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Post here instead of contacting your ex!


Nynnja
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i know you're gone....we're finally diminished. and there's nothing in the world that will change that now. took a traumatic experience to break the tie- as sad as that is...just shows how messed up we really were. i feel for you deeply and can only imagine the pain you're in. i wish i could be there for you. but i'm no longer your best friend- that went away a long time ago as well. i wonder what you think of me- if at all. i wonder if you still can't help but wonder how I am, the way I do about you. but i think in your head you were always stronger- in knowing it wasn't right. that was enough for you to not contact. how you were stronger, when you were the one that always loved desperately, never letting me go....i will never know. i guess you reached your breaking point. as did i many times, but the silence keeps me wanting to go back. i'm letting you be this time- i owe you that much respect. ready to find something real again- i just don't know where that will be.

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Life has been so stress free without you. Until you called me today. We were happy and miserable together. Now we are apart and happy. This was the better decision for us. I look forward to traveling with my friends and do the things that you never wanted to do. Though I'm not ready to date yet, I'm happy being single. I'm glad you found someone else. I'm glad your happy. Though I always wanted to keep the line of communication open, you still have a problem with it. So I'll continue with the no contact. I'll continue to block you and I'm even going to change my phone number. When your ready to be an adult about this and be friends, then we'll talk. But in the mean time, I'm fine. I've lost weight, I'm happier, I'm more focused, and though I'm continuing to work 60+ hours a week. The days are a lot easier without you in it. I was confused about the future. We were suppose to marry next year, move out, and then buy a house, travel, and have kids by 2015. But now, without you or someone else to suck my time and money out of me. I'll be buying my house and traveling and experience life on my own. Maybe one day we'll meet up again and are able to be friends. But in the mean time, we both have some soul searching to do. Good luck to you, I'll be just fine.

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I'm not going to contact you unless I have to. I know that's what I have to do. You can order the light fixtures and I'll have Brian install them. He needs the money. In fact, he'll do all the things around here without being paid. He's made it clear that I'm his fantasy girl...beautiful, intelligent, full of life (he doesn't see the dark phases), but he knows I'm not over you. There's Andy. And David. Christ, the men are crawling out of the woodwork. All but the one I want. Maybe it's best if we hire Brian to do your work here and I date the others. What are your thoughts?

 

By the way, have you seen how fabulous I look lately? You think you've done better with Patricia? Does she satisfy you in bed? Did you get to the point that you could tell her about your fetish? Was she accomodating or repulsed? Oh, I guess the Cialis prescription in your bathroom would indicate that maybe she doesn't have the same effect on you that I do. How could she? I've never seen an African American woman who dressed like a frumpy middle aged woman before. And you said she was too "into appearances" for your tastes? Did you see those hiking pictures? She looked like a man. Maybe that's confidence, but I think it's something else - ignorance.

 

BTW, I did a background check on her. Other than the fact that she's declared bankruptcy and probably looks at you as a nice bonus, there wasn't much there. Her house? She inherited it from her mother, who died two years ago. Do you go over and install new light fixtures for her, too?

 

Well, I guess you'll be around to do the lights, help clear out the shed again, maybe clean the windows, and I'll see you in June at our daughter's ballet performance. I can't think of anything else you'll be needed for and you only come around if there's something that requires your presence. We don't do anything together now. Some friend you turned out to be. I guess you only need one.

 

I'm done being rejected by you. I would never reject you, but I've had enough. I deserve better and get better from everyone I know. Nobody ever has or ever will treat me as badly as you did. Never again.

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=( im scared today, i was having bad thoughts. i have always been there for you when things got rough =( now you have him, but he doesnt know you and i know you are sad and alone =( i just wish you could send me some text telling me you are ok =(

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Making this silent treatment permanent is my only choice. It's too painful to do this with you every couple weeks...your ways are dysfunctional and there is no excuse that would make me accept being treated this way. Your silent treatments don't do anything but show how mean you can be. They are degrading too. Like usual you will come back in a few days as if nothing happened, but I won't be there to pick up the severed, broken, shattered pieces. I am in so much pain. I have a hard time believing if you love someone you would do this to them.

