Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[northpickle]

Hi

 

Another interesting day, I have a lot going on at the moment. I went for lunch today with the bloke I met on Saturday night. I was a little nervous, my colleagues at work wished me well, and one guy very sweetly said if he had known I was single he would have asked me out! Haha! He's far too young for me but it made me smile a lot

 

Anyway, I had fun, but it was a little weird. When I started "dating" you we had already been mates for a couple of years, so we went straight into relationship mode, we didn't really need to date and get to know each other. So I haven't really had a proper "first date" since 2005 - 7 years ago!

 

I didn't think of you while I was on the date today. My date is lovely, very sweet and complimentary, easy-going, handsome, thoughtful, interested in me and my life and asking me loads of questions. I wouldn't say there were fireworks but there is something undeniably cute there bubbling under the surface.

 

I don't know, I thought I wasn't ready to date and I mulled it over, it just kind of happened. Most of my brain is saying "Go for it! Go out and have fun!" - but a little part still thinks it is too soon. But this guy, although nothing like you, is probably exactly how I'd describe my ideal man on paper. Not that I'm rushing into anything...hmmm...

 

See, I don't miss you now. But I do sometimes think of you but not in a longing way. It's the hurt that's taking a while to shift, because the day you left me I was still madly in love with you and that doesn't disappear overnight.

 

One thing that is strange about my new date is that we have pretty different interests, although there is a bit of overlap. You and me were almost like twins in our likes and dislikes!

 

You know what, I want to do this. I want to meet new people. It makes me feel good to be out there again. I still haven't forgotten the hurt though. But now I know it feels just as good when somebody else looks into my eyes and kisses me. I used to think it never would.

 

Yep, you hurt me big time. And if you and the new date were stood next to each other, and I had to pick just one of you to hug, I wouldn't pick you. Progressville! x

[Aleina2011]

north

 

I am so happy for you. It's good to hear you are feeling better. Just take it slow and enjoy every moment, put yourself first, always! Good luck! x

[Sparkie84]

Right now I feel angry and hurt and upset but I still miss you more than ever and would take you back in a second. Why???

You probably never give me a second thought. You replaced me so quickly... yet a couple of months ago you told me we were soulmates. It makes no sense, like it was all a lie. Like you never meant anything you said. Did you even love me? Did you move back to the UK for me? After getting your job abroad you realise you couldn't be without me? Really? No, because a few months later you moved away again and got rid of me. Like I was nothing. It hurts to think that all the intimate moments, the special times we shared, the closeness, the passion, the laughter..... meant nothing to you. I've blocked you on facebook again today. I think you already know as you suddenly replied to the text I sent you. It's sad how you have a new girlfriend yet you have slept with me twice behind her back. What kind of man are you? Did you do that to me?! I don't care, i'd still take you back

[Robin2904]

I want to text you...but I won't. I want to apologize for not answering your other texts, make some bull crap excuse like you did about me 'being busy' but let you know I still do care. Part of me doesn't want to leave things in bad terms....but then the other part of me is like 'Why? Why do you even care?' I mean it's true, what's the point of being on good terms? Being friendly. Clearly you want a friendship or something...and I don't. I can't be your friend. I've said it to you multiple times, but yet I always go back on that because some times a little voice in me says 'I'd rather have you in my life as a friend then as nothing' but inside I know that's not true. It's really tough to be 'friends' with you....I think I'd rather be nothing. Maybe not enemies, though I do like it better when I'm hating you because then I don't miss you....but just- nothing. Nothing to each other, not in each others lives in any way, shape or form. No texting every now and then...certainly no seeing each other, no emailing with your mom on holidays. Just nothing. It's the way it should be and I know it.

 

Still though it sucks....

[marconi68]

Finally !!! I am now getting over you and healing nicely, and its gathering momentum! What a fantastic feeling. Only a little while ago i thought i would be stuck in the dark place forever. But not now!

You were very cruel when we were together. The words you used about me were beyond human decency. I HAVE NEVER BEEN TALKED TO LIKE THAT BY ANYONE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE- EVER. I still can't believe it now. And how cold your heart was when we finished. What a lucky escape! User and abuser.

Now i am stronger, and i see light away from your darkness. You can wallow in your own misery now- instead of trying to do that to me.

