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Nynnja
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I really loved you from all my heart, I tried everything I could and put all my energy to make you happy. You never loved me though, all the things you told me were just lies and acts, why did you do this to me? How can you sleep at night knowing that you play with other people's hearts. What if someone did that to one of your sisters?

I'm a person, a human being with feelings. I'm not an object!!!

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I haven't felt this weird anxious feeling in a long time, 6 months or more. I've been telling myself I don't know what it is but I think I do....Memorial Day is coming up, I know you'll be there. I'm okay with that, I don't plan to hang out with you like last time, like the mess I mad on New Years.....but more then that It's that I have this feeling that you've gotten back together with the girl you dated after me. The rebound, the one you basically chose over me last year. That I'm not really okay with. I don't know if I can do a repeat of Memorial Day last year- when I saw you two together. It screwed me up for months. When I stupidly saw you last month you brought her up in passing, you mentioned her to your mom 'Oh yeah XXX texted me the other day to ask where we got that cake from' IDK...it bothered me from then, it was nagging at me....and I just have this feeling in my gut and I know I'm right. To add to this, I saw you both online the other night on that chat site, you RSVPed to Memorial day and she RSVPed as a maybe...and I checked a new picture you posted on there recently and she 'liked' it. I know I shouldn't even care, and for the most part I've felt like I was over things a lot recently. I've gone out and had a lot of fun with my friends, had so much fun being a single girl....but this just brings me back to how I felt last year. Honestly it's crazy and I don't want to seem crazy but I kinda feel a little crazy girl.

 

There is just something about that...you being back with her, its kind of like you rejecting me for her ALL over again. Honestly, if it was a different girl all together I'd probably be more okay with it. I don't know, its giving me horrible anxiety. The thought of seeing you is bad enough. Haven't felt like this in a while, I wanna cry....

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Dearest Gina (name changed),

 

I know you're probably hurting as am I. The physical connection we shared was very strong. I will likely pick up on your moods for sometime still.

There are times I want you back desperately, to put things back the way they were, to augment each others life again and share the dream of the future.

Sadly, things can never be back they way they were as I can no longer allow myself to see you as I once did, rather I see you for who you are.

 

I am angry with you for being so irresponsible when families are involved. If I wasn't quite what you had in mind, the relationship should have remained shallow until you were confident it was honorable to move forward. Remember you always controlled the depth, pace, milestones, future talk and images. If I interjected my dreams or feelings, I'd be met with emotional withdrawal and distance. This didn't give me much confidence in the relationship, in fact, the only way I could influence it would be in a negative sense. The positive wonderful things you controlled.

 

You kept your doors open throughout our relationship. Whether it be your facebook status, your ex Feck Buddie that you kept in contact with, or any of your male colleagues, friends and associates. I accepted your reasoning for it completely as I didn't want to rock the boat. I chose to believe everything you told me like it was carved in stone. This pattern I / we continued until the end of our short but lovely, blind lie of a relationship.

 

I could never again bet the farm on someone whose feelings could change so suddenly. Like the time you dropped me for no apparent reason 7 months into the relationship. Only to return the next day and want back together. This served as another launch for moving forward (as all our hiccups seemed to do for you). Our (yours really) dream of cohabitation got bumped up to only one year from then, down from 3 (when the final child leaves the nest).

 

This insta-dump and crawl back caused the remainder of my faith and confidence leave. Also, my respect for you as a "queen" (yes, I had you on a pedestal, I had to or we'd not have gotten this far). I began to see you for who you really are.

You have a coldness in you Gina. Driven by baggage, abuse, who knows. Its abundantly clear, that I would never be able to rely on you. The moment I stopped being useful, I'd be gone.

The moment you saw someone who could be more useful, I'd be gone.

 

I know not how I allowed myself to fall like this. I was not always this way. I'm just glad I see clearly now and can begin again.

 

Yours Truly,

 

OneSadPuppy

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i think i may love you....but i dont know.....i dont hurt as much as before. its not so much hurt that i feel, its just an emptiness. i hate that you live accross the hall but we havent spoken in nearly 8 months...EIGHT MONTHS! its been too long. Why were you so scared before? we could have been so great together. i hate that you took a lot of things away from me. especially you. i really did like you and for some reason, even after all the awful things you have done to me, i still have feelings. i try to deny it, but i cant. i miss you. there, i said it. i truly do miss you. i just want to be in your arms. no one i am attracted to as much as you. you make me feel like no one else does. i wish you would talk to me again

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I really miss the life we had together. All the little things waking up next to you, making you breakfast, night outs to dinner or movie nights in bed. I miss holding you as we sleep and every waking moment we spent together. I miss you so much. I miss the way you made me feel. I miss us.

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I'm drunk - I'm cleaning up apartment to move out. It's so good to down that special anniversary Jack D.

 

You SOB. I miss you so much. I can't tell you under normal circumstances. I don't know how to.

 

I told you what happened during 2008. I realized that if that never happen, I would never, ever give you up so easily. I miss you so much.

 

this much:

 

[]

 

Smaller than your penile measurement, but what the hell, I just want to get it out.

I had never, ever stopped loving you. I always wondered how things would be now, if we'd still be together. I was wrong to have wanted to settle down. But I just DO NOT WANT to let you go. I never did. That's why I almost proposed to you. Because I loved you. I LOVE YOU.

 

Remember that time when I argued why you fill up Sergey's car's tank full, while you didn't do the same to me? You yelled and said SHUT UP. I AM PAYING NOW, AM I NOT?