 

I have met someone else who is picking up your broken pieces with me, someone so kind who would never speak to me and treat me in those ways that you did.

 

Two years, so many days spent together, and I always knew that I wasn't it for you. I kept hoping you would really fall in love and see me in a wonderful new light but that never happened. It was like instead of coming alive, you died. All of your adventurous ways and travels you went on before we met, and I could not inspire you enough to take a weekend getaway with me, not a single one. You were full of many empty promises always blaming your lack of zest of life on your work situation which we both know was just a scapegoat.

 

You should have spent far more time getting over your Ex. You and I's relationship was convenient for you. But all of your passion and love lay in your past.

 

Even though it is painful to come out of that paralyzing fog of denial and hope, it is better that this mask comes off and we can move on. I wish nothing but love and happiness for you...Someday you will fall in love again. (It just wasn't with me) The light will turn on and colors will come back to your world again. It is sad to me because I do love you, if you only loved me too we would have a great life together. In the words of Bonnie Rait, I can't make you love me if you don't. And the writing is finally on the wall... so you take care now... I will be fine. Please do not come back to try it again. You will not meet with the same dg who you knew before. It really is over.

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I am so glad we talked yesterday, I am glad you are wanting to at least think about working things out.

 

It still hurts my feelings that we aren't together...and it hurts my feelings it is taking so long for you to decide if you want to be with me.

 

and sometimes idk if i can wait

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Good luck with your interview - i suspect you don't think i care so im going to text you too. What will be will be huh. You're not the most important person in my life huh? I have a funny way of showing it? Well, 7 weeks on you're wrong - Ok, well here goes, good luck - sent xx

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What a jerk you turned yourself into. Are you truly yourself ? Why do you fake it all the time. STOP and take some time to reflect who you REALLY are. We discussed that numerous times about you having split personalities. Are you really that self centered ? I can't believe I was with you for more than a year. It really freaks me out, I don't know who you REALLY are.

 

Yesterday night, I kept having flashbacks about you and what J said. STOP being mean to be..I think I deserve some RESPECT AND HONESTY from you. It sucks to be you huh !

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Dear Ex,

I am really confused as to why you called today. I thought it was to actively participate in my life again. Are you really so over things that you're ready to be friends? To tell me all about the new girls you have dated without any of our old feelings stirred?

 

As our conversation neared the end, I couldn't help, but miss you. I wanted to see you. To hold you. To have a thousand more conversations. To think you could end the conversation, so easily and move forward with your life hurts me so much. I just can't do that.

 

Every day since we've parted, I waited for you to contact me. I hoped you would call. I hoped you would make this bad dream go away. I waited to hear you say you had made a mistake. That love is more than skin deep, and that maybe all of your current suffering without me made you re-evaluate your previous statements.

 

I waited for you to prove "our mutual friend" wrong, that white girls weren't "just for fun until they were ready for something more serious". Because spending every single day with someone, sharing the minute details of your life with someone, isn't "fun". That's beyond fun. That's building something.

 

I wish you could understand how much I opened my heart to you. I am very picky as to who to date, but when I finally pick someone, I am very loving.

 

You threw all of that away because I wasn't the right race.

 

And now you want to be my friend.

 

How do you think I could ever even trust you?

 

I am hurt and confused.

 

You said, ""Our mutual friend" has convinced me this is the right decision."

 

Shouldn't you know that on your own? "Our mutual friend" isn't a proxy for my feelings if you ever thought that. I would call her and tell her how much I missed you. How I wished you would call, and she would say, "Oh, I told him what you wanted was space."

 

I don't see how a third person should come between our relationship.

 

I wish you could say that you know it is the right decision. You know I am not the girl for you because you ultimately want to be with "insert preferred race here". Not a Caucasian girl. I want to hear that from you, so I can have closure and move on.

 

And when that happens, I never want to be your friend. I don't want to be friends with the guy who let me go. I am such a wonderful, loving person, and you threw that away over nothing, and I would never want someone who broke my heart and who just did it again tonight to be my friend.

 

I was hoping things could be more. I was waiting for you to fix things. Please give me the closure I need by confirming the fact you are a self-absorbed porn-addicted racist.

 

Why did you even call?

 

Sincerely,

Me.

