. You are a wonderful, irreplaceable young woman and I feel blessed to have gotten a taste of your life. I wish I could call you my baby, but you are not my baby anymore.

 

I've got a mountain of things to conquer in these next two months before graduating, and know that you've got quite a bit to take care of as well, so I won't distract you. Perhaps in time we will meet again on the other end and hang and relax. It's impossible to see that now, but only time will tell.

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It was great to hear your voice last night, i have missed being able to chat to you , even if its only been a little over a week its still so odd not to speak daily.

I was thinking today , do i really need any guarantees or promises about our future, i mean we could very well see how things go for a year... then i thought you know what yes i do need some idea that you care enough about me and have enough interest in the relationship to at least consider it

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You talk about 'dignity' and being able to look life in the face.

 

Well, take a look at yourself. You are a 37 year old woman who grows marijuana and thinks it's cool!

 

Furthermore, you expose a 15 year old boy to it, and to alcohol.

 

You should be ashamed of yourself.

 

Even if we had have got along, i don't think that your lack of backbone would have done me well. I am looking for somebody courageous, and you do not fit that criteria.

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Lol damn... I was talking to that girl whom you used to be crazy jealous off remember? Yeah turns out she is a bit of a * * * * * lol... so forget about that... damn.. I was really thinking this new girl would have been a nice way to finish getting over you... meh.. who cares.. I am just bored right now and don't really care about you anymore. But you are lucky, see I am not chasing any girl right now... if you were smart you would take this opportunity and try your luck with me lol ... anyway... gtg to class c ya

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Well, I guess sometimes the grass really IS greener. You seem very happy and seemed to find exactly what you were missing from me. I will regret that we didn't fight at all to save our marriage. You seem to think we did. However, I really think this is a combination of your 2 biggest personality flaws. (a) You are a horrible liar, so much so that you convince yourself your lies are the truth. (b) You are the worst person I've ever met at confronting issues. We could have fixed things.

 

At the end of the day though, you are right. I wasn't there emotionally, and you weren't happy. It's hard to blame you. I did a lot of things right though. I was steadfastly loyal for 15 years. I was supportive. I was funny. I was trustworthy. I was a great father.

 

I hope one day, you get the clarity to at least see through your own BS and accept your part in this failed marriage. I don't think this will happen though, and I don't think you will care. You've gotten exactly what you want. Despite my pain and being rejected & betrayed ABSOLUTELY by the one person I never thought would, I still want you to be happy. I hope one day I will find the right person for me... because in our case you weren't the one, and I wasn't the one.

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