Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[LarsWB]

I love and miss you, I always will. I didn't marry you and renew our vows years later just to let go so easily....but you've left me no choice. I'm trying so hard to move on. You'll never know how much it's hurt me. You'll never feel pain like this over me, and I wish mine would stop....but I can't make it move along any faster. Do you think about me, miss me, and wonder what I'm doing?

I can still smell your hair and feel your skin. I can still hear your laugh in the house. I can still see you in the bedroom and when I reach over to put my hand on your stomach and rub it...I can feel your skin. How will I ever find another like you? Was this it for me....my one and only chance?

[anu1560]

I hope your family wished you a Happy BDay today unlike in past, when they forgot your BDay. You deserve a very very happy bday. You are a wonderful person and you have every right to be happy. I want to call you and wish you bday. But you know I cannot do that. It is not good for me or you. But many mnay happy returns of the day. Know always that I have a special spot in my heart for you. Know always that I will always wish for the best for you. Know always that I am there for you if you ever need me. May not be romantically. But as a friend, yes I will be there for you. You taught me so much. Love Honeypie.

[littlegirlblue]

i'm missing you so very much today. I don't know why after finding out about your chats on msn with another girl while you're will "the one" or "rebound" or whatever you're classing her as these days. You really don't deserve for me to miss you. You've brought more anguish and pain in to my life in the past 2 years than happiness. I just understood because you were ill but i can't keep using that as an excuse just like you can't.

[WomanWriter]

I'm ashamed of myself. I thought I was going to take the job, but I didn't. What will I say tonight when you see me at church? I am the wishy washy person you think I am. My ex fiance told me I was wishy washy once and I said "No, I like what I like." He said I couldn't make up my mind and was always changing it. Now I see what he means. And I see what I did to you. I did jerk you around. I always had one foot in and one foot out. You told me that you didn't feel secure with me because I was always ready to leave and couldn't give you the hope of marriage. Well, you were right. And now you have apparently moved on from me and I decide I want you back. I am very ashamed of this. I don't want you back because you're unavailable though. I want you back because I miss laughing and talking and cuddling with you. I do love you. I'm just keeping this to myself because you are with somoene else.

 

And you know, I don't completely trust you yet I still want you. I am ashamed of that too. I do love you because of the traits you have and in spite of the traits you don't. I don't think you purposely lie to me, but you just say stuff in the heat of the moment. My grandma thinks you are kind of slow and backwards. You think she loves you, so I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings, but I think she's right. In some ways, you are clueless. But sometimes I think you use that as an excuse just because you can. I see that you're whole family is kind of relationship-limited, so I know it's not just you. They just don't know that you're supposed to be considerate. You guys are like little kids.

 

To be honest, I'm like that too. I am self-centered, self-pitying and immature. I am ashamed of this too.

 

I have a lot of shame. I struggle daily between thoughts of making a move and just avoiding you forever. I have wondered--am I bipolar? Are you? But I don't think I am because I am never that happy or impulsive. You? Actually, that seems very possible. I know something is wrong with me though. I know I'm codependent and depressed, but I think something else is wrong with me too. Narcissim? I don't know, though, because I do think I care about people. I definitely feel ashamed at the slightest chance that I hurt someone (well, depending on the situation). I don't know. What is the term for being obessive? It's not OCD, I don't think. Borderline? Therapists just tell me I'm insecure. Every one of them has said that. Ok, but how do I change it?

 

I feel so useless. In some ways I feel I shouldn't have to settle for you because you're a jerk, and in other ways I feel like I love you and that you are not really trying to lie to me, you are just immature like I am and doing what you know. Just saying how you feel in the moment. Just wishy washy like me.

 

Maybe that *is* bipolar.

[bart]

Went to check my email and saw I had a message from you. Four months NC, and now an email. I opened it, and it was just a virus. Did make my heart stop for a second though.

[Angelaa]

I hate how I put you on this stupid pedestal after everything.. when really I have only found out how much of a COMPLETE LOSER you were the whole time, manipulating, cheating, lieing, deceiving, rude, ugly, boring, lowlife LOSER. This whole city thinks you are an IDIOT. And here I am selectively remembering only the good things. ughh silly brain.

