Jump to content

Post here instead of contacting your ex!


Recommended Posts

I'm done being angry with you and sad over what I lost. After all, how much of a loss is it if I didn't really have something to begin with?

 

Today I looked at your Facebook for the first time since we broke up. I had a rough, emotional morning and my curiosity got the better of me. You're already in an official relationship with the girl you started seeing to the week you broke up with me. And I'm pretty sure you were talking to her towards the end of us anyway. Your status update about how happy she makes you are almost word-for-word the same ones you made about me not much longer than a month ago. I got a serious case of deja vu when I looked over everything. You know what else I got deja vu over? How even though you gush about her endlessly, you still still seem just as unhappy with life as you did before and you still make status updates about how confused and angry you are. Your excuse for breaking it off with me was that you hate being in a relationship when your life is in the state its in because you're so unhappy.

 

Not to mention how you're maintaining your active OKCupid profile with your status still listed as single. I'm nosy and looked at hers and it is the same. But to her credit she hasn't logged in weeks. You logged in as recently as Monday.

 

I don't wish any ill will towards you, nor her, nor you two as a couple. I honestly don't. I got a weird sense of calm and closure when I saw all that on your Facbeook since you never allowed me closure, a real reason, the truth, or a proper goodbye. Now I know my suspicions were right and I have the answers I need to fully move on. But please don't allow the deja vu to continue by doing to her what you did to me, and the girl before me. You crushed my world and my happiness overnight. You haven't the faintest idea of how much you did hurt me. And this girl doesn't deserve that even if I'm not her biggest fan from when she used to be in a circle of friends I was in. Don't blame her if she can't keep up with your erratic mood swings that happen at the snap of a finger several times a day.

 

You just weren't that into me. You were at some point but you lost it. That's not your fault and you can't be blamed. It happens. I just hope that if history repeats itself once again (which I find likely given your dating history and emotional state, if we're being honest here) that you don't lie to her and you don't lie to yourself. Show her more respect than you showed me. Remember when your ex of a year cheated on you four times and how hurt you were? Or when the other one inexplicably left without any explanation? Do you remember how bad those made you feel? She is a human with feelings and emotion too. Remember that.

 

If I'm wrong and it does work out between you two? Then good for you. It's not my nature to hold grudges against people so I do wish you well in life. For what it's worth, thank you for the good times, as tainted as the memories may be by how things ended.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hate how I fall back into missing you some nights, and write that crap about how I 'need' you. I don't. I've been on my own just fine since you left. I don't need someone who treated me like you did.

 

And now, when guys from my past come sniffing around, I am strong enough to ignore them. I'm not someone's back-up plan, second choice, or quick easy lay. I'd rather be alone than settle for that garbage. At least I can come out of this with a changed perspective and not be so willing to settle. So you were good for something, I guess.

 

I hate who you have become and I hate that I'm not fully over it. But...I no longer feel that tie to you if that makes sense. Like at first I still felt attached but now it really is feeling like I never even knew you. I have a feeling in a few months I will be kicking myself for wasting so much time thinking about you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As time passes - 6.5 months now - I have come to realize some things.

 

I'm smart. I'm funny. I'm pretty. I'm sexy. I'm loving. I'm patient. I'm thoughtful. I'm articulate. I'm honest. I'm trustworthy. I'm hardworking. I'm generous. I'm compassionate. I'm insightful. I'm devoted. I'm kind. I'm cuddly. I'm sweet. I'm talented. I'm passionate (if you know what I mean, and I know you do).

 

In fact, you know all of these things. Don't you? Yet you left.

 

So you know what that makes you?

 

Not. So. Bright.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Muck! Well you did it, you got married. I didn't believe you would until I saw the video and the guy. You looked happy and your family was excited for you. Honestly I felt like I got kicked in the nuts and it was a desperate pain. Just wanted someone to talk to about it but that would be a waste of time. What could anyone say??

 

Don't feel like running or anything physical. Just another level of pain.

 

According the time stamp, you've been married almost two weeks. I'm happy for you but I miss the girl I knew. I miss her alot and that's all I can do. I friggin miss you and I wish I was over this.

