Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Jorganti]

If I would have known I would have lost my best friend over being with you, I would have thought twice.

 

I hate the fact how we have a moment and actually connected last month...just 3 weeks before you started to date somebody you barely know. It's just like the last time you dated some guy to get over me when we were just friends and you loved me, we didn't talk for a month yet you broke up with him just to talk to me.

 

I hate how we were best friends through and through before we even kissed, and that you were waiting to be mine for almost 2 years passing up guys left and right...only to date somebody with low standards and can't take care of you.

 

Why won't you notice, when the hell will it click in your head that life is going downhill since we have split. You've faded away all which was so bright in you. I wish you were the same girl I fell in love with...I wish that side would come out.

 

I wish I was the first and last thing on your mind, I hope that everything you do, everything you hear will remind you of me, and you can feel some of the pain I'm feeling from not having you in my life.

 

I can't wait forever

 

no matter how much I still love you

 

 

 

 

[No contact since I found out she had new bf which was...halloween (worked 1 shift and i didnt even talk to her really) and today she called me up about a shift...I didn't answer.]

[Get over him..]

I never wanted this. It will be three months tomorrow that you left me and I thought I would be in a better place by this time but I'm not. I still miss you every single day, I wonder what your doing and if your happy. I am so sick of pretending that I'm happy. I really want to meet someone new just to feel normal again but thats not fair on them. I don't want to use someone to fill the void you left in my heart just like you did. Meeting someone new a week after leaving me is low. Was I that easy to move on from? I am coming home this weekend and I am dreading the thought that I might see you around. I just want to forget you were ever there! I hate you with all my heart!! ](*,)

[dandan78]

Is this my anxiety or yours?

 

It reminds me of the night you first slept with and lied about it!

[WomanWriter]

My sentiments exactly, about L...except in L's case, he didn't become a monster...he became a robot, like in those sci-fi shows he watched. Looking at him was like looking at a shell and hugging him was like hugging a tree trunk. I felt no pulse, no warmth. Just a cold, stiff tree trunk. And, for once, I couldn't even smell him...no smell of soap or sweat or deoderant or face wash or cologne. He ALWAYS smelled like something, but last time, there was no smell at all. I can't believe I spent more than 7 years of my life loving and being best friends with him because that guy is gone. The loving eyes and passion were missing. It's like he became a sociopath...no cares at all!

[fentiger]

I'm so annoyed that I'm waiting for your call! why call me yesterday and when I say 'call me tomorrow' and you say 'ok' you don't.

I hope you're enjoying your new life of freedom, clearly not missing me!

i'm so annoyed how you can just throw away almost 4years like that, without any warning! you say you 'fell out of love' but maybe u were never in love and if you were you should have spoken about it and worked on it!! you chose to break up with me, you chose not to work on it and that upsets me more than anything. you used to say I was the one you were gonna spend the rest of your life with and you wouldnt even let us work on it! I hate you so much!!! but I love you so much!! I hate that you're out of my life but still in my head, I miss you so much and just want to work on it!!

[Zack808]

It's amazing, well for me, that after only 2 months of breaking up from a 4 year relationship you start to realize the things you actually accept and put up with because you love that person. You ask yourself why? why? why? did I subject myself to that...To a point that you just wanna sock yourself in the head because you could have ended it earlier. Imagine the possibilities if I had done so!!! But at least I didn't let continue for another year...For those who are going through a breakup, give it time, with NC and you eyes will start to open as it did for me=)

[dandan78]

God this is confusing!!

 

I'm stuck between wanting to give things another go and wanting you out of my head!!

I want you to fall flat on your face, but also want you to be happy.

I've learnt so many things about you, in the last three months, that I truly dislike but still can't help remembering the best of you.

[90_hour_sleep]

weird. this is just strange. mostly because i kind of know what you mean. i don't feel badly about it...or sick...but there's just this strange sense that what happened never really happened. this person who was such an integral part of my life for so long is just gone...without a trace. there's really nothing left. i'm sure it's a reminder of something...but if for a second i forget about that...it really is just sad. i'd take the sadness over the sickness any day though. sadness i can deal with.

 

to think of all the strange attachments we form. to think of what it was like before this 'perfect' person came along. what was life like before that? was it really unbearable? such power this attachment has over us. and why? for what? because there will never be anything quite like it? that's probably true. what's wrong wtih it though. was there always something missing? did i ever know what it was? if something equally as beautiful...but different...had come along, would it have been any less fulfilling? would i not be considering that beauty instead? to me, the idea that there is only one person out there to love...and how i could have found her at such a young age...seems almost insane. how much of it is the filling of a void. how much of it is pure desire.. compulsive need? how often is it really love? and how would i have known? is it possible to really know love without being faced with the suffering of loss? is it possible that my own desire to have...to complete the image of 'me'...to belong...to feel loved...is it possible that those things are the only part of this that was ever unbearable? was it a desire to be comfortable...to always be comfortable...to never feel pain? how much of the pain of it was a twisted interpretation of my own thoughts?