I wish you happiness but knowing your expectations and how you treat people, even your own family, i'm not so sure you will find it. But now i don't care.

[Crumbs]

I haven't posted in this thread in ages. But, I don't feel like contacting you anymore. It feels absolutely wonderful to go a day, multiple days, sometimes a week without having you pop into my head at all. And when you do, there's no pain, mostly a "oh yeah, her" type of feeling. I finally feel "free" strangely enough. It feels amazing and the last time I wrote one of these, I would've given my left arm to be in your life. Now? HA! Hope life's good for you too...

[Melting]

Today has been the first day in 6mths that I could say I feel "content". I am hoping that it is just not a today thing.

 

I saw you several times today, we said hello, smiled and that was it...... I felt good, not the nervous, anxious wreck I have been for the last few months and you know why I think that is? I believe I have let you go, I have freed you, I have given up hope.... and it feels great!

 

I still do think of you often, but it is not an "us" thinking or dreaming of what could have been. Maybe I have just had a good reality check... Oh and NC has definitely helped.

 

Please let us keep it this way, so I can go back to being the beautiful, peaceful person that I am.

[Zack808]

Yesterday was the roughest since we BU 5 weeks ago. I was just so emotionally hurt. But today was a better day. Today was a good day to be alone. Sure you were in my head but didn't have that overwhelming feeling when I thought about you. Am I the only one that hurts or do you hurt too? Guess i'll never find that out. Have you found someone to fill up that empty void? Does he know what he is in for? If you did find someone, I doubt he knows what lies ahead hehe....I used to count the days, now I count the weeks, then months, soon no more counting. I still wish I could have the dog back though, I truly miss him. As for you, I miss the person that I fell in love with in the beginning, not the true person that you really are. I don't hate you at all. I was just mad that you could say such things and hold a grudge against my daughter like that. Yes, I had emotionally checked out before the BU, I just didn't see a future for us anymore. I know I deserve better but this time I won't look for it. Hope all is well for you.

[blueplanet22]

Hate you guts, you make me want to vomit that you could throw away something rather lovely, for your boring existence, you were happy with having a life until you got scared. Commitment phobe. Don't come crying back to me. PIG

[secondchance67]

Last night, as I laid in bed, I let you go.....I said goodbye to you, the you i fell in love with, and the you that i didn't know anymore at the end of us...I cried for the last time ....cried over what we had, what our future was supposed to be, cried over the loss and emptiness you have left in my soul.

I gave up hope on your return.

I am wasting myy life on someone who doesn't give me a second thought....I am no longer in your world...i must take back my thoughts, and not let you control me without even being in my life.

I accepted that "it is what it is"....you have your reasons, your decision is apparently final some 6 weeks later.

In time, my heart will love another.

For now, it sits idle, releasing the memory of you, healing, and waiting to give again.....

[Yoruame]

I'm surprised that I've lasted this long without contacting you. Last month was very hard, as I knew it would be. Despite everything that has happened, which one should just turn from and never look back, there were still moments where the urge to contact you was so strong, particularly when I checked on you (knowing I shouldn't, yeah) and saw that you didn't seem to be doing so well. At least you've always been surrounded by friends to get you through hard times though, while I always have to deal with things on my own. I guess that made me feel a little less sorry for you. Seeing you got rid of your account though, I'm not sure how to feel about that. It's relieving and sad at the same time. Relieving because...it will help both of us move on. Sad because...part of me will always wish it didn't have to be this way. All things aside though, I really do hope this is a turning point in both of our lives and that now we can go on to peace and accomplishment in both of our lives. I do wish you the best.

[soybeans]

I went on the date last night. It went better than I expected. He is everything you are not. At this point, I don't know where it will go and I know (based on OUR first date) that people can be good at putting on a facade. So I'm giving it time obviously. I don't want you back and for the first time since the BU I truly mean that.

 

Good riddance.

[Maverick1984]

It was all for the best out of love?

 

Somehow, i can't see how abandoning someone you love makes everything ok...

 

Maybe finding my own way to be happy by being selfish and not desire it from you, regardless of how you feel about me is the best thing to do.

 

Maybe doing the typical thing like f***ing and chucking you and ignoring your calls would have been a better idea... Perhaps you would have appreciated me more.

