Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[dabbledave]

Dear X,

 

You've massively affected my life both positively and negatively. Please see the eNotAlone discussion thread I started. You can find the URL in my sig below.

 

FYI only.

 

Best regards,

 

DD

[Philabonia]

Its your birthday today - its been a year and a half since I've seen you. This time last year, I had yet to recognize that I had been made a fool of. Now, the truth no longer matters. All that's left is the reality that you are still part of the best memories I can recollect - I'm not sure what that means in the long run, but it makes me miss you at times like these. Though part of me can never forgive you for what you did, I do understand why you did it. I wonder, though, would you even recognize me today? I cant tell if I'm better or worse because of you, but I do know that the person I am has enough dignity to stay silent on your birthday, though he loves you all the same.

 

How I wished something about the past mattered - I truly wish that I could pick up the phone and call you to wish you a happy birthday; the memory of Boston 2 years ago flashes before my eyes. But, it does not, and I know you are happy. That is the only reason I dont call. I know you have found something better, besides, you have chosen silence, and I dont want to mess that up for selfish reasons.

 

So happy birthday Laurel - silence is my audience, but I am thinking of you. I hope you look at your phone for just an instance, and think of me. Yes, I do want to call, but no, I wont. I love you.

[thelastsong]

Do you know how many opportunities to be with other men have come my way? Men who are nicer than you. Men who are more attractive than you. So why don't I take advantage of those chances? Am I really just "focusing on my career"? Am I afraid to love or trust again? Am I still bound by the promises I made to never leave you?

 

Why can't I just move on? It's just one step forward. All it takes is one arm touch, one flirty laugh, one hair toss, one prolonged gaze... So why do I find myself frozen? Why can't I forget you?

 

Maybe I just don't want to admit that it's really over. I know you've moved on and will never speak to me again, but if I move on? That's a whole 'nother level. It would just feel wrong. It would just be a denial of everything we felt for each other and everything we ever went through together. It would devalue our entire relationship. It would be changing it from "possible soul mate" to "learning experience," from "forever and always yours" to "that one guy that one time."

 

I still find that I just can't throw it away the way you did. I can't just pretend you didn't mean the world to me and that you still don't. I feel stuck. I know I can't go back, but I just can't go forward either.

 

You know if there were anything I could do to change your mind, I'd do it. I'd wait a year, two years, five years, however long it took if I knew without a doubt that you would eventually come back to me. That's not to say I'm putting my life on hold. I'm finally taking care of me and loving me more than ever, but I still miss you so much. I love you. You know me better than anyone else, and the connection we shared was immediate and profound. I've never experienced anything like that before. It wasn't exactly love at first sight, but our bond was swift and powerful. We were such close friends before we were anything more. How can you forget? How can you leave me behind forever?

 

I told you that I didn't want to date you because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Now see what you've done! Because you insisted on dating me and then insisted on breaking my heart, we've lost each other forever. I didn't want this. I never wanted this.

 

If I could do anything over, I would turn back time and slap you the day you kissed me out of nowhere. I regret our relationship more than anything.

[sunwar]

You decided to go back with him although we both know that you're not really happy there. If you just had a bit of faith and patience we could have made it. I pray at the same time for two things: to stop loving you and that God may bring you back to me one day, for good. I am afraid that one day you will eventualy stop loving me. I am afraid that I won't be able to stop loving you. In you I saw the girl of my dreams and the future mother of my children. I miss you, but I won't bother you anymore.Perhaps you were too good to be true. How can I stop myself from hoping that one day....maybe...but deep down, I know that it's really over. And it's killing me. Because I don't know who will be able to replace you in my heart. I fear the days and months to come, knowing that you will not be part of my life again. It is the deepest feeling of emptiness I've ever felt. It is like looking into abyss. And you probably don't feel anything close to that. Jesus, how long do I have to suffer like this?

[1guygirl]

so i didnt block you because i had no reason to. i havent stalked your profile and have no desire to. but then your little face kept popping up at the side of my profile "people i may know" ....oh i know you, and in some ways i wish i didnt. i think also you must have seen me pop up in same way...and then you vanished from top of that "see all" list...i guess you removed me too, for your own reasons.

