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Melting, you will get through it! I had to see my first ex everyday at work after we broke up. The more I got to see him, the more I realized why we weren't a good match to begin with. After a while I felt pretty indifferent towards him. Depending on what happened on your situation, you will probably feel that way too

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I'm really pissed off. I'm gutted. Dunno, I just don't know what the hell happened here.

 

I know you love me, everyone knows that. But you can't give me the kind of love I need, you just use me for emotional support. It's nothing like it used to be.

 

I really shouldn't be missing you, but I am. And you're missing me and you're messed up completely, but we can do nothing about it.

 

While I miss talking to you, I don't miss all the drama. But I would like to tell you what I think about all this and how dissappointed I am that we didn't resolve this or at least give each other good explanations.

 

You're just too childish and selfish. And I can't and won't put up with that any longer...

 

Sad. It's just sad but it's the truth.

 

Hope to talk to you after alot of time passes because I know I must not speak to you now.

 

Meh.

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Nobody made me feel better than you did in the early years of our relationship, and for that I am grateful. Unfortunately, most of those fond memories are ten years old now. The reality is, your lasting legacy to me is the worst emotional pain I have ever felt, and because of that I don't know if friendship will be possible.

 

I loved you without judgment and without expectations for all our years together, but you just pushed me away. I still don't fully understand why. Then you moved away. I never forgave you for that. You showed me that I was optional, second rate, a "nice to have" but certainly not essential. Other people and places were far more important to you. I could never compete. You insisted that I wasn't competing, but the truth is, I'm here and you're there now. No matter what I did, how I spoiled you, how well I treated you it was never enough. It was a competition, and I lost.

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I think you want to be alone until you know if you want to come back to me because you're not sure you want to really change. Your ego is getting in the way of our happiness. And this is killing me. I want to move on but I can't. I need to know if you want to change. Please, please, please make up your mind soon.

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had the worst few days ever

I cant stop thinking about you and crying

I feel physically ill and im only just managing to function

I cant explain it, Ive had 6 months to try and heal but im back to square one??!!! why??

Im thinking about this time last year and last christmas and I cannot explain how chronic the pain is inside me that it will never be like that again

you were so wonderful while we were together, I wish yiou had been more of an arse to me so I could find a reason to dislike you. but I just cannot get my head around how much you have changed, distanced yourself from me and turned into a complete stranger

you are the best and worst thing to happen to me

 

i miss you

i love you

i dont want to go through christmas this year if this is how im gonna feel

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URGH!

 

Just got an email from Linkedin (which I haven't used for goodness knows how long!) saying "Find new connections just like [ex's name] and 7 other people have!"

 

Talk about rubbing it in!

 

I forgot he was still in my connections there, as I don't use it. So will just leave it. But talk about a virtual slap in the face! I shall just laugh it off

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i miss you, so much. or i miss the idea of having you 100% to myself. I dont like these people you hang around with, the girls you talk to, the person you've become. Every time i see a picture of you with someone, out without me, it hurts so much. But these latest pictures, with this new girl, are too much. I know i dont have the right to say anything, because i moved on, but i wasn't ready and i'm still hurting over you.

The hardest thing is knowing that we'll never work out like we did. I'd never be able to come round, stay over like i used to, and i'd never trust you for fear of you going off and doing something as revenge. I say hurtful things to you, because it's killing me inside. I just want to get over you. Still, you're the guy i want to marry one day. I love you. Ps, you were right, i feel a bit better already for writing this

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Why do I allow you to do this to me? To make me feel the way that I do. Why do you still want contact with me? You left me, remember? It's been over 2 years since you left but you never went away. I've given/loaned you money, been there when you were upset and needed someone to talk to. Why do I do this for you? I guess I am more mad at myself for allowing you to have this affect on me. But I'm also mad at you for the way you treat me. You use me, I know you use me. And I have a hard time saying no to you.

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I just realized....my 1 year anniversary on ENO just passed! Wow! Which means....officially one year since our end. Yikes! I remember November 20th last year.....I really regret the way I handled things, but I honestly think at that point after everything that happened things would have got messed up no matter what. I really wish I was in a totally different place in my life right now though.