[littlegirlblue]

So Scott just text me saying he saw you walking the dog up the road. So you're back from your parents. here i am waiting for a text that i shouldn't be waiting for. The "Can i bring over your case?" Why?? What the hell is wrong with me? I'm getting so tired of all this. Physcially and mentally. You're continuously draining the life out of me and i'm allowing it to happen. Every time i pick myself up i feel like i can take on the world but when i fall again, i fall harder. The times i'm picking myself up are few and far between these days. I have to get stronger and get you out of my life for good!

[WomanWriter]

Nothing you say adds up. You told me that you "fell hard" for some girl right after your divorce that you took two years to get over...and that's why you were scared it would happen with me. But when we started dating, you told me that you didn't date anyone because you were "so messed up from your divorce." So either one of those had to be a LIE. Also, you have had like 20 girlfriends. How is it that you were married for 6 years and had 20 or more relationships in a 4-year time period (since you didn't start dating until you were 20)? And I know one lasted for almost 2 years. So were you seeing them simultaneously or something, or were they like 2 week-long relationships? I can't believe how you can get serious with people so fast. Like you just pick up a woman and she's your girlfriend...then get bored and go on to the next one who is already waiting.

 

The thing is, when I think about you, I forget all this stuff. My ex fiance and I were each other's first real serious relationship and first sex partner, etc. So I compare the way he acted when he dumped me (crying, upset) and when I dumped you (you seemed unphased). But then I have to remember that my ex fiance was not a player. He and I had very little experience. You can't compare to me because you have had all these women, so of course it would be easy to get over me. I'm just one of many. Your family said it was different with me. I'm surprised it even lasted 6 months. I think I was your 3rd longest relationship. I have a hard time believing you were with your ex wife for 6 years. Oh yeah, most of that was a LDR...now it makes sense...so you wouldn't have to do very much.

 

It hurts so much to think about you. When you're around, I feel a pull towards you like a chemical thing. I remember how tender you were and how we dressed alike, etc. You didn't seem like the player type at all then. You were so sweet and nerdy sometimes that I can't believe you are really this womanizer. We wore our matching dorky bike helmets, we spent all this time together and it wasn't even sexual most of the time. Just lots of laughing, sharing, activites.

 

Why do people like me see past the bad qualities even though we KNOW they are there and we hate them? I always complained about you and yet I didn't want to break up with you because I enjoyed you.

 

I feel cursed that we could be so open and honest. I don't know if I've ever let my guard down like that. It's like I trusted you more than anyone and yet I yhink you're the most untrustworthy person ever. I don't get it! I told you my most private secrets and when the two of us talk, you seem so open and willing and such. But then you have a need for attention from many women. It's like you are honest in the moment, but only in the moment. You then change your mind and you flit elsewhere.

 

I just feel terrible. It is harder to get over you than my ex fiance! I feel so empty and hopeless now. I had false hope and was going to try to get you back, but the more time goes on that you're still with your "rebound," the more I realize you probably did set me up to break up with you so you could get with her. And I don't anticipate you breaking up any time soon because it's long distance and that works well for you so you can base things on a fantasy. I bet when some new girl comes to the church, you will suddenly be broken up with. Watch. There is a new woman coming to Young Adult services. She was there last week when you weren't. She's pretty and brunette---your type! Watch...you're going to have an "epiphany"..decide that your gf is not Christian and you have to be with someone Christian...oh, hey, the new chick is Christian...hey, "let's be friends." Oh no, I'm not attracted to her. She's just nice. Oh why not?

[Starrgrl]

I love you. =(

I do I do.

I miss you so much. It hurts. It bloody hurts.