 

You were right, we do have a different way of walking. I wouldn't have been as heartless to leave you after seeing you travel thousands of miles and bare the cold just to be with me, only to dump you a week later and replace you with the freedom of having random flings with girls for the sake of fun.

 

Before you even attempt to deny any of this. I've seen the pictures. Don't ask how i've seen them. I just have. I'm not as gullible or as clueless as you think i am. So please do me a favour and walk away. It's the best for the both of us. I really don't want to go through with all of this again. My life is finally back on track, and the last thing i want is for someone to come in and completely ruin it for me. Something which you clearly demonstrated... Your love was really never there to begin with. Otherwise, you wouldn't have done what you did.

 

It's now clear that we both have completely different values.

 

I wish you all the best with your future antics.

 

Take care

[Melting]

Umm.... don't really have anything to say to you today, just wanted to post incase I mess up today and contact you instead.

[hodgeheg]

I have realised tonight that I don't love you anymore.

 

You told me I wouldn't always love you, as happy as I am, it does p*ss me off a little that you were right.

 

I feel like running down the street shouting this at the top of my voice. I think it might be best if I just stick to posting here instead!

[MissieP]

Good for you! I bet it feels like a giant weight has been lifted off your shoulders! I wish I could say the same but i still like him even though he was a total d-bag. Go figure that one......... I just want to get over you and wish karma would finally slap you in the face and keep slapping you in the face because you do not mess with a nice girl and not get burned. Karma will come one day I hope.....

[quirky]

Gawd...I am really holding back from contacting you tonight. I miss you. You, us, our random quirky things. It takes so much strength now to stay away. I know you were just stupid, I actually understand you. Which makes me wonder if I have too much understanding or if I am addicted to you. Wish we could play on the xbox like we did. Or go to the things we like. Could I just be your friend I wonder..I don't know how to keep you away after I heard you crying the way you did. Very difficult.

[secondchance67]

i would love it if i got a text or email from you....or if my phone rang and it was your number on the screen.

i would love to hear your voice...see you written words.

 

i would also love it if you fell into a wood chipper on the side of the highway....or mauled by a tiger that got loose from the zoo.

 

i would read and delete that text or email....the phonecall would go to voice mail...i would listen to it ONCE, then delete it.

 

You don't get to have a place in my life anymore - you lost that privilege when you lost me......

[Zack808]

I hate it that I miss you right now. Yesterday was good, peaceful, and it seems you took over my head almost the whole day. Is it because I check on you FB to see if you are at least hurting too? And I see nothing, not even an inkling that you are hurting. I hate that I can't stop looking at your page. I stopped for a good week then I just had to check. I thought maybe if I saw with someone else, anything, would have just slapped me in the face but it seems you are living your life normally. I'm the one who left for god's sake. I wish I wasn't feeling this way. Why does it have to hurt? I left you because of the way you are, emotionally abusive. Yes, I remember all the things you said about me, to the last word. It would be nice if I just got an "I'm sorry for what I put you through" text or email. I feel if you did that then it would be easier to move on, heal. No remorse from you, after all I did for you. You just sucked the life right out of me and I let you do it. After all this, I hate the fact that the I miss you.....ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!

[secondchance67]

As i sit here in the silence you created when you left me 38 days ago today, a small voice inside me keeps saying " hold on a little longer old heart, don't give her up just yet"

 

And my old heart gives in every time.....and another day passes when i hold onto your memory....and its starting to wear thin.

 

My mind wants you gone...erased...vanquished ...eradicated.

 

My heart wants you here...close...wrapped in my arms or snuggled up close to me in the flannel sheets of the bed we made our getaway from the world....where we dreamed our dreams...laughed..made love...grew and intertwined into each other in our private world...where the darkness was our friend...the quiet nights our companion.

 

Now that bed is cold...it's a vile thing...i grow to hate it more each day....the bed is no longer a sanctuary for me, but a daily prison to remind me each night as i crawl into its cold sheets that you are indeed gone...this is indeed real...and i am indeed alone....the darkness taunts me...the quiet is deafening.

 

I look for your face in mind...i am starting to have a hard time remembering all the details i memorized so many times while you slept next to me....i mentally traced your face, the slope of your nose...the fullness of your lips so many times that i would never think i could forget the beauty that was your presence there...in our bed, our safe haven....your glow...your light...it was my happiness.