 

Damn this is so mucked up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As time passes - 6.5 months now - I have come to realize some things.

 

I'm smart. I'm funny. I'm pretty. I'm sexy. I'm loving. I'm patient. I'm thoughtful. I'm articulate. I'm honest. I'm trustworthy. I'm hardworking. I'm generous. I'm compassionate. I'm insightful. I'm devoted. I'm kind. I'm cuddly. I'm sweet. I'm talented. I'm passionate (if you know what I mean, and I know you do).

 

In fact, you know all of these things. Don't you? Yet you left.

 

So you know what that makes you?

 

Not. So. Bright.

 

I love this post. A lot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

so many bad memories of how you showed you never really cared keep flashing up.... times when you should have looked after me and been by my side but you weren't. but it doesn't make me angry and want to move on, just makes me sad that you didn't actually treat me as well as i thought you did... that i was delusional. im not even sure why you were with me for so long

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Knowing we were broken up was one thing but now two months later accepting it is a totally different ball game. Yesterday when I first realised I was accepting reality I felt good, because I felt like I was making progress, but today.... Today I feel completely helpless, I know this will take time but im so sick of always coming back to feeling like this. I havnt cried in a week but now I feel hysterical. I hate this. I want to hate you but I just really want to be in your arms right now. Argh!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As time passes - 6.5 months now - I have come to realize some things.

 

I'm smart. I'm funny. I'm pretty. I'm sexy. I'm loving. I'm patient. I'm thoughtful. I'm articulate. I'm honest. I'm trustworthy. I'm hardworking. I'm generous. I'm compassionate. I'm insightful. I'm devoted. I'm kind. I'm cuddly. I'm sweet. I'm talented. I'm passionate (if you know what I mean, and I know you do).

 

In fact, you know all of these things. Don't you? Yet you left.

 

So you know what that makes you?

 

Not. So. Bright.

 

This resonates with me so much. Stealing it for my healing process!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As time passes - 6.5 months now - I have come to realize some things.

 

I'm smart. I'm funny. I'm pretty. I'm sexy. I'm loving. I'm patient. I'm thoughtful. I'm articulate. I'm honest. I'm trustworthy. I'm hardworking. I'm generous. I'm compassionate. I'm insightful. I'm devoted. I'm kind. I'm cuddly. I'm sweet. I'm talented. I'm passionate (if you know what I mean, and I know you do).

 

In fact, you know all of these things. Don't you? Yet you left.

 

So you know what that makes you?

 

Not. So. Bright.

 

Love this, made me smile.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

don't know why but the thought of you finally marrying somebody else down the room flashed through my mind, it will be a long way off and by that time i hope i'll be long over you and in another relationship that i won't even care but gosh that thought hurts! so silly i know i know but still, i'm struggling with the thought you already like somebody else let alone the idea that you'll get married one day! silly troublesome brain

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hadn't dreamt of you in quite awhile, but the dreams are coming fast & furious again now. One last night and one during my nap this afternoon. They've changed in content though. I think I must be trying to find a place where I forgive you. They're the first dreams I've had that actually address the breakup. In both of them, you contacted me in some way post-BU. As expected, I was receptive to talking. As expected, you were still... you.

 

After the 1st, I woke up crying. After the 2nd, I just woke up missing you. I guess that's an improvement.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Even though you're the one that broke up with me I'm still saying sorry to you!! Old habits die hard. I'm sorry I didn't know how to deal with my stress with work & low-self esteem & pushed you away. I'm sorry that when I got low I just got needy and clingy. I'm sorry I pushed you about the marriage thing but it's been 6 years. If only you'd continued to have the empathy you had at the beginning but I wore you down.

 

The lesson I need to learn is to like myself but it's tough. You've been my best friend & I want to tell you how I've been doing & the things I've found out. I've been doing well, actually, despite outbursts like this. I'm learning to be me again & it actually okay. I'm not being mean to myself as much.

 

I think I need this whether we get back together or not. The sad thing is, I think you left me a long time ago and I didn't realise. Which is why I'm posting on here. I really wanted it to be you and despite my better judgement I still love you.