 

 

I miss the way you'd say my name

and the way you'd look at me

and the way we so connected

and the sound of your laugh =(

 

I can feel I can feel you near me

Even though you're far away

I can feel I can feel you baby

Why

 

It's not supposed to feel this way

I need you I need you

More and more each day

It's not supposed to hurt this way

I need you I need you I need you

[hnkmp55]

Well its been 2 months since our break up. How in the world does a woman go from being engaged and looking up bridal gowns to sneaking behind a mans back and having who knows what kind of conversations over texts in the middle of the night with another??? Then when we sit down and talk it out swear up and down it was innocent and that you loved me that you just need time to think about us. Then you strung me on for a month. Allowing me to continue to carry on as a father figure to your 2 year old that I had the priveledge of watching her grow for the last 7 months as the only man in her life. Just to yank it all away. I had to leave our home, my fiance, and that precious little girl i considered my daughter. I cant tell you how much you have hurt me!! Now I find out you have already moved on. Its been 5 weeks since we called it off for good. 5 weeks and you already have another man sleeping over! What kind of mother are you! I hate you so much. Yet im scared at the same time! That when this doesnt work out with your new man, or he isnt accepting of your daughter like I was your going to come looking for me. It scares me because i dont know what ill do. right now id like to tell you to hit the road! The thought of him sleeping in my bedroom. Picking up my little girl. and kissing you goodnight is almost enough to break me! Almost! It wont happen. Right now i wish nothing good for you!! How could I? I gave you every part of me, and you took it and gave nothing in return.

[ksh1255]

Well tomorrow is the big day. I am sitting up, getting things ready to present to my lawyer. Filing this separation agreement you've been pushing so hard for, even though you swear there is no one else. Or are you pushing so hard for it? You say that i'm stalling, but yet YOU are the one who cancelled your lawyers apt. YOU are the one who called me yesterday wanting me to hear you out about visitation before I went to see my lawyer. Know what I think? I think things are going exactly like they did the first go around. You are trying to keep us fighting until we fight our way back together again. You can say you dont love me all you want to, I am not going to argue that point with you, because if you loved me, you sure wouldnt have done what you did. I was the man to you most women would kill for, I made you happier than you have ever been, you loved me sooo much, I was such a great father, husband, lover...but yet you did what you did, and pretty much slapped me in the face after already ripping out my chest. You really dont deserve me thinking twice about you. I was used, betrayed, abandoned, you kept my child away from me. What did I do for you? Work 90 hrs a week, sacrificed everything I had, my time away from you and the kids, all my money, all the work i put in, I did everything I had time to do for you when I was home, all while you focussed on school...then you get your job as a nurse and you walk out on me, and try to tell me I didnt do good enough? Are you kidding me?!? Find the man who is better to you, I dont mean in the first 6 months when your honeymoon stage is going, I mean 2-3 YEARS later - tell me they have been better to you....I would LOVE to meet him. Sure, they may make more money than me, but are they better to you and the kids?! Do they love you with the same intensity I do?? Are they going to be good enough for you?! I just dont see what you think you're missing. Nothing worth tearing a whole family apart for I promise you. Everything I did to show i always put you and the kids first, me, nor our kids deserve this.

 

All this....and the last thing I want to do is file this separation agreement. Am I co-dependent? Am I scared to be alone? I dont know....I just know I love you, thats why i married you. I know I miss you for some strange reason, and though I feel I did nothing wrong, I would love to go back to this time last year, and re-live how we were then. Things seemed perfect and I miss it so much.

[The_Seeker]

I wish I never met you and focus on my career path instead. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of the memories of us when I walk on campus or in class.

[Jaeiyola]

I hope you meet someone that will break your heart someday. I hope you feel the pain that I am feeling right now.

 

I hope when we meet again, you'll be sad you let me go.

 

I don't want to go back to you. I promise you tonight will be the last time I check your blog and fb.

 

Have fun with your single status. I don't care.

[markd321]

Day 7

 

Just woke up and you're all that fills my mind.......this is going to be a * * * * day.

[WomanWriter]

This is the third time in a row that you missed church. Your family and ex gf too! Is there something going on? Did ya'll change churches? Someone said you all were getting high. I hope not! Wow. The last time I saw you was when we had that talk. What happened? You said you'd be back and you had plans to come back to Sunday school as well as work on the committe.

 

I think God has answered my prayer. I am not to be with you now. We are supposed to be equally yoked and I don't believe you are actually Christian. It's just something for you to do once in a while. Really sad because you used to participate in everthing. It's only after our break-up that you've almost disappeared. But then, your gf isn't Christian, so you'll probably drift away.