 

Now i struggle to remember....it tears at my soul that you are fading so soon...but my mind is telling me its time ....time to let go....time to put you to bed one last time in my mind, a dream to dream one last time...as i close my eyes tonight...i will do it knowing that tomorrow your face..its symmetry...its beauty...will be less clear than today...or yesterday....and i will allow this...for my release from this dream...this never-ending heartache....must come for me to love again...to live again...to be me again.....

 

I wish so badly I could watch you sleep one last time, my beautiful angel....my love for always...the owner of this old heart.....

[soybeans]

I can say with full confidence that this past month has been one of the worst months of my life. But...I'm still going strong and refuse to give up. I almost feel bad for not thinking of you as much now. Why? It was like my sick way of holding on to you. You're GONE. There's no point in you being on my mind or having any kind of effect on my moods anymore. Maybe the first week, but now it's just ridiculous to be so sad. I have so many emotions going on while I'm trying to heal from this then at the same time moving on to someone new. I don't see why I should mope around when there are guys out there who are willing to treat me better than you did. And who are BETTER THAN YOU. I can't believe how much I settled for with you. It's actually laughable how pathetic you are.

 

BYE.

[gardnergirl2]

First of all secondchance, that was beautiful... Sad, but beautiful. I hope some man feels that way about me one day. Now, to my ex,

 

I miss you every hour of the day and I wish I didn't. I almost cried in the grocery store. My dad is in the hospital, but of course, you don't know that. Those are the things I would tell you if we were speaking. You are busy speaking to the new girl I am sure. The one who meets none of your standards, but all of the sudden, that is perfectly ok. I never thought you would hurt me the way you have. I never thought you would be as cold as you are . I don't know now since we don't speak. You had a good woman; you know it and I know it. My ex husband was here Sunday to see out son, and you know what he said? That you, like him, will regret it later. To hear this from him meant a lot to me.....and you know what? I believe he is right.....

[Zack808]

Yeah so what if your a pharmacist. I took my pharmacy class exam today without your help. I didn't need you. I could have gotten 5 more points with your help if you were still in my life but those are 5 points worth giving up. I did it without you and determined to Ace this class without you. Your a pharmacist, so what, I'm free from you. Now go OD on some laxatives!!! You won't bring me down, and you won't take over my mind. You maybe taking up space in my head but I'm serving you 'VACATE THE PREMISES' real soon.

[nrb]

Good for you! I bet it feels like a giant weight has been lifted off your shoulders! I wish I could say the same but i still like him even though he was a total d-bag. Go figure that one......... I just want to get over you and wish karma would finally slap you in the face and keep slapping you in the face because you do not mess with a nice girl and not get burned. Karma will come one day I hope.....

 

Karma...hopefully will take care of all those careless people...

[dbhustla]

i woke up with you on my mind and heart, i feel pretty weak right now, but i will not break down. as i sit here with my thoughts and re-evaulate the situation and think of our past , out of the 6 yrs i was with you i cant remember a time where we were happy for more than 2-3 months.you always brought your ex into our relationship and was unfaithful to me. but what you never knew was evertime you walked away i expected you too so i ended up adding atleast 8 new partners to my list just so when you walked out you didnt have one up on me. SORRY. you always picked up and left, and never was i as hurt as i am now strange enough. i always knew you werent the one but me being so attracted to you always made me cave in and "try" to work things out. you told me you cant do this anymore because you cant let go of our past, which is the end result of you letting us go thats pretty ironic. but now im starting to understand exactly what you mean by that because now i am sitting here and even though your with somone new, i cant get over our past, even if you were willing to work it out i dont think i could, i rather go threw this healing process. your finally X'ed out my life and even though im hurting inside im trying to focus on the point that you made "our past". it is whats letting me say ok i accept we are not together, good luck with everything... im sure you will need it. deuces

 

p.s. we have lived together and you have moved out and moved back in atleast 5 times, your so hot and cold and really im the one to blame thinking you could change and me holding on, thankyou for making this decsiion for me , as i reread this i start feeling better im not wit you, please fix yourself first before you try to love someone new... poor new guy has no idea what hes in for.