 

 

I love you so much. When you said that, my heart breaks. I know you wanted out. You're begging for an out. I know, whatever I did, do, going to do, will not stop you from leaving.

 

I WANT TO BE THE ONE WHO LEAVES BEFORE YOU LEAVE. Because I know I'd die if you leave me first.

 

I don't want you to leave, even thogh I predicted that you WOULD LEAVE soon. You never fought for us. Never. I wished you had loved me even for a bitl

 

You never want to even stay. You said no when I asked you back.

 

I KNOW this is too late. Why do you think I'm drunk writing?

 

Mr Victory, you win.

 

I lost, OK. Ii'd rather leave than being left. i'd rather lose you to some hot chick. You live in a country which makes it impossible to arrive. You do everything possible to tell me how small/minute I was in your eyes.

 

And yet, I love you.

 

I am stupid, but at least I know I am. You, just walk away like your ex wife did on a marriage.

 

I NEVER CHEATED. You ex-wife married and now has a kid. How much do you need to date around before you realize I'm the one and only? I mever could let u go. I never could surpass her hot level. She's your one and only.

 

 

I'm glad you did walk away from what could have been. You never loved me to begin with

 

I knew that I still hung around like some kind of puppy dog. Love was one and only chance.

 

Have faith, mark. You'll need it.

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You're always stressed out and upset it kills me because i want you to be happy. I used to be your escape from that and i still want to be.. I hate seeing you miserable and negative all of the time. It makes me wonder did you really want this? I still love you, yes how you claim to not love me anymore, I hope someday your love finds its way home..

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I jsut apologize to my ex andtold him that the reason i treated him bad was because of you.

 

He's gone. So were you.

 

He's gone, mark. he was gone.

 

I wish I've never turned around and kissed yuou in hat balcony. I wish I never did. I wished I walked away.

 

I wish.

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Memories of happier times are still vivid. We were truly in love. Just the thought of spending time together was so exhilarating that the specific activities didn't even matter. We brought colour into each other's mundane activities. No matter what came your way, you could take comfort that at the end of the day, you still had me.

 

It has been 11 months since that night and life is easier and better right now. It might lack a certain zest but its getting better each day. When I look at you now, it seems like I'm looking at a different person. It is like your soul is gone and replaced with a new unfamiliar one.

 

Conversations no longer flow and much as I yearn to be with you like back in the days, I know that when we meet, our meetings often fall below my expectations. I am not as happy or excited as I thought I would be. Its strange, you seem so distant and I know you feel the same way too.

 

Perhaps in time we can rediscover the magnetism that drew us together in the first place. Only time will tell and although I still miss you from time to time, right now, I know that the person that I miss dearly is gone. You have been gone since 11 months ago.

 

I look forward to meeting you again and only time will tell if it would ever happen in this lifetime.

 

Regardless, I treasure the times we spent together and a part of you will always reside within me.

 

I wish you only the best in your life and thank you for everything you shared with me for four years.

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You're such an * * * * * * * , you don't even regret anything or care. One minute you loved me and the next loved me "just as a friend". 2 years we had been together and you ended it with out even talking to me about it first or trying to work it out. You called me amazing and sweet yet tossed me back into the world for some other guy to now have. Other guys have started talking to me and it doesn't even bother you, all you said was "well, you're single now and guys will make a move. I want you to be happy". We had so much planned together in the near-coming future. I had JUST bought a damn prom dress for YOUR senior prom, had the fitting for it and alterations, now it's a waste of money. I was looking forward to a lot together like your prom, a couple parties, your graduation, this summer and going to the beach with you and your family, generally having a good time with you while we had our separate time with friends too, an enjoyable summer that would've been balanced/fun. I'm not just disappointed that now I won't have your prom, the beach or other things to go to with you, it's not all about me here, but the fact that you didn't even want to work anything out with me, together, and I still don't understand your mindset regarding this all or why you did this.

 

I know being mad at you won't solve anything I do want you to be happy, and I want to be happy too, though I will never understand why you ended it with me.

2 years together, all of which I thought were happy. Til I looked back on everything and now think maybe it was better that it ended. I still want to talk to you sometimes cause I miss you but realized it's a bad idea and would only make things worse and more confusing. I didn't just lose someone I loved, I also lost a friend. But it's time to move on.

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If I actually take a moment and think about what exactly you did to me, instead of constantly idealizing you to no end, it really is just inconceivable that someone would stand for it as long as I did. You had a genuine, caring beautiful girlfriend and you made the conscious decision to go behind my back to find some sleazy girl on Craigslist? How selfish are you. You never cared about anyone but yourself and your own messed up "impulses" that you just couldn't help but give in to. Or wait, you were drunk, right? Yeah because that's never the number one excuse cheaters go to when they get called out.

 

And that was just the event that destroyed us for good. As if that hasn't been difficult enough for me to get my head around...you messed around in some stupid chat rooms like some horny teen, sending pictures and getting off. Should my self-esteem be through the roof right now? I know, I stayed so I guess I had it coming. I could have walked but I wanted to believe you. I fell for your stupid lies over and over.

 

Its time that I put an end to missing our memories. Yes, they were amazing and I'm glad to have experienced it with you but I think I need time now to comprehend how vile you were to me. I guess I didn't want to admit it or something...I wanted to push it away because it hurts...but I have to face it now.

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I'm crying right now and feeling so sad. I miss spending time with you, going out to eat together, all the little things. I miss the sex a lot too. I doubt you do though as you apparently are just happily boinking one girl after another. How could you just toss me aside after 3 years like I mean nothing to you?? F*** YOU!!

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