 

And space...and breath..:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm so busy at work lately, I rarely think of you during the day...its worse at night when I get home and I'm alone. I don't really feel any pain anymore about the situation- I'm probably just disappointed with the entire thing. I miss you though, I miss having you in my life and sharing things with you. I can't really say that I'm angry or sad. But the memories are so faded...

 

Maybe I'm just lonely now. I don't know. The dating scene for me has been bleak. I wonder how it is for you? Considering you're like always on that dating site I'm assuming its not exactly going great for you either. I want to meet someone and have a relationship but I still want it to start off the way it went with us...it never does. Its not fair to have that expectation but its like engrained into me. Its just me sabotaging myself in the end though. I know you weren't good for me and that maybe you will be a better fit with someone else...tough to admit but its true.

 

I just wanted you to care, thats all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i miss you. sorry ive been blowing hot and cold - im just so afraid of getting hurt. you made my month. are you missing me? do u love me? a lot of times i think so - other times im not sure. wish you would come over so i could hug you. sorry i ruin all our good times. i miss you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi,

 

I know things hadn't been right for a couple of months, and that I hadn't been the most attentive boyfriend you could have had at time. I just... well... I just can't help but think you've thrown away something that was very special. Something that was unique.

 

It's taking everything I have to not call you, even though I know you won't reply if I do. I just want to hear you laugh at something stupid I've said one more time. But I know you probably never will again. And it kills me to think it.

 

LLPK x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am really not sure what happened, so I will tell you what I know, whether you bother to read it or ignore it is entirely up to you I suppose. I know that I love you. I know that I miss you. I know that since i have not heard from you something happened to me mentally and July 18th I had a mental break and tried to kill myself landing myself a lovely six days in a mental facility (real high point for me). I know I have been out of the hospital for 3 days all sorts of ****ed up because my brain and body have subconsciously decided to "protect me" by closing off a lot of my memories and the doctor says will take time and therapy to get back. I know that I'm hurting and that you hurt me. And because of issues I already have I feel like this is my fault. Is it ****y? I wouldn't know cuz you not around to tell me any different.

 

I'm having to heal from a breakdown and I'm worried about how you're feeling...so selfless of me to take care of others before myself..so here's the thing I'm just gonna write what I feel and you can take it however. The sad fact is I expect people to treat me like I treat them. I would never ignore you for no reason without telling you why. You disappointed me there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The time really flies, doesn't it? I'm surprised that it's already been a year since things started to fall apart. A year! And to think we managed to drag it all out for months afterward. I'm impressed. I really am.

 

I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I'm sure it's because this weekend marked the beginning of the end. I still don't really know what happened... what set the wheels in motion. I fell deeper and deeper just as you started pulling further and further away. Where's the justice in that?

 

I wonder if you think of me. Especially around days like this.

 

I know you're happy. You finally got that which you wanted so very, very much--your freedom. I'll admit, I'm envious. Freedom has not been unkind to me, but I'm unable to revel in it as you do.

 

There are two people inside of me, each trying to crush the other. One of them wants you to think of me, to be sad that you ever let me go, to hurt just as much as I did in the aftermath. The other one wants you to be happy, to find someone brilliant and wonderful and loving, to have a wedding so beautiful that your parents cry.

 

How to reconcile the two?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I always think contacting you is a good to do but would probably regret it. I'll post on here and re-read in the light of day.

 

Although you dumped me, I could see that it really hurt you because I'm very kind and caring. I know you've shut off emotionally from me now cope. I know you wanted to express that you felt really guilty for dumping me because your mum suferred from depression. I'm sorry said you couldn't e-mail me about it because I was too hurt. I don't know if you will talk to someone about it but I hope you do because I don't want it to blow up in your face. Maybe I'm the cuckoo one tho and you know what your doing. Which is why I shouldn't contact you.

 

I really, really, really want to let go like you so we can both be happy.

 

Still love you, hopelessly & silently

Link to comment
Share on other sites

P.S: every little thing reminds me of you. I really feel like eating crackers with cheese but don't think I can because you like crackers & cheese *vomits*. Also, I find tesco emotionally scaring as it reminds me of our weekly shop & getting fruit for the parrots. This makes me laugh & think how odd you are and then that makes me sad because I love you for it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...