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8 weeks today since you left me in a cowardly way, You are really not the person I thought I knew. I am starting to be glad you have left me, Or shall I say, I am God came in my life and had yu leave me to save me from the person you actually are. You were right about how we wouldve been in a couple of years, My life wouldve been horrible with you and you sleeping around. So GLAD you are gone.. Good luck in your troubles, You will not have me to blame them on anymore you low life...

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It's been 5 weeks since we broke up. Today is one of those days when i cant stop crying

I just dont understand why you no longer want to be with me? You never gave me a reason, you Just told me that you were messed up. It hurts so much to not know why. You never even contacted me or replied to me after he break up

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The regret has settled.

The pain has settled.

It will take a long time for me to get my life on track again.

And that fact has only got a little little bit to do with you.


I am truly sorry I hurt you. I know I did. You didn't need that.

"Hurt people, hurt people" that much is true.

Your ex betrayed you. She broke your ability to fully trust in someone again.

At first I didn't believe you really had commitment issues but now when I think about it I think I can understand it.

I hope you can meet someone who can deal with the feelings and fears you have towards a relationship.

I think we both would come to the conclusion that I could not do that at the time.

I'm too insecure about myself to handle your insecurities.


Although the time we spend together was short. Too short if you'd ask me It was a good time.

Thanks for sharing your life with me.


Who knows I might be friends with you again in the future.

But now I will benefit from the relationship-drama-free-time I will have to get through my depression.

Have I lost all hope to ever meet up with you and have that chemistry with you?


But I'm not blaming myself for having that hope anymore.

It feels like such a relieve

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You know what sucks? That even after NINE AND A HALF MONTHS you're still affecting my moods.


Yesterday was supposed to be start of uni break... I was gonna go watch a movie with J, have fun.

Ended up with me feeling crap and walking home in tears. No movie, no food, just me wanting to be alone in my room in the dark.



I am SICK of this. WHY did you have to hurt me that way last year? This is damaged me in so many ways. I don't want this anymore. I just want to be happy. Is it so much to ask for?



Saddest thing is I wanted so much to talk to you.

But that would just make you smile and pimp that ego yeah? So I didn't.




I hate that I still miss and care about only you.

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I should've kissed you there

I should've held your face

I should've watched those eyes

Instead of run in place

I should've called you out

I should've said your name

I should've turned around

I should've looked again

I Love you

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i got new phone and ur have seem to be saved into my memory card...the very first messges when we got together... Its funny one of your messages said that u were happy to have me has a good friend but at us now...we re fighting n were not even talking to each other... Its to let go when you know that i just lost a best friend... You just kept denying the fact that we re never friends...how sad to say the least. I kept fighting for us to stay together but u blew it all away...

No i still havent let go...i tried my best to ignore the thoughts in my head but it all just keep coming back...i wonder how you are...


Do u still think about us?


I hope u realise what you got is gone now..i ve dissapeared from your life and im not sure if i want to go back...i really do want to see you but each time i remember you or think of you my stomach churns, i feel sadness, i feel...cheated. I want it so bad for us to work but i know thats not going to happen...there is still a little hope for me that you would come running back at me... I dont know what ur thinking and it kills me and i dont want to keep guessing. What was it that you feel relieve? Sadness ? Regret? Tell me what you feel? I know that the break up seemed so clear, but i dont believe that was all the reason...


I will never know and i have to settle for what i do know... This break up ive never actually got to reflect on our relationship properly...n i dont want to...

Somedays i really want you back, i dream about all the time...i remember the times when you hugged me n kissed me...only in my dreams i see you...the scary part is that my memories are fading of you and i...i cant tell between reality or fantasy..

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I treated you so much better than you ever treated me...I realize it now!...

I was the BEST thing that ever happened to you and you blow me off...really??...

I think I lost a lot of respect for you and you know you weren't the one after all..

Feels good to finally be able to admit it to myself that I can do a lot better...and you

will never ever have the type of girl I am,,,100% faithful and genuinely woud give my own

life so you can keep yours...you silly silly man...

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All that stuff I wrote earlier to you? Ignore it. I'm perfectly fine without you, and my 4+ months of NC is going GREAT. I can't wait to be completely over you. You don't deserve to be in my thoughts, and you sure as hell don't deserve this love I feel for you. Continue living your sad delusional little life, hope you're happy T.

