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Everything in this city reminds me of you. I walk past the first place you said "I love you" every day. I see the first place we met all the time. The spot where you pushed me in the snow on the way home. The last time we kissed and hugged because I didn't want you to leave. Two weeks ago, when you told me you never wanted to let me go. It takes a little away from me every single day and I'm not sure how long it's going to be before everything's gone. When I'm not feeling absolutely nothing at all, I feel devastated and empty and lost. You kept me going. I kept you going. And then you just gave up. I never thought that you'd be the one to give up. I never thought for a second that I'd be the one left in the dust with a broken heart and feelings that I have no future. I keep trying to remind myself. In a few years, you'll be in Africa or Asia, you'll be saving the world. Before you, I never wanted a family or kids or to settle down. I wanted to travel and save the world. You persuaded me. You made me fall in love with the idea of settling down and now I can't get it out of my head. You made me want you so badly and then took yourself away. I don't even think you feel any regret, that's what hurts so damn much. Do you even care? Why don't you want me anymore? And how did this all happen so fast? I'm going to fail every exam thanks to you. I've worked my whole life to get here but because of you, all I can think of is that I worked my whole life to get to you and now you're gone. I want this pain to end so badly and it's getting harder every day to remember to remind myself of all the things I still have to live for. Come back to me... please... I still love you.

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Lately I have been obsessing over you. I try not view your profile, I have a feeling your back to your ex. I noticed he and his gf are done, what i can only assume is you went back. I guess that you know that he is the one and not me. He is taller and his parents background is more to you liking. I guess i should really just stop hoping that one day you are going to message me. I gotta stop pretending, i don't mean anything to you and i never did. I was all a lie and you used me to distract yourself. I was never worth anything to you, you made that clear. You always told me how miserable you were when you two broke up, that doesn't seem to be the case with me. I hate that i met you, i wish i never did. I could manage much better without you. When am I going to feel better, I just want to stop thinking about you. Why is that impossible.

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Hello People, I am a newbie to this forum, was lookin for a introduction thread I did not see one, Heres my lowdown, my wife divorced me roughly 2yrs to the day, but I continued to stay in the home primarly to recoop from back surgery, we even slept in the same bed 6 months after the divorce,but soon was sleepin on our couch, we remained friendly while we were sharing the home, she just moved out last month so her kid can be closer to school, She is 49 I am 45 and shes in the middle of menopause. I still love her alot and she does not in return, she wont tell me her address or give me the landline, we stay in contact only thru text or her showing up unannounced. I am having a very hardtime dealing with her being gone, and the impulse to contact her is strong but I have not done so, anyway thats my deal...Dylan67

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I finally blocked you from FB yesterday. My best friend told me I should, because I could see your stupid comments and likes on a few mutual friend's things and it was driving me crazy. Also.....I really have a hunch you went out with her. A mutual friend of ours. I didn't meant to snoop, but I saw her FB status about going to spend time with someone special after a hard day. And YOU were the only male to like that post. And latley you have been liking and commenting on ALL of her posts! I knew it was you. It hurt. It gave me a panic attack. Been a long time since I felt one of those. It probably has bothered me more because she was a friend of mine. Though not through you, we just happened to both be friends with her....small circle of people we knew and all....but I hated it. I would be fine it being some random girl. Like the girl you dated after me, Though seeing you two together made me feel FAR from fine....but at least it wasn't someone I knew and LIKED! Ugh I like this girl! She's really nice to me I feel like a crappy person for having anger to her- she's always been super duper nice to me! I just hope you two don't begin dating. I know that will really bother me. I mean she IS a lot more attractive then your ex in my opinion....but still this girl is much older then you. Probably like 8 years if not more. I know your mom would have a heart attack. First you date a girl with a baby, now your going to date this girl....IDK....I'm trying NOT to be a petty biatch!

 

Anyway I took her off of my newsfeed. I didn't have the heart to delete her. Not since she's still friends with SO many of my mutual friends...it would just make things weird. Facebook you truly are the devil! I just hope when I see her around at events now your not around with her. That would just make my life so awkward and bad. And now I see you may go to the New Years event. Lovely. I have decided I am just going to pretend like your not there. I doubt very highly you'll say anything to me, so I just plan to act as if your not there. I'm hoping I hate a date too. That would be VERY good! It's awful that I want to rub it in your face...but I want you to see how it feels. How AWFUL I felt Memorial Day when you were there with your ex. Then again its been obvious you don't care so I doubt you'll even be effected. Ugh I'm wondering if New Years if just going to be one big awful mistake since that was OUR day. Even at those events. Where we first were together as a couple. New Years Eve was our holiday. This year would have been our two year. Instead I'm celebrating our 'one year break up' nice. Ugh....

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Dear Ex,

 

I feel like I'm walking a tightrope today - there was a quiet period at work, I was sat at the desk in an empty room with nothing to do for a few moments. I felt my eyes well up with tears and tried to blink them away. I didn't really cry but the unexpected sadness wasn't good. I was OK again until I walked home - and I started crying properly. A huge lump in my throat and blurry eyes.

 

It's been over 5 weeks since I saw you now, and just over 3 months since we split. I still have so many conflicting thoughts about you, us, the relationship. I'm not dwelling on things anywhere near as much now but I'm still so hurt and confused. It's like you have disappeared off the face of the earth too, and sometimes it seems like that's harder to deal with than the LC period was. I just don't know...It's like I don't know you any more and that's so bloody painful. I'm crying again...