 

I started writing a letter to you, because I have SO many emotions and feelings- anger, pain, bitterness, all this stuff that needs to come out....though not a letter I would ever really send. I know I would look like a crazy ex at this point. And Thanksgiving is Thursday ugh. The start of the holidays. I hate them! They make me think of you. Every holiday from Halloween to my birthday in January. So guess I won't get any peace until then.....greeaaatttt!

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Why did you say it would be better if we didn't talk to each other and didn't know what the other one was doing and blocked me on fb and still check my last.fm profile once or twice a day? Do you want to know if I hear "our" songs or songs about missing someone? You know I miss you but I won't talk to you even if it kills me.

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This time last year It makes me so sad to think.. I never ever thought it would come to this, not in a millions years. I was such a silly little girl. I feel head over heels, so deep. So deep I couldn't see. I am learning all of life's hardest lessons the hard way. All because I loved too much. What a terrible punishment for such a lovely crime. This life is not what I thought it was.

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This time last year It makes me so sad to think.. I never ever thought it would come to this, not in a millions years. I was such a silly little girl. I feel head over heels, so deep. So deep I couldn't see. I am learning all of life's hardest lessons the hard way. All because I loved too much. What a terrible punishment for such a lovely crime. This life is not what I thought it was.

 

I could have written this It was this time last year more or less that we got some very heavy snowfall - we went away for a weekend and had an amazing time. Beautiful memories. Going to try my hardest NOT to dwell on them this week. Then I have Christmas to get through...I just have to focus on my little girl and myself now

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I could have written this It was this time last year more or less that we got some very heavy snowfall - we went away for a weekend and had an amazing time. Beautiful memories. Going to try my hardest NOT to dwell on them this week. Then I have Christmas to get through...I just have to focus on my little girl and myself now

 

It hurts very much. On this day last year I changed my life for him, I moved away from home. Now I am in more pain than I ever thought possible...going through the worst time of my life. I wish I could turn back time so I could have prevented this.

 

We'll be ok, I'm sure of it...just need to keep on pushing through!

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I love to hear you say you love me so much and I am so special, you think about me all the time and that you look at other girls and noone compares....I love to hear it but WHYYY why do you say it when you know I am here wanting you so much and you still don't say the words...let's try again. What will it take...how long will it take for you to see how much I can offer you and how much you lost when you left. I don't understand...you have a weird way of showing that you love me.

 

I wish to God you would just tell me you don't want me...please, it's cruel of you to keep me hanging on when you know the position I am in. Don't tell me you love me and not follow it up with anything.

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I took a drive today

Time to emancipate

I guess it was the beatings made me wise

But I'm not about to give thanks or apologize

I couldn't breathe holdin' me down

Hand on my face kissin' the ground

Enmity gauged united by fear

'Posed to endure what I could not forgive...

 

I seem to look away

Wounds in the mirror waved

It wasn't my surface most defiled

Head at your feet fool to your crown

Fist on my plate, swallowed it down

Enmity gauged, united by fear

Tried to endure what I could not forgive

 

Saw things

Clearer

Once you, were in my...Rearview mirror...

 

I gather speed from you ...... with me

Once and for all I'm far away

I hardly believe, finally the shades...are raised...hey...

 

Saw things so much clearer

Once you, once you...

Rearview mirror

 

Saw things so much clearer

Once you...oh yeah...

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Sometimes I wonder if you are bitter these days. Even though you were the dumper, I was the one who initiated contact after we broke up and you seemed happy to hear from me. When we met up, I saw that you were struggling. I, on the other hand, was cheerful and kept smiling and told you that there was no reason we couldn't be friends. When I gave you back your things, you were surprised to see that I gave you back EVERYTHING. You insisted on keeping the rocks that we collected together and you asked me for a hug before we departed.

 

And yeah, you confessed later on that you weren't over the break-up. When I think about it, I didn't give you any indication AT ALL that I wanted to get back with you. All this time I've been wondering why you haven't gotten in contact with me and I'm starting to realize that it probably has to do with that very reason. You probably think that I want nothing to do with you. To be honest, I didn't really feel that way before but it's starting to happen slowly.

 

Deep down I can't shake the feeling that you wouldn't have broken up with me if we didn't get into that huge fight where I told you to find someone else. I suppose we both reached our limit and if you didn't initiate the break-up, I would have. You knew that too. I never fully blamed you for the all the problems in the relationship because I know that we both contributed to the death of it.

 

I don't even know what I'm writing all this. I guess it helps thinking about things from someone else's perspective.

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