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This time it was 4am...tossing and turning, thinking of you, staring up at the ceiling and at a bit of light popping through the patterned little cracks between the closed blinds. Feeling sad, sick, stomach twisting and burning. Where are you?

 

Then I got this gentle loving clarity... I will be okay.

 

It occurred to me that most people do not want to hurt someone in a breakup. You didn't care, you didn't even tell me you are breaking up, you just up and disappeared, no thoughts about damage control or talking with me respectfully just to honor any bit of friendship we'd had. Nothing. You're gone.

 

I will be okay. You know what, I will be better than okay. I will have the most wonderful life one day as now I am freed up to seek the love and give the love that I have inside.

 

You must have been pretty sure you never wanted to see me again. Other normal guys will try to let someone down easy, possibly even leaving the door open after getting space to reconcile. But your actions are permanently closing that door. It's not a breakup that I can't tolerate, it's the way you treated me, no dignity. Don't ever show back up here.

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You said you wanted time to work things out, but still wanted to talk

why are you ignoring me. Why are you being so mean to me

 

its as if i never mattered to you, as if those nights we spent talking and holding eachother never meant anything to you.

 

you either want to meet me and see if things work out or not. I am done with this living in limbo thing.

its not fair to me.. I am sick, depressed, and constantly crying out of no where.

 

Just tell me, what the F you want to do.

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I'm really sorry I neglected you over our final months. I was pushing you away and unavailable and didn't give you the attention you deserved. I was out of town for our anniversary and new years eve. I realize now that I should have been more caring about your needs. I'm sorry for that.

 

I'm also sorry for being so uptight about things that really don't matter and causing you stress with having to deal with that. Looking back I see how silly it was.

 

Sometimes we have to learn the hard way though.

 

I hope you are doing well.

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Why would you stay up with me until 8:30 in the morning to talk about us and how you understood I had been stressed from class and work and never meant to treat you poorly, then dump me the second I walk in to see you for the first time in a week to work on things, and why do you keep giving me mixed signals?? above all why do you claim to still love me? if you loved me I wouldn't be on this site venting to people I don't know, I'd be out with you right now, and stop trying to get me to be your friend, if I wanted to be your friend I would have just stayed your friend instead of dating you for 3 and a half years

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Slighty off topic..

 

You must have been pretty sure you never wanted to see me again. Other normal guys will try to let someone down easy, possibly even leaving the door open after getting space to reconcile. But your actions are permanently closing that door. It's not a breakup that I can't tolerate, it's the way you treated me, no dignity. Don't ever show back up here.

 

I'm glad it's not just me that's experience this

 

Why don't you get this^^^? Stop stringing along now and give me my stuff back, talk, or something, just do....something..to make me think it counted. Quit with the one word answers - you're not that stupid are you? You know what you have to do - you told me, so do it, and we'll get this over and done with FOR ME. It's not what i want - especially now, but It's what you wanted isn't it. So crack on with it so i can stop thinking you are doubting it

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I'm sadder than I've been in ages.

 

I can't control the impulses to check up on you. My life is nothing near what I thought it would be at this point. I feel so abandoned. Kicked to the curb. You've gone back against every word. Why does that still bother me? I was so close with you. I have no positive feelings toward you. It's either indifference or hatred. Nobody has ever made me feel this bad. I'm glad it happened, I guess. It hurts a lot. But only sometimes. In fact, I'm already starting to feel okay...

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Since our lease technically ended last year and we were on a month to month basis, when you moved out you no longer have rights to enter the house. I asked you to tell me when you planned on getting your stuff and you didn’t do it. You have no common decency what so ever. I don’t know what I did to you to make you so mad at me. That said, leave ALL spare keys you have in the mail box today. If you come in the house again, I will consider it trespassing and press charges. By the way stop taking your mother’s advice, she is a B***H.

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I feel I don't even know you anymore. You never portrayed yourself and this person who add's girls from dating sites to their life. In fact I didn't think you had it in you to be this way at all.

I thought we would make it through anything, you said we would, you also said you'd never leave and if I left you'd wait. The roles seems to have reversed, only difference is, you left me and after everything I still don't know how to let you go.

You make me out to be this crazy person and I still care. Why do I still care?

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