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I see that stripper 'liked' your friendship on facebook...stupid me for looking but * * * is that all about. I can just imagine your cheap little fb chats...she has always fancied you and you do too..'oh she's funny'...yeah right, get a grip you loser. Careful you don't catch anything. Gahhhh so angryyyyy.

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I feel like I was nothing to you although I was your first real girlfriend, I was the first person you truly loved and I brought you so many good things. I really wonder why you still wanted me in your life after the BU 2 1/5 months ago, how you can consider me as part of your family when you don't even contact me. 3 years must have been nothing to you. More than 1 year living together was nothing. My parents flying from Europe to meet your parents 2 weeks before you broke up with me meant nothing. Your family thinking we would get married was nothing. Your parents adoring me and seeing how happy you were with me was nothing. You would text me constantly, would need to hug and kiss me all the time even though we were living together. Up to 2 days before the BU you would say "you are the best. We're a team. You are so adorable" but it meant nothing. I still have a hard time understanding how you can go on with your life without even wondering about me, without any contact. That is just so brutal. I was a good partner, I was not clingy (you even said during the BU that I was independent), I would listen to your concerns, I would be affectionate and supportive in everything you did. I never put you down. We would never scream at teach other. We had it good but apparently it was not strong enough to skake the doubts of "what's out there?".

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I can't believe you already have a new boyfriend its been less than a month did I really mean that little to you that you can move on from me completely in a month. Grrrrrrrrrrrr I should so be over you now. Not a good morning for me but I know I will keep on going and I know I will move on and I will become who I am meant to become

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I really really miss you now. Not in a "I LOVE YOU - TAKE ME BACK!" way, I just genuinely miss you I have the biggest lump in my throat, I haven't seen or contacted you for over a month now. I have no idea what's happening in your life any more. You could be anywhere in the world but you're more than likely just down the road at home. I've been doing so well, but I'm pretty upset tonight. I hate being a stranger but I can't be your friend and you don't want to be my partner, so this is the only way, although it's killing me tonight.

 

You have no idea how much I want to hug you right now. I hope I'm not going backwards and this is just a blip, a rough day after a much better few weeks. I couldn't have loved you more and I still do. I can't help wondering what you think of me now, whether you miss me, though I'm trying not to. I'm just very down tonight. Take care x

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I'm only posting here so I don't contact you. I hate you for making me feel this way. Why can you move on so fast and I can't.

 

You don't love me. You are completely over me. So why can't I be completely over you. I know for a fact you don't love me but I just can't seem to accept it.

 

I've done everything right. Hit up the gym, been catching up with friends, Meditating, Starting new hobbies, Improving myself in everyway possible, talking my issues through. Yet I can't move on, I've got a great support group yet I just can't let go.

 

I HATE YOU

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It feels like I've been stabbed in the heart with a knife. The thought of anyone else, especially her, having feelings towards you, or worse, you for them is making me feel sick. You are mine and I'm yours. You still have all of me, every bit. If only you knew how much I adore you. This is agony...I don't understand how you can say you love me so much, yet can't make the decision you want me back. Please please don't shatter my heart all over again. I can't take it. I just want to fall asleep and wake up in a world where it doesn't hurt anymore. I'm sick of hurting.

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I'm glad we're starting to talk again and I'm glad you remember me and text me first. But I love you so much, I miss you and it kills me that I don't let myself tell you that. We're both "fine" but I wonder if you're "fine" as I am or if you're truly okay with us being apart. I have a really difficult decision to make. I don't know if I should ask you out, coffee/movies/dancing. It would kill me if you said you weren't ready or, even worse, if you didn't want to. But I know, I really do, that if we saw each other everything would be okay.

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The fact that I will never see you again in my life kills me. The fact that last trip with your family was the last chance I had with them kills me. I miss the good times, I miss how things were. I know everything is gone and I have to move on. If moving on is like a switch, I will switch it off immediately.

 

Please take care. Take good care of your mom and your dad, they are wonderful people who treat me like their daughter. I wish you the best. good bye.

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You know what makes me sick?

 

Four days before you broke up with me, you were trying to convince my friend's boyfriend to move in with you.

 

Why the hell would you want to be my friend's boyfriend's roommate if you were leaving me?

 

I can't wait until the day I can finally say goodbye to you forever.

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Why do I let you get to me like this. Why do I let you bring me down it was a simple comment on my friends fb wall and it teared me apart. God I want to be over you just to move on with my life.

 

I know exactly what I want theres no doubt in my mind but I just can't seem to get my head right to get there.

 

I am glad you have moved on and I hope the new guy does really make you happy

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How can you get over me so quickly and move onto someone else. Then continue to rub it in my face that you have got a new boyfriend.

 

Why can't you leave me in peace to deal with this and get over you. Well at least now I know I did the right thing moving on as you can't have cared that much if you were so easily able to move on so quickly.

 

You will NEVER hear from me again but you continue to message me. Are you just trying to taunt me. I wish I was over you for good.

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Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your hand.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

 

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,

Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the father of your child.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

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Ahh man, I feel like utter rubbish tonight. Can't sleep again. Horrible thoughts running through my mind and I can't stop thinking about you and everything that's happened. I know it's all so long ago now (6 months) and I'm sure you're totally moved on, but I'm still here in our bloomin house, having to pack up the remnants of our life together and it's messing with my head. And i'm fighting the urge to call you, which would be totally pointless anyway because there's nothing you can say to make it better and I'd just be making a fool of myself because its 1.30am. And I don't want to seem pathetic, even though that's exactly how I feel.

 

When am I going to be able to let you go? You are now the boyfriend of someone who, it would seem, over a year ago decided she wanted you and was going to have you. Now she has you all to herself at my expense. What kind of person does that? What kind of people are you both? And still, I am sad over you even though you aren't worth my tears.

 

Right now I wish I could forget that the last 11 years ever happened. That I could erase you, and her, from my memory completely.

 

I hope you destroy each other.

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