Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Gennifer]

I thought this was getting easier but I was wrong.

Your silence is deafening and the distance is stretching out further between us.

I haven't broken NC out of pride and a stubborness to not start the healing process over again. But it's getting hard.

You're like an infection in my system that needs to bleed out, and I don't know how long that's going to take...

I wish the statement 'out of sight out of mind' applied to me. It seems to be having a reverse effect

[J-L-T]

And I knew this would happen. Ignoring me now. Really it's probably for the best anyways. I know we should probably go NC anyway, at least for a while. But ugh, this all sucks. I can't believe I got all drunk, and sent all those texts. GAH, I must've looked like a stalker. But I'm trying to tell myself it doesn't really matter. It's over anyway, right...so...meh. A part of me just want to get over you, and think it wouldn't work. Another part of me just doesn't feel right. Like this shouldn't be it, we could have worked sh!t out. But there's nothing I can do now anyway. Maybe things would have been better if everybody didn't get involved right after we split - so uch drama. But you must have liked the drama somewhat. You kinda kept it going, didn't you. I've been here before, I'll be alright in time. But yeah, some moments it hits me hard, and takes my breath away. I thought we had something special. I'll never forgive you telling me you love me too, the night before, though. And then basicaly threw it back into my face. Well, I have a feeling you'll maybe be back one day. But maybe that's rubbish, and wishful thinking. Either way, for now, it's goodbye.

[WomanWriter]

Well...wow...your ex girlfriend is dating your best friend's step son. I tell you, I could write a book on the weird things that I've experienced in my life. From my ex fiance's girlfriend living with my nephew's friend and now this. This is just too much.

 

I have that sick feeling in my stomach this morning. The pastor's wife said I can sit with her family, but I feel uneasy about the situation. I don't know if you'll be there or not. I vote for "not" because it's been 2 weeks, but you made such a show of saying how you were getting involved again. You are such a liar.

 

This morning I got an email from our friend, N, with one line: "I won't be going to B's BBQ after all." I wonder why he felt the need to tell me this. Probably had a fight with someone else who is coming.

 

Anyway, there are friends that are not involved in all that drama and I guess I should stick closer to them. I'm not going to mention you anymore just so I don't have to learn every time you take a dump.

 

It's crazy. Last time we talked, you and I decided to try the "friends" thing, but I told you I can't just yet. So I don't know how today is going to be. I'm going to leave it up to you and just focus as much as possible on church. I really just wish you would never come anymore...at least not for a long time...join another church someplace else. It throws me for a loop when you're gone for a while and come back. I refuse to leave my church family on behalf of you. So I'm going to have to make the best of it and resolve to be civil but not overly forthcoming. You want to talk, go out of your way because I really don't need it.

[KatyAtl]

Had another dream about you B. I want our life back.

[PaleSeptember]

Woke up to thinking about you but it wasn't nearly as bad yesterday.

[iBroken]

I had a dream about you last night - first night in a while.

 

You came back to me. But not TO ME. We were talking somehow. You wanted to have sex. You were all over me. I for a second considered it. The I remembered I would be doing all the work. I also couldnt do it because I wasnt attracted to you. And because I am seeing someone. Then we were in the bath together. And I asked you to cover up because I didnt want to see you naked. I was no longer attracted to you and to a degree, almost repulsed.

 

You kept asking why I didnt want to fool around. I wanted to tell you that it was because I was sleeping with someone else and that isnt fair to them. But for some reason, I couldnt tell you. I thought that might hurt you in the slightest, and I didnt want to do that to you. So I just kept saying I cant.

 

I asked you if this was really it. Were we going to part ways for the rest of our lives without ever speaking to one another again after all we had been through. You said we would talk one day, when we both could speak the same language. I didnt understand what you mean. But looking back now, I guess you were telling me that we would speak again once all the dust settles and we are both past this all.

 

I dunno

[hidden_kitten]

The urge to text you or send an email is very strong today, but I have no idea what I'd actually write. Or what I'd even want to hear back. You'd probably just talk about her all the way through.

 

Have I made the biggest mistake of my life? Why did you let me treat you the way I did? I want to go back and erase it all, then start again.

[WomanWriter]

I was right. You didn't come. Weird how you disappeared since we had that personal talk 2 weeks ago. I think maybe you are scared to be around me. Afraid you will become emotional? I know how it is. I also know what you're doing this weekend because of your gf, unfortunately. Oh well, go through this. I am supposed to pray for my enemies, and I am trying.