 

It was easier not seeing you though. For a while, you weren't on my mind whatsoever. I enjoyed the fellowship of our mutual friends without you around. I could get used to it and I'd be fine.

 

But still, it's sad too in a way. There was something in class that spoke to me tonight. A dad was talking about how he always wanted to jump in before his son made a mistake. But he felt God telling him to watch and see what his son would do. I immediately understood. God wants me to WATCH and SEE what you DO. If I am the one to talk to you about my feelings, how will I ever know if I can truly trust you? If you really wanted to be with me, you'd be convicted to break up with your non-Christian girlfriend and you would talk to me. I have problems trusting you so it is up to you to prove trustworthy. And right now, you are not looking trustworthy in any sense of the word. So the answer to my prayer is no. No, I should not be with you. No, I should not tell you how I feel any further. Yes, I should encourage you. Yes, I should pray for you. Yes, I can watch and see how you're going to act and be responsive towards you should you decide to commit to Christ 100 percent (and to break up with gf). But the answer for this time period is no. You are not ready to surrender to God and I think I am. I am ready to do His will if he calls me. I'm not ready in the human sense, but I am willing to be used by him. I can't say the same for you. You have your own timing. So I'm not going to be dramatic and say goodbye. I'll miss you. But I'll probably see you around. I neither have to hang on or let go. All I need to go is focus on God, watch, and wait. I don't need an answer about ever being with you. If the time is right, it will come. And if there is never the right time, then someone else will come OR someTHING else will come. I believe God will deliver us both, maybe togeter maybe apart. But I do know that right now is not the right timing for us. You have shown that with your lack of commitment to the church through your actions, the fact that you are still with your "rebound," and the fact that you never did tell me you loved me when I said the same to you. So all that speaks as the answer. Maybe I'll see ya in church.

[Starrgrl]

I feel really empty and lonely right now.

I miss you. It's really hard to handle life without you.

 

 

It's crazy how much things have changed. It's so hard to let you go. My heart doesn't want to. I wish I could just move on. I wish I could stop loving you. I wish I didn't give a crap.

 

 

 

The nights are long,

My days are cold,

Without the warmth you provide me when I hold,

You in my arms, feels so long ago,

When you were there...

I think a teardrop just fell down.

 

 

I thought that from this heartache I could escape

But I fronted long enough to know

There ain't no way and today

I'm officially missing you

[AutumnBorn]

If you had mailed that registration, like I'd suggested, I wouldn't have been sitting there while you signed the title. If I hadn't been sitting there, you wouldn't have mentioned dating it for the third. If you hadn't mentioned dating it two days ahead, I wouldn't have thought about it being September 1. And if all that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have thought "it's our anniversary". Last year you were hiking with Sweet P. The year before with Lacey. The year before that in London with Lacey. This year you worked late and I, finally, forgot about it...bought a birthday gift for Kyle, got a pedi/mani, and you had to go and ruin it for me. When went to E.'s to play cello, it's all I could think about. Broke my new A string, then broke the old one, so we went out for dinner. First September 1 in four years I didn't cry.

 

Thanks for the hug, but I didn't need it. I doubt you did, either.

[seizeyourwings]

To you:

 

