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Post here instead of contacting your ex!


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I really tried.   I told you from the get go that I was in the midst of an awakening from monogamy to polyamory which, you were very clear you didnt want.   I told you I wanted to work it out with

I feel so sad having had to leave what was our apartment because of you, for the second time. I feel sad we never invested in buying a few stuff for any apartment we've owned, because you always

Ignoring you is getting easier. But apparantley its getting harder for you now. Probably because i am dealing with my emotions. You arent.

 

I have no idea what you are doing contacting me still pretty much every day somehow. Dont you understand, you ended it, you walked away, you treated me like crap, you didnt want me, you found someone else. SO WHY ARE YOU STILL CONTACTING ME! If its for control, its not working, Im moving on. You contacting me is making that easier for me....you dont see that though.

 

Im still finding it hard without. I miss you and love you bits. You will always be my one and only bebe. BUT 5 months to the day, I have realised I cant keep doing this and focusing on you.

 

Im moving on. Please now let me. xxxx

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I hope you * * * * ing rot in hell . You have treated me like * * * * for 6 years, pretend for 7 months to have changed, only to * * * * off and disappear again. Now I see by means of an indirect FACEBOOk msg that you are moving away. Well thank * * * * ing god because now I can move on

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I can't believe how fast these past few months have gone by. We ended the night before my semester started, and now in just a week it will be over. I didn't think I could do it without you but I did...and I guess a part of me feels stronger because I never gave up even though I had my fair share of weak moments. I still have that heaviness feeling in my heart and I'm not sure how to make it go away. I know how important it is to leave the past behind and live in the present but it's been difficult trying to do it. Now I don't even try to fight the thoughts of you. I try to replace them with the bad memories but because I miss you so much and it hurts, I want to make it all better by thinking of the good. It's a strange cycle that I'm stuck in.

 

I'm annoyed with it to be honest. I want this to stop. I don't want to think of you anymore.

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I wish things were diffrent, I wish you had made a choice we could have worked out. But you wanted someone diffrent and not something diffrent and I cant change who I am, because I am good, I have been faithful, and no matter what you say I did and still do love you completlely. Our life was the happiest time of my life. Now i have to find the bricks to pick up that are still mine and can support the weight of our resposibilties while you enjoy your new freedom. Someday, I hope you will look back and see what kind of hurt youve caused. but by then your kids will be grown and I will just be something you dont have time to do right now just like all the other projects.

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So the 20th , your mums birthday , can't call or text as it wouldn't help either of us. It's also the day I took you to Paris last year, happiest and most wonderful day of my life. Sad that out of the 2 of us I am the only one who remembers. Dads sister died too, so much has changed since you been gone. Hope you're ok. You are still missed.

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cant stop dreaming and thinking about you and the baby i love and miss yall so much.just wish you would text already and let me know if yall are ok.after you left,you said we can be friends and now you are not acting like it.anyway love and miss yall ttyl

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Well ive been bloody good recently, hardly thinking about you at all. But today I woke up and realised how much I still miss you. Ive spent the whole day remembering all the good times we had together, like our trip to the zoo and our beach walks in the summer. I keep thinking about what you're doing know, and if you're happy. I hope you are.

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So two days ago you contacted me and pretty much the same thing happened once again, but the intent to hurt me did not come the way you wanted it to. Is it because that I pointed out the truth and your ego stung? You were very much ready to show off the gf you claim to be with yet the signs show otherwise. Regardless, it really is a shame that I am done because I did see your name being dragged around in the mud today by someone that you call your friend. Will I ignore what I promised myself just to show you reality? No, I will walk on. Life is too short to be surrounded by drama and negativity , and I honestly don't want to repeat the same old again and again.

 

I wish you all the love in the world.

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Today i sang my heart out to show everyone who i really am...

I made my father proud.

I made my sister proud.

I made my mother proud.

I made my brother proud.

I made my friends proud.

 

I don't feel proud of the amazing job i did...

But i am proud that i did it without you.

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Hey, how are you?

 

I'm fine. I'm trying to be fine that is.

I had a very bad 2 weeks. At some point I was crying and asking for you to come back. I never wanted you back so bad before. Nobody can solve my problems, but you and your presence would help a lot. Knowing that you are here would mean so much. I would trade everything I have (and I don't have much) just to feel protected and safe again.

I feel very lonely. Nothing and nobody can fulfill this weird emptiness no matter how hard...

thanks for reading

xxx

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Ugh. I had a nightmare about you.

We was talking at a cafe. Everything was going well, but then you LOST IT.

You kept saying, "CONTACT ME! CONTACT ME!"

 

lol. MY BRAIN IS AGAINST ME AS WELL NOW? I thought it was just my heart.

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I had a family lunch today. All my cousins introduced their new boyfriend/girlfriend to us all. I was surrounded by love... kissing and cuddling everywhere. It made me ache for you. Made me want to hold you and show you off to my family. I felt like you should have been here today. But you're not. You're 2000 miles away... and I'm probably the last thing on your mind. You're probably getting close to a new girl. It's always been your style.

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You make me feel sick now. I know you are talking to her. You should always trust your gut instinct. You are a stranger to me. You wanted to still talk and text me but have you?! I'm glad you haven't but still! Your words meant nothing! Your kisses meant nothing! I am tired of thinking about you when you have no respect for me. How could I love someone as spineless as you?!

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