 

anyhoo, its about me now and i reblocked you and deleted EVERY email/fb message/forum private message you ever sent me and i ever sent you...not in anger, fear or any other emotion other than a sincere will to heal and move on from you...youre my past...you chose to stay there. sorry but silly chit chat via email does not even come close to being in my life...i am worth more.

 

am a lil sad, in a disappointed kinda way. but writings on the wall, you just werent that into me. and each day my feelings are fading for you. i jus cant be attracted to a wishy washy selfish man no matter how pretty the gift wrap.

 

im getting there...so dont need you to contact me to soothe your own ego.

 

if only you were willing to grow and work at us, but like i said, you just cant be that into me so have the decency to let me go.

 

all the best

 

WH

[northpickle]

I guess your friends let you down...AGAIN!...and that's why you're fishing for my company today. I never let you down, not once, that's one thing I can be sure of, I'm not perfect by any stretch but I was always there for you. I was your best friend and you were mine, and I guess I miss you a lot because of that. But if you don't care enough to work things out then I can't be there for you whenever you feel like it. I deserve more than that.

[Eagles07]

I can't believe I wasted two years of my life on you. I never should have agreed to date you, and I never should have fallen in love with you. The past is the past though, and even though we're stuck in the same town and I dread running into you, I'm glad I know what I know now. I'm glad I finally know what kind of boy you are, and I'm glad to know who you really are, because the man I fell in love with isn't you. You say you want to be friends, but if this is how you treat your friends, I'm better off without you. I know now that you weren't into me like I was into you, and I really hope that one day you realize just how much you hurt me. I feel bad for your next victim, but I'm going to do what I do and continue on with my life. I may live in the same town as you now, but we are not friends and we will never be friends. If I run into you, I'll smile and walk away, because I am so much better than you. Good luck my dear, I know you will need it.

[soundlessvoice]

Why did you throw me away for her after 5 years?

[1guygirl]

jus one of those days where it feels crap STILL...been doin well and then bam...hoping you email .....daymn.....and i know youre not worth it thats the thing......reading stuff on here about asshats and knowing you act like them...

 

so hurt and disappointed, thats the killer, the disappointment....

[thelastsong]

I feel really happy right now. Happy, and excited for the future. I've got big plans, and I'm going far. No more planning my life around you. I'm doing what I want. I still miss you all the time, but the pain has decreased to a manageable level. There are even long periods of time when I don't think of you at all.

 

I'm okay. Five months ago, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm really okay.

[Moonchill]

I needed the shame, I needed the pain.

I need to feel nothing for you.

Now I can forget you , 'cause I'm done.

 

No complaints, I release my claim on your heart.

 

Take care, my beloved ex.

You're a closed chapter in my book of love.

 

 

[sunwar]

Can you really get over me? Is there such a thing as the two of us not being in love? Is he better for you? I loved you and I had so much more love to give to you. How can you not want me if you said you love me too?

[r0ckox]

It's so hard. I've been trying so much, but I can't -- I can't continue to hurt the way I am. I'm starting to think it's my fault, and starting to think that had I done things different, we would be different.

 

But you never wanted that - You had your opportunity and didn't do anything when it was right there in front of you.

You still don't. You still have the power to change the way I think about you and you still do nothing. All I wanted was words - signs that you care, that you pay attention...but I can't even get those. How could I ever get anything else if I can't even get some freaking words!?

 

My heart sinks and I'm in a lot of pain - and through it all, all I wanted was for you to be there.

[Robin2904]

As I sit here trying to put together my Halloween costume I can't help but think....this is where it all started two years ago. Halloween 2009. Had I never saw your face that night my life would be SO different now. If I had never gone home and looked you up and send you a damn friend request on Myspace. I can't help but wonder how different my life would be now...And here I am, two years later returning to the scene of the crime so to speak. I'm glad at least it's at a different venue this time....that one hotel holds way too many memories for me. Every time I'm there I can't help but think of you. You may be there this time, you may not. Your may be with your 'ex' you may not. I'm tired to living in fear of that. The only satisfaction I can have in life now is knowing you aren't happy with her if your still with her. Your settling, its very obvious. I'll just go on with my life as if you aren't a part of it because you aren't.....as much as it hurts your aren't.