[MrSpeed]

Struggling to get on with my life without you. You were my life. The last ten years of my life revolved around you and you alone. I don't have anyone to spoil now. Why did you do this to me and why are you being so stubborn. I Love You and miss you like mad. My aching heart. Why does love have to be so painful.

[J-L-T]

Well, it's been approx 22 hours since I contacted you. And a few hours more since you contacted me. You stopped after I sent those drunken texts. I know I messed up there - what a fool. But I'm not gonna beat myself up about it too much. We all do silly things when emotions are high, right? It's not like you're perfect. But, yes, I do wish I hadn't done that. Maybe you think I'm totally crazy now...I don't know. I don't know what you think. I wish I could be in your head, and read your thoughts, if only for one day. NC has only just started, and it's already hard.

 

I want to talk to you. Even after everything. I don't even know what to say. It's just wanting to talk to you. Or even better, being there with you in your arms again. Having you squeeze me, and look into my eyes like you used to. I wish we could forget anything happened, and just be together again. I know that would be unhealthy in reality, but it's a nice fantasy. It's all been such a confusing break-up, and I know it has for you also. I know you're not just okay, and life is hard for you too. I was always there for you though. I comforted you, wiped your tears.

 

And I kinda want to break my phone. Why do I keep it on me all the time, just incase you text or call? Ugh. I want you.

[JimmerJammer]

I wanted your emotional support, all I got was rejection. I am made of something great, you never saw it. Everything I sacrificed, I did for OUR future. This man is no different than me, why all the lying?

[boarderman]

Contacting me all these times since we both agreed to no contact has put a lot of false hope in my head.

 

If you want me back, come out and say it please.

[Live-N-Learn]

There is so much I don't understand about you. After our breakup you never let me go even though you were with other guys. You spent time with me and even came home one night and slept with me again. I thought we might try it again after the 10 weeks of NC. You seemed so happy to have me back in your life. You tell me your not dating now and taking time for yourself but you go on trips with me and sleep with me but will not hold my hand or show effection in public.

 

I feel so used by you. You let me take you out all the time but hardly return my texts. You let me pay for all your drinks and barely say thank you. What do you want from me? You are doing the same thing you did after the breakup. I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I might have to say goodbye forever. I wonder if I will regret it. Maybe you will come to your senses and see how good I have been to you and realize what you are going to lose. I doubt it though. You just take me for granted.

 

I never have been a wimp or insecure. But with you I am very insecure because you will not tell me where I stand or how you feel about me. I wish things were different. I hate the place I am in with you. I feel like a FWB...I am sure that will turn into the worst which is just friends.

 

I have treated you like a girlfriend since we hooked back up 2 months ago but you have not done that for me. You have taken everything as if you were with no remorse or even consideration. I know if I walk away this time, I can live with myself. I know I did my best. It will be your loss.

[PaleSeptember]

It's getting easier not being around you, I didn't even feel any pain today. Of course, the feelings are still there. The loving you, that feeling that warm fuzzy feeling, I'm not dulling feelings. You've still been on my mind, although in the back of it. I still want to be around you. Yet, it wasn't painful to feel things today, I didn't feel like my heart was wrenching, and it's not because I'm still hoping you'll change your mind. And I'm not taking solace in knowing you'll be there in my life in the future, as I know I'll get to a crossroads where I will decide if I want you in my life or not (that's if you still want to be in mine). It's freeing. I've actually told myself a lot today, "It's over. Move on". At least now I know for sure it wasn't only neediness after all (a lot of times I questioned if I really loved you or if it were just codependency, I never told you that). I'm also accepting that even if we were still together, it would blow up eventually due to the issues I brought to the relationship, regardless of anything else. I needed this break. I'm sorry I didn't work on those issues when we were together, but I'm starting to realize I probably couldn't have began fixing them while in a relationship with someone else.

[Nappyloxs]

I still love you even though I see the reality of the relationship, through all the crap you put me through, and just knowing that you are not capable of loving me in the same way. I ask myself how do you love someone who has treated you so bad, who chose on more than one occasion to not be with me, who hasn't even attempted to contact me in almost 60 days. Am I a fool or is this love. I like to believe for some dumb reason that it is love, but I know the truth is that I am just fooling myself.

 

You ran every time the relationship got tough. I stayed and fought. You ran every time you were mad, I stayed and forgave. Maybe my notion of love is stupidity. But I never gave up on you or the relationship.

 

Now I sit here writing this message knowing that you will never see it. Knowing that I will never see you again, never speak to you again, never be with you again. It hurts, but I know deep down inside that there must be someone who loves me the way that I loved you.

