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Nynnja
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Dear Ex,

3 days and counting, yes i ended it after 1 1/2 years of coming not second but last on the priority list... so why is it hurting so much ? i fell sick, i cant eat, there is a knot in mystomach and an elephant sitting on my chest.

I love you, probably too much, i have been spending my days with the mantra of "dont text him, dont text him", you didnt fight for our relationship at all, you couldnt even bother responding when i told you how hurt and lonely i have felt and that is why i couldnt do this anymore.

do you care at all ? did you not love me enough to at least value my feelings ? i guess not

im sure the tears will stop eventually and i will wake up one day ... hopefully soon with out the dread of another day thinking of you, with out rolling over and crying because your not there

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You sound like my ex except she left me for another guy. Even though I uncovered so many of her lies post BU, I still want her. It's too bad she wasn't like you and just dumped me instead of cheating on me emotionally for weeks. She always wanted me to fight for her and I fought like crazy when she BU with me and then 2 months later. She's still "with" him and he's still giving her the run around and yet she won't give me another chance when I swore I would change and be better to her. I would be better if I was given another chance.

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I don't want you back at all anymore. But all the feelings and emotions caused by your betrayal refuse to go away. Sometimes I despise you, other times I hate you and hope you pay for what you did to me. And unfortunately, other times I miss you so much and I feel like I would give anything to have you back... even though I know that you are an emotionally immature idiot, a liar, an inconsiderate ***hole, and a cheater. I don't think you'll ever change.

 

I had all the love, respect, and trust in the world for you. I don't think she'll treat you as good as I would have. You both seem to be very immature for your age, and it seems like she's just as pathetic and mediocre as you are. You're perfect for each other. I guess that's why you went back to her. I'm glad you're her problem now and not mine. You're not a man. You are a coward and a horrible human being.

 

This is awful and I wish nobody had to go through this.

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You sound like my ex except she left me for another guy. Even though I uncovered so many of her lies post BU, I still want her. It's too bad she wasn't like you and just dumped me instead of cheating on me emotionally for weeks. She always wanted me to fight for her and I fought like crazy when she BU with me and then 2 months later. She's still "with" him and he's still giving her the run around and yet she won't give me another chance when I swore I would change and be better to her. I would be better if I was given another chance.

 

i never cheated on him, i love this man more than i would like to, i BU with him with a lot of regret but as its seems it hasnt fazed him in the least. we had discussed our issues recently and he admitted he treats me badly and said he would try to change but reverted back with in a month, maybe im selfish but i believe that i deserve to be loved freely and unconditonally and treated as a priority, if my ex could actaully do that i never would have BU but unfortunately he is too consumed by his own wants and needs to share his life

im so sorry to hear about your ex, unfortunately there are a lot of women who makes the rest of us look bad, i hope it works out or at the least you find a women who you can treat that way and who will give you back the same love

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I had a pretty good night's sleep last night, the best I've had for a while. Very vivid dreams still, but none too upsetting, although you were there in most of them.

 

I'm not sure how much you believe in signs, but when we had that chat last week by the river, and we saw the seals, the seals that shouldn't have been that far upstream, it hit a chord with me. It felt beautiful. I can't explain it. They shouldn't have been there, and we shouldn't have been there either. We shouldn't have been there discussing what had gone wrong, we should have been there discussing everything that was right! And in a way we did. But we're not together. I put my head on your chest, you put your arm around me...

 

I'm probably being very silly, but it's crazy moments like that in life that you never forget.

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Now my happiness wave is over.. I guess I'm disapointed you declined your facebook friend request. Hmmph why? Changed your mind? I took a peek into your facebook and saw you have befriended your other ex again. When you were with me you did not have her as a friend. Are you guys back together again? Why does this make me wonder again? Aw well never mind, you go ahead. I just know there is something up with that ex bút it not my bussiness anymore. That's what I know for sure. So just go ahead. Bump your head. Or who knows because of me you might have realized how good your relationship with her was. You compared me a couple of times to her and I think that says a lot.