 

there are millions of people out there. we're all connected in some way. when faced with the loss of one...a new door opens that leads us towards the path of another. how many of these paths are constantly crossing each other? are we ready for those crossings? if i sleep for five minutes longer tomorrow morning, will i end up bumping into a woman who will welcome me into her heart? why not? why not tomorrow? maybe i'll always be lost in my own thoughts...wondering why i can't be with the other...and i'll never be truly receptive to the opportunities that life is offering right now. always stuck. and perhaps...if that's the case...there is purpose in it. if i'm stuck now...i'll be unconsciously avoiding all of those possible confrontations i could be having...saving it all for something else...something for when i'm ready...truly.

 

it doesn't matter how long it takes. it doesn't matter what road you take. it only matters that you acknowledge where you are. at some point...it will all come together. it will be right. the world unfolds in perfect randomness. i couldn't be otherwise.

 

 

[amabel196]

I hope some b**** vomits in your face today at the races

 

Why didn't we ever go together in 3 years?

 

I miss you more than ever today Ricky

[tujna]

My dear ****, I hate you and I love you. You will never know what I am going through because I will never tell you. It is time for me to keep my dignity after so many times you had destroyed it. I don't know why but I don't love you less because of all that. I know I will not forget you soon. Please don't ever call me or try to talk to me. Because I can't bear it. I can't bear to know you are with someone else. So, please, remember my request and never tell me anything. Please forget about me forever. We will be together only in my dreams. While you will be hugging someone else. Also, don't ever ask me for forgiveness because I will never give it to you. I cannot. Actually, I want you to feel the way you made me feel. So unforgiven and alone. I want you you look at our years together and I want you feel the pain I feel right now. The pain from not giving us a chance, the pain from being so betrayed, the pain from understanding that noone will ever love you the way I did and noone will devote themselves to you the way I did.

 

I hope you will be able to forgive yourself because I will never be able to. Please God, just don't let me ever know anything about him.

[itsallgrand]

 

it doesn't matter how long it takes. it doesn't matter what road you take. it only matters that you acknowledge where you are. at some point...it will all come together. it will be right. the world unfolds in perfect randomness. i couldn't be otherwise.

 

 

 

I believe that too.

 

No certainty in this life yet there is. All the questions in your post are the sort of things that haunt me and probably wanting to know everything is one of the things that keeps me in such a weird state. It's my nature tho.

 

I think I know something and then I really don't, but yet do it over and over again and get disillusioned over and over deeper and deeper. Yet it never seems completely hopeless, this sense that if I just keep attempting to love and be true to myself, something will turn out all right, something will make sense eventually. Yet it never does, it goes in spirals.

 

I do feel sad about it. It hurts a lot feeling that what you thought you knew you don't anymore and maybe never did.

[Charis1978]

why is it so easy for them to ignore you or not contact you.

[amabel196]

Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters

It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better

 

That part almost made me cry right there and then

[amabel196]

Ricky,

 

You're probably drunk right now hanging off a womans arm holding her facinator full of puke.

 

But I miss you

Today went so slowly because I wanted it to end

I love you

and I still hold you so close to my heart

[AutumnBorn]

B. -

 

When A. and I were at the school waiting for you to get there for the meeting with Barbara, a friend of hers came over and was saying how she was having trouble getting over her ex. She's 17. They were together for nearly 8 months. She said sometimes she just starts crying. A. said, "yeah, her, too. She knows," pointing to me. When her friend left, I asked her to please not tell you what a difficult time I've had, that I didn't want you to feel the burden of my sadness. If you ask how I am, she should just say that I'm fine and never mention how I can't control my tears.

 

When it first started happening, I told her it was my sadness coming out and when I got it all out, it wouldn't happen anymore. Now, she just says "Mom..." and she tells me a story or just starts talking nonsense about anime to help me. She doesn't know what brings it on. Neither do I. Nothing. Everything. I can't control it.

 

Last night as I was hugging E. outside the restaurant after we'd all walked out and he reached out to hug me, I lost control again. He didn't see the tears, but he knew. He held me tighter, and I told him I love him and he held on until I pushed him away and started walking toward the garage where I'd parked. A. had to know. She's seen it so many times. I wouldn't look at you or him or her. I didn't care that he knew. I cried all the way to the garage where I was parked. All the shoppers I passed saw my pain. The only important thing was that you didn't see it.