 

Its funny. It started for us on Halloween. The last happy memory I have with you at all is from last Halloween. Even though it was the beginning of the end. That nasty fight we got into, how you left me in the lobby of the hotel that night, wouldn't even kiss me goodbye. Had I known back then that the last kisses I had with you were going to be that day, the last time I would be in your arms and be happy and know you loved me too....I don't think I would have ever let go. I would have changed everything that happened. I would have left my stupid drunken friend who would have been stupid regardless of whether I was babysitting her or not, and I would have given you 110 percent of my attention like I should have. I would have stayed with you the rest of the weekend like I really wanted to....I have so many regrets but I guess you can't rewrite history.....Just makes me sad I used to love Halloween, my favorite holiday....now it kind of makes me really sad....

[sunwar]

Oh and,

I wish some day you'll admit to yourself that leaving me for him was a big mistake. And that you'll break down in tears. And by that time I won't feel ANYTHING for you, and I will be deeply in love with someone who loves me like I wish you would. I hope that you'll do ok but be sorry for the rest of your life.

 

( damn, that felt good )

[Philabonia]

I've thought about you a lot today - I guess events like today make the old wounds seethe a little. Oh well, it will be over by tomorrow, and you will be relegated to the past once again. Things make sense when you stay where you're supposed to.

[oO pd Oo]

After loving you with everything I had.

After hitting asbolute rock bottom after you left.

After thinking about you every single day.

After torturing myself with all those thoughts/looking for answers/trying to make sense of it

After hurting like I've never hurt before.

After feeling the pain begin to dull and dissipate.

After knowing deep in my heart that I still love you and still care about you--even now.

After wanting you to be happy (even without me).

After all of that... I wasn't ready to say this until now.

 

Goodbye.

[Melting]

Last night you finally admitted that you have depression and you need help.

 

I don't even know where to go from here. I care for you and want to help you, but at the same time... I don't want my soul destroyed again, like you do every time. I don't think you even want to help urself, which is the sad part, cos only you can fix you!

 

If I totally remove you from my life, the guilt would kill me.

[RitaTrue]

If I totally remove you from my life, the guilt would kill me.

 

Until you totally remove him from your life--you're already killing yourself.

[jjbinks]

I wanna snuggle.. Not a new uncomfortable snuggle w someone. But the broken in snuggle we shared. The sacred snuggle of us. I watched a movie today w an adorable smart boy and I envisioned our kid, the one we could've had. I miss you. I miss us. I miss our snuggle

[RitaTrue]

Ex,

 

What the HELL ARE YOU THINKING?! How can you be SO selfish?

 

You ignore my requests to leave me alone. At first, I found it endearing, like 'Ahh, he still thinks about me'. But the more I think about it, the angrier I feel: all you're thinking about is YOURSELF! You dont want me back. And you know this break up was for the best. Then, why wont you just leave me alone, and let me HEAL.

 

You make me angry. You dont want me, but you want me to stay the same you, even though we both know THAT'S going nowhere. A part of me wants to break NC--just to yell at you! But that wont do anything.

 

I'm sick in the head: one part of me is angry that you wont leave me alone, and the other part is still pleased that you think about me.

 

I'll be getting a new number soon, hopefully that'll put the last nail in the coffin.

[RitaTrue]

And PS, about close friends: them!

 

I shared my feelings with a close friend of mine, telling her how my ex has been acting lately with his calls.

And all she said was: "Hmmmm, I think you should call him. He really likes you."

 

 

It's like nothing I said makes sense to her: nothing about healing and moving on makes sense to her. I wonder if anyone else has had experience in dull-headed friends while going NC?

[Robin2904]

Oh and tomorrow is your mom's bday. I probably shouldn't remember it but I do. Almost tempted to email her and say happy birthday but well it's a little weird if I remembered her birthday and not yours....but still she was so kind to me recently.....torn here. And what if you 'go through her email' again and see I wished your mom happy birthday and I said not one word to you on yours? Kinda crappy....best to just leave it alone.

[Liraele]

I wanted to contact you today, but I didn't. I know it's best that I don't, and for once I listened to my brain. I feel like I had a major setback today, but I don't know why. I wish someone could invent an off switch for my brain...I need some peace.

[thelastsong]

I dread seeing you tomorrow. It's my job, not yours. You aren't paid a cent. You just volunteer. I am obligated by contract to go to work. You are not. In a perfect world, you wouldn't go.

 

But the world isn't perfect, so I have to see you over and over again.

 

Please just go away.