 

^$%*&

 

But it's for the best. Not being friends with you. It would only make me want to play games with you. Trying to get you jealous or something. Nothing good will come out of it because I still have a weak spot with you. That's why I'd be better off not knowing whether you are back with her again or not. It's like I said none of my bussiness I know. I'm just.. curious..

 

Lucky I'm not a cat or else I'd be dead

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I don't want you back at all anymore. But all the feelings and emotions caused by your betrayal refuse to go away. Sometimes I despise you, other times I hate you and hope you pay for what you did to me. And unfortunately, other times I miss you so much and I feel like I would give anything to have you back... even though I know that you are an emotionally immature idiot, a liar, an inconsiderate ***hole, and a cheater. I don't think you'll ever change.

 

I had all the love, respect, and trust in the world for you. You're not a man. You are a coward and a horrible human being.

 

This is awful and I wish nobody had to go through this.

 

Pretty much this. Good days and bad days. Today happens to be a bad one.

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Two months post B/U and Im finally feeling free. You didnt appreciate me at all. I was there for you 100% and I got 50% back. The constant hanging up on me, the calling me names, the controlling issue, the silent treatment for days, the putting me on the backburner, and the demeaning words you'll say is now a thing of the past. It feels good to wake up and not get a text * * * * * ing about your baby mother and all your problems. You were so consumed in yourself, you forgot about that beautiful, caring, outgoing, strong woman you left behind. Im glad you broke up with me because I will guarantee there is no turning back. Yes, it hurted at first, but let someone else deal with your rude and disrespectful a**. I know there is someone out there that will love and adore me and give me back all the love and affection that I give out. I dont regret one thing, well yes I do, I regret staying with you that damn long. Good riddance...Cause Im single again, back on the prowl!!!

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I wish I could say definitively that you are my ex. I hate being in this in-between space with you. I hate that you have asked this of me. I hate myself for allowing you to believe it's mutual. All I want is to save things. But, the more I think about it the more I realize you don't deserve for things to be saved with me. You don't deserve me.

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I wish I could say definitively that you are my ex. I hate being in this in-between space with you. I hate that you have asked this of me. I hate myself for allowing you to believe it's mutual. All I want is to save things. But, the more I think about it the more I realize you don't deserve for things to be saved with me. You don't deserve me.

 

Right now, I'm almost in the same place. Hugs

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I don't know if I would take you back if you begged me, but I wish I at least had that power to decide. I didn't get to pick whether or not you're in my life. You got to decide everything, and you know what they say. A lack of choice and power is a lack of hope. I think I would feel much better if I could reject you, not the other way around.

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It's so hard to accept that it's over, that I'll never have you in my arms again and that you won't ever be mine again, even though I know you probably have cheated on every woman you've been with and probably will continue to do it for the rest of your life. Even then, sometimes I feel like I'd give anything to have you back.

 

It's amusing how love can cloud our judgement to the point that we become obsessed with one person, even if we know that person is a waste of time and does not deserve us at all. Especially when there are literally millions of people who are a good match for us and who would be a much better choice.

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Please don't be with her. Be alone, or be with anyone else, but don't be with her. It just makes our entire relationship look like nothing, like just a way for you to get her attention and make her jealous. It gives me the label of "rebound." Don't do this to me. I used to have nightmares about you leaving me for her. I wonder if I feared it so much that it came true.

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I don't know if I would take you back if you begged me, but I wish I at least had that power to decide. I didn't get to pick whether or not you're in my life. You got to decide everything, and you know what they say. A lack of choice and power is a lack of hope. I think I would feel much better if I could reject you, not the other way around.