 

Today your email, the call, and later the text about coming over with "Pedro" to work on the house...E. told you I was crying, didn't he? He said something and A. probably spilled her guts. So, you had to be "nice" because? You feel guilty? You feel pity? You think I'm fragile? Me? The woman you complained was "too hard"? Does it make you feel powerful over me to think seeing you, having dinner with you and our children makes me cry? I hope not. My pain and sadness is a sign of my strength, not weakness. No matter how I feel inside, I will never settle for the likes of you again.

 

This sorrow may not be easy, but it's easier than the living hell I walked through with you. I made it out alive. You died in there. Perhaps the tears are a sign of my mourning for the death of the man I loved. (Doesn't matter if he never actually existed; he did in my mind.)

 

You, the zombie who was once my husband, the living dead, will be here in a few hours with "Pedro". I guess I'll have to be dressed when you arrive, so I'd better get to bed. I'd wear something impossibly sexy to make you crazy, but I don't want to have that effect on Pedro.

 

I hope P. is making you happy and understands that once you do your work here, she won't have to share you anymore.

 

'Night, zombie love.

[amabel196]

I am finding it so f****** damn hard not to text you tonight. Help

[Hugwolf]

I am sorry I was not always there for you in the relationship. I was there for you more in the beginning but I took you for granted and let so many things go. I loved you more than you think and it hurts me knowing that I did not express that to you and hold up my promises in the relationship. I am happy that you finally found the strength to leave and search for something better.

 

I know this breakup is the best thing for both of us and I have accepted that it is over as best I can. Please understand that I need this space for myself now to relearn how to live on my own and cope with life’s problems alone like I was more than capable of doing when we fell in love nine years ago. You have no place in my life to worry about me anymore. You called my mom to make sure I would not wallow at home alone during the holidays. I found this to be sad and insulting; sad that you came to see me as somebody who cannot take care of them self, and insulting that you show this concern after leaving me. I do not want you to worry about me and you do not deserve to feel the need to either. I am not weak as you perceive me to be. I was lazy in the relationship. Laziness and weakness are not the same. Please respect my request for space so I can grow from this experience that you have made possible. I am moving on.

[miss_sunshine86]

I wish to god I'd never met you, you're an absolute pig and I can't believe after I got past the last 4 years and you getting 2 women pregnant in your "disappear" time, after I got past all that, you would disappear forever because of a cranky E-mail i sent.

I am so sorry what we had was not working it out with ONE discussion and I really do hope you become a professional actor cos you certainly acted like you had FINALLY FINALLY decided this was where you wanted to be. I hope you have a lousy horribe life and what comes around goes around. I jsut thank god I am facing this pain without your unwanted illigitimate child in my belly like those other girls. rot in hell.

[Nappyloxs]

Just want to tell you I love you. Nothing needy. After all this time to reflect on our relationship, I just love you.

 

After all the problems during and after the relationship. All the thinking of our flaws as individuals and a couple. The conclusion is still the same. I love you.

 

In my mind and heart, I know that if we were to get back together, at least on my end, my relationship would be different. There is damage to repair on both ends. But I would be willing to attempt to repair it. I know what I need to do to improve. I can tell you what my issues are with you and what I believe are some of your issues with me. I can correct, some, not all, of the issues you had with me. I cannot tell you to correct yours. I can just tell you what they are and would expect that you correct some, not all of them.

 

I just wish we could back to when it was just you and I loving each other. We let so many things interfere with our love for each other that I think we forgot to love each other. The everyday stress of life got to us. I want to believe our love was stronger than that, but maybe it wasn't and we just grew apart.

[bish0p2004]

Now, I know why you didn't trust me and why you won't take me back. Whenever things were going good, I would always tell you that I wanted to break up.

 

I know that we weren't good for each other, and although it hurts me to say it, you are better off, as am I.

 

While this is what I wanted all along, it still hurts like hell. Miss you.

[Pharm11]

I wonder if you are thinking of me, Y havent u called yet!!

 

I bet u r out, and if i call and find out it wud break me. We always used to go out together, now u find joy and happiness without me. While I am hope alone and thinking of u.

 

Do u even miss me?? Do u think i will always be here when u decide to come back. NO!!!! I am not like that, i need respect. U like to go with the flow, and see wat happens. Wat if wen u realize , i am all gone!!!! and over u.

 

I cant wait to realize that i dont need u, just as u r risking letting me go cuz u want to be single....

[Charis1978]

why is it so easy for you.