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I miss how you and I used to encourage and inspire each other, every day. I felt so energized and alive and motivated. This week, bleh, zero motivation for anything. I know my friends and family really want me to do well, and are pulling for me, but it's not the same of having someone special and exciting to keep checking in and being supportive.

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I really like Christina Perri's "Jar of Hearts," but the specific line that makes the entire song for me is "I learned to live half-alive."


I want to get there already so I can really, really push up and feel whole again all on my own. Do what you want, do what you need to do, but I am not waiting for you. I just want to feel okay already.

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God Damnit...


Why has your lovely mother got to email me?? I feel I was making progress, truly I did and when her name popped up the stomach went and i was thinking... "Awww!!! Maybe it didnt work out with ur rebound!" which i shouldnt say cos a rebound is what dumpee's term for the people who left them for someone else to give themselves hope - but i cant help it "maybe shes writing to tell me that you have seen the light, you do miss me so much it hurts"...




She told me she hoped i was moving forward with my life and my heart was healing.


I guess its what she didnt say that hurt more. She didnt elude to the fact that she wants me to hel because you are doing just fine with the new guy you have. - Great.


But in the cold hard reality, it is great. Shatters any delusions i had when i saw her email pop up.


WHY do you continue to be such a fool? so blind...?


but then, but then its not u who is the fool or blind.. its me... isnt it? All u did was find someone new to take advantage of. You have issues and they will not be solved by hopping from one guy to the next. You will fall on ur ass. u simply have to. ur looks will fade, that "innocent" smile wont work as it currently does so well and u will be left holding the baby - very literally. ur a fool.


and i love u more than anything and hate that.

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Dont even feel like contacting you.. I write drafts of email and just save them without ever sending them, i go back and re-read them And say to myself, thank God I never sent them. you are not worth anymore of my love or time. You left me, Now I am leaving you. We had 8 nice years and have no regrets of giving it a try with us. But it did not work out and time for me now. Have a happy and healthy life and I will prayer that you have this... Good luck...

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well it's not like I'm at any risk of rushing to contact you or anything, and this is basically a monologue cause I am thinking of you but


progress is surely being made bc today i hoped your back hasn't got worse from when i last saw you. It sure seemed like you were setting up for a life time of pain and ending up with a body too old for your age and time. You were so blastedly hard on that body of yours. I always wanted you to slow down and take things at least a little more easy. But you probably never will until you are forced to.


So, progress. I am actually wishing you some wellness.

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Hey baby,


I just wanted to let you know how much I'm missing you today.


I feel so lost without you, you have left me empty and broken, I love you so much darling, I wish we were together.


Be happy my love.


Forever yours.


Me x Iluvvvvvvvvvvvvmb

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What the hell is YOUR problem?

I know I'm reading wayy too much of you trying to break NC. BUT WHY?


Do you feel guilt? Sadness? Well you freaken SHOULD! After all you did LEAVE me and didn't even bother to ask how i was dealing with this miscarriage!

UGH. I miss you so much. And believe me i wanted to talk to you... but.... I can't. And YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. GEEZE. Be FAITHFUL FOR ONCE.

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i got the letter you sent for my DD. since you dumped not just me but your step-daughter who you promised you would be with forever even if you and i broke up. you broke up with me so many times and all along i knew it was your fear of commitment and respected you. when you wanted to be with me again i accepted you with loving arms because i saw the wonderful way you treated your step-kid and i believed all of your promises to her and i believed you were the best daddy she could ever have. she thought so, too. she still thinks so! she's too young to understand why you feel you have to dump her forever, why you have to break all of the promises and can't even keep just a few, or one, casual promise like driving her to an activity to spend a brief, light time together.


i can get over you. started doing that with your first "breakup." i learned detachment, maybe too well.


i can NOT get over you hurting a 6 year old girl like this! even with her counselor it's destroying her life!! she's old enough to remember you and what you've done. and now you're the one wanting NC so we can't even go to the places we always need to go. you don't even life in this town, YOU stay away!!!


hurt me, i can deal with it. hurt my girl, you are GONE.

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