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I thought I would be better off but here we are one year later, you are seemingly happy with another girl and I am still thinking about you. It really hurts. Do you think of me when you cuddle with her? Do you think of me as the cute and sweet girl that you never wanted to lose? Am I still the "best girl you've ever had" or do you just say that to every girl? ... Or do you even think of me at all?

 

*sigh* It's just so hard for me to see you with other girls while I'm here alone, pathetically still thinking about you. I feel like the loser. You look happier than ever.

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Actually i thought you were perfect and I had all the hangups, but do you know I think I held back because you weren't over your ex? You said you were but how come you had to talk about her in every conversation we had, I didn't realise at the time, but that's totally not normal.....

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im sorry i went abit crazy at the end there, i had the upper hand but i gave it all away with those phone calls, i wish i could take them back because i don't want you to think of me as the crazy ex.... but i guess its to late for that. i don't know why im considering ways to appologize, it won't make any difference im sure either you think my reactions are sad but justified because of what you did or you that im really just crazy and you're glad its all over.... either way it makes me sad, but there is nothing to be gained from trying to make things right, we will not be getting back together either way so its best i just stick to no contact and moving forward. im starting to think im spending to much time online too, looking for answers is keeping me in the mindset of 'poor me' instead of taking action and just living. im sure things will be better once i have a new job to keep me occupied

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Show me that you're willing to fight for me. You're not just coming back because you miss me, you're afraid I'm moving on, or because you're lonely. Because, if you aren't willing to fight for me, then it sounds harsh but there is someone out there that would be. We had an amazing relationship that you ended, albeit for legitimate reasons, but even after you had seen how I'd improved my life and was willing to fight for you, I was still shut down.

 

It may be just my insecurities but I feel like all this **** will happen again. I don't want to go through this again. I want to make this work but I don't want to have to give 110% to keep you from leaving me, or even have that feeling. I want to feel wanted. It should be 50/50% from the both of us, but right now maybe it should be more you working for me. You can't just break up with me and then always have me, free of charge. I hope you know that.

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I feel more than just a fleeting sense of pity for you now. I'm not going to claim to really understand what any of your actions or thoughts were at the time but I do respect you. I need to respect you and any other person who has caused me great pain, especially the people who inflicted pain on me for harboring beliefs that 10 years down the line, are no longer taboo or as controversial as they had once been. I never knew how much power my convictions could have and that my sense of morality is very progressive sometimes. So I didn't trust myself because of people like you, who made me afraid to be as free and as happy as I am now.

 

I forgive you and I will try harder not to be angry with you. I think hate is poisoning me from inside out.

If you are still the same person (largely) that you've ever been, then I am really glad we didn't drag out our relationship for any longer than we did. I can't compromise on certain things and now, I understand why. I am not satisfied with the world as it is, but maybe you are.

 

To all my exs who knew me before I really became myself--I'm sorry that we had to spend so much time hurting each other and leaving so many lasting scars. That was never my true intention and I acted the way I did because I didn't know how to stand up for myself or my beliefs. That's why I always seemed like a bit of a liar and a weakling who was never willing to take responsibility for herself. Again, at least we didn't end up together. I don't understand your pain and why we have so many differing beliefs but I have to live my own life now. I can't spend anymore time wondering why you're hurt or why you don't seem to want to be happy (at least in my definition of the word). I hope you have largely forgotten any major wounds from those times--because as I am now, I would never mislead anyone into thinking I cared about them when I didn't, or expect people to take care of me so that I can become a 'normal person' untainted by child abuse. I'm sorry that you didn't know how screwed up I really was and just how much I wanted and needed to be alone. I'm sorry for dragging you into any of it. Luckily, we're all young enough to have so many more chances at love and happiness.

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i've been allowing myself to obsess over this all day - not good. so here is yet a nothing message to you. i realise i don't even want to be with you any more, i don't want you back that part of healing is complete, but i can't get over the fact that you were unhappy with me and found someone who made you happy right at the end there. i wonder if it was how happy she made you that made you realise how unhappy you were with me (not that im saying i was super happy myself mind you) if i want to forgive you i try and put myself in your shoes, why wouldn't i stay in touch with somebody who made me feel good? why would i refrain from contacting them just because my soon to be ex partner would be upset? you tried to hide it from me, supposedly to prevent from hurting me being hurt and this may be partly true, i think you were just a coward who couldn't admit the truth to someone who had been such a big part of his life for 3 years. forgetting the details i know is going to be such a big mission but i think only time and new memories will be able to put them away

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Why did you have to treat me like this? I liked you wholeheartedly and always respected you. You're a coward! what we had meant nothing to you. Why couldn't you just talk to me and tell me how you felt. Why just send a text saying its over just like that. How could you want to spend everyday with me then after a week, just let it all go and be so heartless.