I started going through my papers and other things last night. You know, deciding what to put in storage and what to take with me when I move. After sifting through endless amounts of Organic Chemistry and Botany notes, I came accross a small pile of folded up papers at the bottom of one of the bins I was sifting through. Upon seeing them, my stomach lurched ever so slightly. I put them there in the middle of January, and haven't seen them since. I'd forgotten what your handwriting looked like, just like I've forgotten your mannerisms and touch. I read each one, and there was only one thing I felt: nostalgia. No anger, no sadness. Just reminded of little things that had long since disappeared from memory. Like that time a year ago when I put ice-cold soy sauce on your chaffed thigh after our little argument. I had forgotten some of our bubbyspeak, and the names we used to call each other. About 14 months ago we went camping near Colorado Springs. It was exactly a year ago, I think, that I got on the plane back to Denver from JFK. And it's only a few more months before the one year anniversary of when I got that terrible gut feeling, the one that wouldn't go away, the one that started it. And people might call me weird for it, but I think that us separating was best for both of us. I, for one, was too blinded by love to foresee some huge bumps in the road. And no, it's not just because of you; I'm not calling anyone a bad person. We were just incompatible in the long run, I think. Nothing bad or condescending or scathing: that's just the reality of it. I haven't seen you in nearly 9 months. I haven't contacted you or heard from you in 8. In all honesty, it's probably better that way. I'm assuming that means you're happy and well: pursuing your post-bacc and probably looking into medical schools right now. (I hope you have a better time in Organic Chem than I did)! I no longer think it would tear me apart or even affect me at all to talk to you, but I have no reason to revive past experiences. I learned what I was supposed to learn, and I grew a lot when I was with you. I finished school on time because I was pushing myself so I could move in with you. You taught me how to drive a manual (my current car is a manual, by the way). I learned to be confident with who I am (which is part of why I finally got my septum pierced) and to stand up for myself. A lot of good came out of those 2 years. But that's what they are: 2 years of my past. I do all that I can to live in the present and look toward the future. You don't know me anymore, and I don't know you. That's just the way of things.

 

 

I remembered that the brown blanket and the picture you gave me for my birthday that one year are in the garage, and the letters and the pictures and the movie tickets are now back in the bottom of the box.

 

It doesn't hurt to see them anymore. It doesn't really feel like anything.

 

That's how I know I've healed, and that you and I are completely in my past now.

 

-Me

[iBroken]

Well, she met the family yesterday.

 

Mom likes her (of course) as does my Bro.......

 

Oh and thanks for dumping my ass after convincing my mom to move to this side of town and leaving me to deal with moving all her stuff........

 

You suck

[LarsWB]

I miss you today.

The weather is turning cooler...and I remember how much you liked Fall.

I love you D. I miss you and everything about you.

No matter where I go, or who I'm with, I'll always love you.

[DeenasRhino]

I bet you forgot today's my birthday. It's okay though. I'm not expecting any contact from you anyway.

[WomanWriter]

Ok, I'm sick in my gut. I think I'm getting to the point where this is it. I just went on FB and saw that your sister invited your girlfriend to a labor day BBQ at your guys' house. It makes me want to puke since you and I hosted a Memorial Day BBQ together at your house just months ago. Your gf responded that she would love to go and will be working with you on a jet that day, but will try to end early so the two of you can go.

 

So much for "never really seeing her" and not being attracted to her. I need to stay as far away from you as possible. You are obviously still going strong with her. You made it sound like nothing.

 

I can't help it. I just gotta stay away from you!!! How will I handle you at church? What will I do on Labor Day with ALL OUR FRIENDS being invited to your BBQ except me?! It's like being ex-communicated to an island all by myself. Makes me want to die!

[Angelaa]

i misss youu.

[Nappyloxs]

I realize now you cheated on me that last week of our relationship. I am not going to allow it to get to me. I make me hate you even more besides all the crap you put me through. What comes around goes around. When it happens to you, do not come crying back to me. I won't be there I promise. I was there for you for 3 years, but you were never there for me. I am done with you. It took me two months to see the signs, but now I have and I hate you. I will never be friends with you unlike my other ex. You were just evil to me, especially this last year and now that I know you cheated on me is just icing on the cake. Go rot in hell.

[lvsthebeach]

Again, I am completely happy in my decision to leave you. You have/had no feelings for my feelings what so ever. Looking back over the phone records again, I see that. While on vacation with your wife (me), you made time to talk to her. Makes me so sick to my stomach. I hate what you have done to me. How you have made me feel. I am doing the right thing. I HAVE to get you out of my mind. I am not ashamed of anything that I have done b/c I can hold my head high. You are the one who should feel shame. You are the most dishonest and hateful person that I have ever known. I hate Liars! And you are one. And I stayed with you for way too long. Thanks for hurting me b/c it gave me the power to leave you and our distructive marriage/life. It would have continued on a downward spiral leading us both to horrible places! I am mentally cussing you out. You make me sick!