[bravegirl04]

youre not my ex...we never were together, but i just want you to know that you really hurt me. you came here to visit me, and i told you straight up, im not interested in just having sex, i really want to get to know you better, and you agreed. less than 24 hrs after you leave here, ur now in a relationship??!! regarldless of if yall really did get together after you left, you knew that you were interested in her before you came here, yet you said absolutely nothing to me, leaving me completely blind to the situation. that is not fair!!! had you told me, i could of had a different outlook, but you deprived me of that. i see you wanted to have your cake and eat it too!! well i hope ur happy, im sure ur expecting me to be all sad and depressed about it, but im not. ima big girl, and ill be just fine!!

[bravegirl04]

this poem always helps me get thru it....

 

I cried over you

Thought I would die over you

Swore I wouldn’t live if you were ever with someone else

But through you I see the real me

What great things heartache can push me to be

I rebelled against my self predicted future

I got over you

Spent many a night crying

Spent many a day amazed

That you could treat me this way

After all the sacrifices we’ve made

Once played the fool and was the leading role

But you play it the best so do what you do

I’m tired of all the pain

So with it I say to hell with you

God made me a woman so I deserve more

Maybe it’s not your place to realize

In God’s eyes, I’m a queen

And anything less than that is what I dare not to be

Be thankful that I could muster the ability to love you

Because not just any woman would have the nerve

Not every woman has my forgiving nature, my limitless limits, my love for love

I laid down my self respect and walked over it to reach you

I swam through the murky waters of self betrayal and drowned in its very depths of guilt

But somewhere I grabbed my life line, they call it courage and pulled myself out

I took all the emotions I had within and built a boat and rode high on the waves

I got over you

It didn’t happen overnight, that’s for sure

It took many restless nights

Nights of giving up on the possibility that you would ever call

In those times of depression, I began to build

I hammered while I listened to your lies

I screwed while I caught you in the wrong time after time after time

I put down my tools a time or two, thinking that maybe my work began to annoy you

But I never kept them far

So what do you think of that?

Never thought I would have the strength to walk away

You thought you had me wrapped around your finger,

That I was so pathetic that you could convince me that I couldn’t live without you

You had me there for a while, I admit at once this was the truth

But all chapters to every story must end, otherwise no new beginnings could ever surface

This charade can not continue, even you know that

So I say no more

But I must thank you

Because without you there would be no “woman”

No backbone to your entire existence

No blessing to your miserable thing you call a life

You will go on knowing that you lost the best thing you ever had

And I will go on knowing that I’ve gained the best thing that could ever happen to anyone

And that was myself

As I close I say goodbye to my former being

And say good day to a new

I am woman of color, class and character

With the capacity to do the impossible, the unattainable the unachievable

And that was getting over you…

[WomanWriter]

L,

 

I didn't miss you today or think of you until E's brother asked about you and I had to tell him that we were over. Then I felt a little bitter. Then S brought up something that had to do with you and I kind of laughed in contempt at your pathetic-ness. I know it was mean, but the feeling was mild and not overpowering. I don't hate you, I just don't care very much today.

 

Guess what? I'm going to be in a play that E is putting on! You wouldn't believe it since you think I'm such a weak little wallflower, but I am cast in the lead role. I didn't volunteer for the role, but the main guy cancelled on her at the last minute and she was desperate, so I figured...what the heck, I'll do it for my best female friend. Funny how I know you would never do it for me, even though I was supposedly your best friend. Kind of puts things in perspective. E has always been there for me and you have not. Every time I feel nostsalgic, I remember how crappy you were at cheering me up. You were selfish and didn't want to be burdened by me. Good riddence. You're no fun anyway. Even if we were together, you probably wouldn't even come see me in the play. You're such a discouraging person. You always had to put a damper on my fun.

 

I'm pretty glad you're gone. I got a temporary writing gig that I'm really enjoying. If I were with you, I'd want to show my work and have you look it over. But I know what would happen, you would be unimpressed and would probably point out the little flaws, just to find something to hurt my feelings about. You would roll your eyes and dismiss me and act like my writing is not a big deal and how anyone could do it, even though you know that YOU could never do it. It's funny how you got in trouble in school and with your dad because you had writer's block. I used to feel sorry when you told me that story, but then when you started putting down my writing to compensate for your inferiority, I just felt you were just like him--your dad, that is. I know I'm not an expert writer yet, but I enjoy the written word and I'm glad you're not here to discourage me from putting my thoughts down.

 

I feel sorry for your future kids, if you ever do commit. They will never please you. They will have to play with legos and be carbon copies of you or you will dismiss and ignore them. You don't love anyone but yourself. Well, actually, you don't love yourself...that's why you don't love anyone else. But who cares anymore. That's your problem. I have enough of my own without you in my life.