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Haven't heard a word from you in 4 days now. Having kind of mixed feelings about that. Mostly relieved because I've wanted & needed a break from your almost daily attempts to contact me for so long. I did ask you 4 days ago to please not contact me anymore so I guess you're just respecting my wishes. Funny though, how I'd asked you that so many times before and you still kept right on contacting me. Maybe things are suddenly starting to get more serious with your new GF & that's the main reason you stopped contacting me. Who knows? Why do I even care anymore, even a little bit? Ugh.

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You said and did so many horrible things - We both got hurt but only one of us gave up. So yeah, run off with your new guy, let me know how it goes. I hate that I still want you to come back because I love you so much. I can do SO MUCH BETTER. Why am I holding out for you? I guess because I wasted so much time trying to be there for you to being with. I really, really love you. Why didn't you give me a second chance? You never told me how you were feeling until AFTER we broke up. What am I supposed to do with that? How was I supposed to fix my behavior if you didn't tell me what was wrong with it? You're so unfair.

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I might not have a man by my side right now, but I have so many people who love me. Remember that. It can be nice to be alone, you should try it sometime.

 

I remember something you told me. You said that if you're not the one, that I need to have faith that another will come. You told me that you don't guarantee things very often, but you could guarantee that for me. Well, I'm still waiting. I'm waiting for someone to come into my life and love me. I've been waiting for a while. It surely hasn't happened yet.

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Three months less than the 2 year mark. . . and finally, I feel fine. I don't need you anymore.

 

I still care for you, we're still friends. But I set really firm boundaries with you, and frankly, if you keep screwing up like this, you're going to end up without my friendship and loyalty one day. A pity, because you have a really good friend in me, you just can't seem to appreciate that, or understand the true worth.

 

I'm very grateful I'm free of the hold you had on my heart, my soul. I do not think I'll open my heart again, some might consider that a sad thing, but not me. It's a freeing feeling......I can love whom I choose, but my heart is mine now.....it belongs to no one. Makes me feel strong.

 

I do want you to be happy K. Just not at my expense. xx

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I feel like an evil person for saying this.....but I really hope you get a taste of your own medicine x 10 with your new gf. I hope she goes back to her exbf. And when she goes back to her exbf, I hope you hit rock bottom again and stay there for a long time.

 

you have hurt a lot of women in your life. you cheated on your first wife and got your mistress pregnant. Your second wife's reason for divorcing you was "mental cruelty" - ummm, it's allll over the Internet. Not sure how cruel you really were, afterall, you guys are back together. you emotionally cheated on stephanie and ignored her when she called you. And you put me through the ringer. You are a user and abuser. And oh yeah, show your dog some affection too. You don't hit him, but you dont show much love or attention to him and I can tell he's starving for some lovin by looking in his eyes.

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I'm just thinking about a lot tonight. Not necessarily sad but just thinking. I miss that feeling of having you there, and when we would go out, we would always be attached at the hip. You always held my hand, made me feel safe, and it was a great feeling to just hug you whenever I wanted. Going to sleep together, waking up next to you, you making eggs in the morning. Hanging out with you while you got ready for work.

 

I feel like you associate me with bad times, since towards the end your grandmother had cancer and passed away. I mean, you got the call while you were sleeping by my side. I tried my best to be there for you and I wish you could have seen that. Seems like you want to forget about that part of your life and unfortunately that means forgetting me too. Now your life seems so happy...is it the drugs? Is it because you got rid of me and now you can be totally free?

 

I know how much you loved my cat, and would be so sad to find out that she has these tumors. I wish you could be there for me right now, I could really use it. I know you would have helped me through it and would have gone with me to the vet.. comforted me while I cried...helped me through this tough decision. I need you.

 

When will you come back? I know this isn't the end, it can't be.

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I miss you, but don't want you back and you weren't who i thought you were, the person I fell in love with was kind and caring, not the type of person that would cut a person from their life with no explanation because it no longer suited them, how selfish are you really?? no wonder you said your ex wife hated you... and I wondered why!! well I know now.....

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You've led me on for so long. I don't understand why. You led me on from the day I met you. I wish I'd never met you.

 

You let me leave my husband, children, job, house, country to be with you. And then you left me.

I know they were my decisions and I have to take responsibility for them.

 

I'm glad we parted so quickly. We don't have many shared memories, you never did anything special for me. YOu are a user of people. I say that without condemnation. You are who you are. And to be fair you never showed me anyone else. I just saw what I wanted to see, tried to make you be the person I wanted to be with.

 

My pain is passing. Four months of agony has brought me to a calm place of sadness. If I'm honest, I was sad when we were together. YOu never let me shine. I was always an accessory to your life, which is why I was so easily replaced.

 

I thought new girl was a rebound and she is. WHat I didn't realise was that I was too. We're all just fulfilling a role in your life.

 

I don't hate you, I can't honestly say I still don't want you, but I can fully appreciate that you are no good for me and my life will be infinitely better if you're not a part of it.

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