 

I try and fight these thoughts every day - my mind will flash to a certain time we spent together and "how did you feel about me then?", "and then?" - that kind of thing. But I do stop myself. What does it matter now? And the only, get this, ONLY time you told me you loved me without me saying it first (which I only did a few times anyway) was a few weeks before we split up. Completely out of the blue. I remember exactly where that was, which part of the pavement and I walk down that very same stupid pavement every day when I go to work now. THAT'S how much you meant to me, the fact I remember stuff like that and every day it still stings.

 

* * * * it, what does it matter what I feel anyway? You're happy in your cave hiding away I assume. I'd like to be gracious enough to thank you for the good times but if they weren't good for you then that's just an awful thought I'm trying not to take on board. That's the thing though, isn't it? I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what ever went through your head?!

 

I * * * * ing love you I wish I didn't and I'm so wound up tonight it's a fine line between love and hate. I'm still a long way from solid indifference.

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I am exhausted and a bit stressed out and it's making me feel quite emotional tonight. I could really do with a hug and a chat, but there's no one around for either right now. It's not that I'm even vaguely tempted to contact you, but because I feel quite lonely I'm reminded of how nice it was to have someone to come home to.

 

Here's hoping for a decent nights sleep tonight.

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I just heard Adele 'someone like you'..... * * * * ....the tears are just streaming down my face. I've tried to avoid it for 4 months. Remember when that song came on in the car and you cried, saying you couldn't bear to think that would ever be us?? And I cried beside you in your car because I was so so afraid of that day and through relief of not seeing that as an option. It wasn't working out and we both knew it but we both didn't want it to come to this. God I love you. That song is Satan and I am never ever listening to it again. Pain

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Hi honey... I just wanted to tell you, Thank you for saving my life. I fought alcoholism so hard while with you. I couldnt stop. Ohhh, God I want to call you, email or write you a letter telling you. Its been 116 days since I've had my last drink. I owe it to you. You are an absolute blessing to anyone's path you cross. I love you so so much. Sweet dreams honey... I miss you.

 

-Me

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I was at work, and I had flashbacks of our good times. It made me smile.

 

But then, thankfully, all of a sudden I remembered when you told me that you wouldnt support me in my dreams. And instead, you wanted me to adopt yours instead.

 

Good luck on your dreams. I have to follow mine.

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why can't you understand that i'm yours. i can't just stop being yours just because you decided on a whim you don't want to be mine anymore. why don't you get that? we were perfect. a week before breaking up you said i was perfect. that we were perfect together. that you never wanted to be with anyone else and no one in the universe ever made you so happy. you said you could never be yourself around anyone else. you said we'd be together forever. that moving in together and marriage and kids, all that was on the horizon. this was a week before. and then you said you didn't love me anymore. bull * * * * . come back. i want you back. i want to tell you but you don't want to hear it. we did this all over the phone, i never even got to see your face. you wouldn't even let me come there and fight for you. even if i could've come up and seen you one last time, to understand that you really didn't want this, that it was really "for the best" like you said. it's not fair. we were perfect. if you had seen my face you would've remembered that we were worth it. why didn't you want to remember? whatever you did, how am i supposed to know whether or not we can move past it if you wouldn't tell me? you just gave up. said you weren't in love.. impossible. i know you were scared that you couldn't be there for me, but i just needed you to be there. i didn't want anything else, anything strenuous. i didn't need you to solve my problems. med school isn't easy, i know, but i also know i can get through it. i just wanted you to be there for me and support me through it. i don't care that i'm sick, why did it bother you so much? i'll get better, i promise, but who is supposed to hold my hand when i get wheeled out of surgery? how could you do this. i don't deserve this. please come back. please. how am i supposed to want to fight this if i have no one fighting with me? come back, please... we were perfect, and this city reminds me of you so much. we could be perfect again... why wont you let us?

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I keep thinking about our past relationship and all the "what if's", surely it is driving me crazy and making me sad all over again. I wish I had more self esteem so our relationship wouldn't have been so stressed. although, I know it takes two and you weren't very confident either with things you did. I still blame our failures on myself.

 

I was more worried about losing you our whole relationship than actually enjoying it.

Almost four years of that, i can see why it came to this...

Now it's over.

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Dear M

 

So you're seeing someone else. Its all exciting and new and you're texting her 50 times a day right? like you used to do with me. I was so disposable wasnt I?

Well maybe you should tell your new child/girlfriend that you have commitment phobia before you get too involved with her? or maybe she is THE ONE. How amazing for you. Do me a favour? Get on that stupid plane and go around the world like you said you were doing. And take your new bit of skirt with you. Oh you're probably taking her anyway 'cos shes the one right.

* * * * YOU

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Last week you said you might wanna see me this week but you didn't say anything to me until now so I guess you don't.

Someone told me you still have pictures of us and our trip in your facebook and I just don't get it. I'm sure you flirt with other women, that's your nature. And I still have my stuff at your apartment and you haven't said anything about that yet. I'm really confused.

I just wan't you to know that I won't wait for you. I won't. You can't just flirt around after a 1,5years relationship and when once you get tired of doing that you come back to me. I just hope in a few weeks time I'll start to see your flaws again.

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