[DaveCummings]

I know I can't hate you, but it's as close as I'm going to get because you took our dream away.

[LarsWB]

knowing you're in town and that you don't think enough of me to even want to talk.....that hurts more than i thought it ever would. I mean we have 16 yrs together. Even if that doesn't mean anything to you....do you at least care enough to wonder how I'm doing - what I'm up to - anything?

I want to let you go sooo bad but I just can't yet. I'm just not able to no matter how hard I try. I can't believe what you've done to me....and that you just don't feel anything. I can't believe you're so numb. Pleas get out of my heart, get out of my spirit and soul....PLEASE give me peace....if you want to talk to me, if you miss me, if you want to come back then f-ing tell me before I close my heart off to you for good.

[oceanblue535]

My heart still wants you. But, I know in my head it's over. Too much damage has been done. I would have gotten the moon for you, that's how much I loved you. Now, I just see disappointment and pain when I think of you. Going to keep moving forward as if you're never coming back.

[Angelaa]

This time last year we were so in love. I sit here and feel like it happened overnight... it really didn't but it feels like it. You're gone. I love you but you are so far gone now.

[Starrgrl]

Everyday, I'm getting closer and closer to meeting my ideal guy, and I wanna thank you for making me realise what I don't need in my life, and now I'm on a better path towards happiness.

 

Love you T. Thank you for everything =) I really am grateful that you were in my life. All the hurt was not a waste. I hope you are open to learning in the future too.

[DeenasRhino]

I was going thru my bag looking for my flash drive when I found my ring. I still hate you for losing yours.

[iBroken]

You dumped my ass 3 months ago yesterday.

 

This week is also the 4th anniversary of when we met that night in the bar.....

This sucks...this pain hurts.

 

Do you even feel the same angst I do? Do you even miss me at all? Do I even cross your mind?

 

I saw a pic of you - I should have taken your friend of FB a long time ago. After seeing you, I felt so sick to my stomach. New clothes, new shoes. And that tattoo we went to get together....needless to say, shes no longer a friend on my account. I just cant

 

I wish I could so forget about you after what you have done.

 

I wish I could let you stop hurting me. But somehow, you are still invading my heart, my mind. I wish this pain would go away.

[Sweetkisses22]

I HATE YOU FOR LYING TO ME. FOR TELLING ME YOU LOVED ME. FOR PROMISING ME YOU'D NEVER HURT ME, YOU'D NEVER BE LIKE THE OTHERS. I wish i never knew you..

[WomanWriter]

Today was so hard for me. K took me out and we talked about our pasts all day, had some tears, and talked about what we wanted out of our futures...to both go back to school and develop some new hobbies. That would help a lot. I'm going to look into finishing my MS this week. I also want to see about taking some dance classes, maybe photography--which is what I've always wanted but never tried.

 

 

It is hard now though, being home. Just remembering how we played pool on Memorial Day. You sat on my lap. We were matching shirts and kicked the other team's butt (and it was my first time...ya!). You showed me how to get the balls in the pockets and I improved fast. You were so proud of me. We had so much fun and we didn't even drink. I remember making out on the bar stools and N kept going "Yuck!" and he slammed his que on the pool table. Then you drove me home to your house in your sister's car and tucked me into your bed, kissed my cheek and told me you'd be there soon. Went back and played some poker, but was bored and missed me and came home and snuggled with me.

 

Now you are probably playing pool with your girlfriend and our friends. I don't even want to imagine it. She's probably getting drunk with your sister and you may even be drinking as well, probably smoking. Makes me so sad how awesome we were together. I wonder if you are missing me. I can't imagine you having more fun with her because we had such a fun time. You seemed soooooo happy with me even though we were sober. I'll never forget you sitting on my lap, holding you from behind. You and I were so lovey dovey.

How could you replace me? I hope you cry tonight from our memories. I hope you aren't letting her sleep on my pillow. That was MY pillow. Make her go home. You said you felt so safe with me there in your bed. Doesn't it make you sad to have someone else there instead of me or am I that replaceable?

[Nappyloxs]

It upset me knowing how little you appreciated me and the relationship. I know if we were to discuss this, you would bring up that email from 2 years ago. I have done everything to show you that I loved you and that I wanted to be with you. I don't even think it was the email that broke us apart. You went looking for it. That should show something. Why do I even believe you even loved me over the last two years? All you did was push yourself away from me. You never cherished what we had. Only hated it.