 

THIS! Exactly this!! I remember the times I was the one to reject him during our break ups (We had a toxic crazy relationship and there were many tiny little 'I'm none this is it!' moments) but those times I was always the one to end things and I felt strong and powerful and okay about breaking up (Should add that he was always the one to mess up, I never did these things with out good reason)...him rejecting me makes me feel the opposite way. It's been 9 or so months for me, and the rejection still has left me hurt. I think I would have been okay with things if I had the upper hand here but I don't..if I were able to decide and be the one to say it was my choice I would probably be better with things, but being rejected and not having a choice in the matter sucks a lot.

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Our relationship was almost the opposite. He was always getting mad at me. I was only ever mad at him twice, one of which I was screaming at him to get out. Even one of my best friends (who was my roommate at the time and pretty much saw our relationship in its entirety) said he was always getting pissed off at completely random things. Hell, his own father said that he had no right to get mad at me for the things I said. I would apologize, but it was never enough.

 

And these things just kept building, and he just kept track of them as reasons we weren't "meant to be," and the ex he never got over was always there trying to get him back...

 

He never wanted to talk about things. He never wanted to compromise. My apologies weren't enough. He'd insult me for a while at first, then once I started crying he'd sort of shut down and become quiet, then he'd start insulting himself...

 

When we fought, it was an absolute nightmare. When we weren't fighting, it was fantastic. I still just feel like if we could have resolved and respected our differences or if he wouldn't take everything I said as a personal attack, things could've been different.

 

And I'm worried that things are different with his ex. Why am I so upset that he's finally happy? I guess I'm just hurt because she can make him happy, and all I ever did was make him unhappy. I mean, to have the person you care most about in the world tell you that you're the reason for their unhappiness... it's devastating. So, so devastating.

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i was just at your garage getting my stuff and dropping your off, glad you werent home, i dont think i could have coped

feeling numb and empty......feels so easy for you and gut wrenching for me, how do you get away unscathed ?

id like to say our relationship was a waste of my time and i hate you but i dont hate you, i love you and the last year and a half was the best and worst times of my life

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I honestly feel I am getting better, at least it feels like this at the time being. The dreaded weekend approaches and that is when I'm at my absolute worst because I know that's when you're not being kept busy at work. Something about the weekend, especially Sundays, that stab me in the heart repeatedly. Just when I believe the pain is lessening, it comes back tenfold to haunt me Sunday afternoons.

 

I have no idea why I even care. Maybe I liked being the one to receive most of your attention, but I hate being your secret because you're too afraid to live life. Actually, you seem to be afraid of a lot of things, yet you like the drama and attention you create for yourself. How is it I always manage to get involved with people who carry so many problems on their back? I guess I like to be the caretaker and be the one you seek for everything. However, you seem to abuse that privilege and you just plain don't give a damn. Unfortunately your insides do not match the outside. You are extremely beautiful, but what's inside...YEESH! I'm surprised there's even a heart in there for you to survive.

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Im starting to really think I was the rebound. Was I not? Is that why we clicked so soon and so strong. I told you you were my best friend once. You couldnt say the same even though we've spent every possible minute together since we met. Im so angry and sad. Im so confused. How could you tell me you loved me everyday when he was always on your mind? I dont want to be angry at you but I am. I feel used, weak. One day I feel strong and the next day I cant get over the fact that you hate me, you dont care anymore, and that youre happy its over.

 

All I can think is that ive been though worse. I know sometime soon ill know that breaking up was the best because ill be moving on with my life and youll still be hating everyone and trying to F your life up. Guess what? Im doing what I love. You still have no idea what you want to do with your life. I ied to help you find it. But you gave no effort. Youd rather drink and play video games. I hope you find yourself someday.

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I don't want to have anything at all to do with you. You are poison to me because you bring out the worst in me. All of those awful, hurtful things you have said to me are not normally who I am and you only look for the bad things in me. If that's really who I was then I wouldn't have any friends but I do and they care about me. I am better than to allow someone like you to turn me into a bad person. Please never initiate any non work-related conversation with me ever again.

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