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I just wanted to say this thread is awesome


I'v read through quite a few pages now and there is some heartbreaking stuff on here but also some seriously funny .


Good work OP!

Edited by DN
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I feel like I'm not even allowed to be angry at you anymore because the truth is that I'm still more in love with an ex before you then I ever was with you. And if I had to choose between you or her? I'd choose her 11 out of 10 times.


I would never tell you this though, and that's my problem... It doesn't make me nice. It makes me stupid because it's a lack of emotional honesty. It's my biggest problem, and if I don't find a way to be more emotionally honest then I'll keep putting myself in bad situations and ruining relationships.


So even though I prefer her to you, it doesn't mean that I don't love you, don't miss you, and don't admire you. I just know that we weren't as good of a match, and that you didn't know how to thrive in a relationship like she did.

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What can I say? I still love you, even after how things turned out. I gave my life to you on so many levels, sacrificed so much. In the end you wouldn't defend me or stand up for me. You caved to the pressure your family put on you even though you know in a month or two you'll be miserable there again. You told me you loved me, that you didn't love me, that you used me, that you weren't sure. I don't know what you meant and what you didn't mean. I know they put the idea you didn't love me in your head. Maybe I gave you too much, but I don't regret that warmth.


I miss feeling you in my arms. I miss resting my cheek to your back when we sleep. I miss your warmth, the texture of your skin. I miss how you'd kiss me in the morning and how you would lay against me. I miss the I love yous that you would whisper. I miss how time stood still for us for the short time we had together. You don't know what I'd do for one more night in your arms.


I don't hate you and I understand why you gave in. You wanted the stability your family promised, even though you know they probably are just lying again. I can't let myself forget, though, that while I would have died for you that you lied about what you said. You took the easy way out. The way that you had the least resistance.


Will we ever be together again? I don't know. Maybe if you can stand up for yourself and find some inner strength. You've got some growing up to do before we reach that point. I know better than to give into your whims again and let you decide when and where you can toggle loving me. I will be stronger even if you aren't. I know how far I can go.


I only hope you aren't suffering or unhappy where you are. I hope they will cook for you and take care of you as good as I have. I'm sorry I can't be there to give you the warmth I know you need. I hope you don't have to awaken to a cold reality one day of what you gave up. If fate is cruel to you, I hope there's a silver lining and it brings you strength. I hope you don't let them take your freedom again.


Please be well and warm.

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Why did you refuse to try. You know in 6 months we will lose the house. You are putting the kids through hell. Al I wanted was to go and talk to counsler instead of just ending it. I still love you and I do not want this. I hope you come to your senses and we can at least sit down and talk without emotion.


Please use some common sense and put away the petty differences. For the kids lets talk.

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Morning. How are you today? How's the little one? L wont stop talking about her and I've even gone to call her A a couple of times now. I think you forget that I lost a family, not just a lover.

As you can see, I still think of you of you both. The distance doesn't seem to qwell that as much as I thought.

So which one is it, now that I'm away and we're in NC, "Out of sight, out of mind" or "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"?

You've completely thrown me after Fri/Sat

Missing you x

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Hope your doing well again, and school is going well for you. I've really struggled to let you go, and its hard to. I know your over me, I just wish I hadn't done so much for you because I am the only one left with the memories. I just hope that you miss me sometimes and remember the happy times we had together. I don't know whatever I did to push you away. You always meant more than me and you'd never understand that.

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So now you're gonna slag me off cos I won't initiate contact. Well I've blocked you on Facebook now so you'll really have to make an effort if you wanna get in touch.

I'm having real problems dealing with all this and hope that I can either hate you or be happy for you. This bitterness is starting to eat away at me.

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Dear Ex:


I stopped by what used to be OUR home to go drop off the key , i couldnt just drop it and leave i went it and went thru every single room , with tears i remember everything that was lived there . Who would have thought we would end this way it all feels like a nightmare a nightmare i have been living with for a year i still dont know where you moved to , people have offered to find out for me but truth is i dont want to know , i just hope you are ok and that you are taking care of our dogs. And i hope you soon realize SHE isnt worth it she wasnt worth throwing me away.


I keep telling myself it will all go away i will move on but i love you so freaking much .

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It's sad you've turned so superficial and your ego has grown so far out of proportion.

I hate who you have become but I guess this is you now.


You've started afresh as you wanted.


Its a shame this is who you are now.


Thats just what I would say.

Haven't bothered texting her and can't be bothered.

Past that now.

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I guess trying to communicate was my way of keeping "us" alive.. this morning I got home from work and was thinking of you.. how you would be here at 7am still drinking beer and just not in a good mood.. I was also thinking how fast you moved to N++++ after we broke up eight years ago... and you did the same as now, the silent treatment.. when we got back together last year, you told me you looked for me all these years.. yet, when I asked you my last name you did not know it. You also had lots and lots of terrible things to say about N++++, I wonder today if you had the same terrible things to say to her about me when we broke up the last time and who your are telling the story to now??

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threatening you with HR was the best thing i ever did to get rid of you

you are the poison i kept stabbing myself with

she is not even within my league so let's not go there

instead of hating her i feel sorry for her

you lie to her to, same s*** you did to me

i feel sorry for you. they all say you found a cheap replacement of me

too bad you still love me and miss me

i bet she doesnt know that with all your sweet lies

i told you i will never forgive you

you are a disgusting player and karma will come back to bite you

in fact, bad karma follows you everywhere

you are always lonely no matter who you are with

go live off your daddy and find girls who stroke your ego

no matter who you are with, she will never measure up to me

why do you think your mother adored me?

you are the player everyone warned me about

no matter what you do, i will never forgive you

no i dont check up on you and her anymore

i am too far gone past that stage

seeing your ugly face at work sucks, but i love it because i want to watch you burn

put on the pathetic sad look when you see me, it doesnt do anything but make me smile

it doesnt change people's nasty perception of you either

go find others girls to lie to, cheat on, manipulate and abuse

i was always too good for you and you know it

never understand what i ever saw in you

everything about us was just a big fat lie, on your part

stop driving around my neighbourhood

acting like a gentleman to cover up your player ways never worked at work or anywhere

people saw through you like glass

so glad you dumped me

as big of a fool i was for you, you are the biggest scumbag on the face of planet

one more strike and HR will visit you soon

once a cheater, always a cheater n****!!!!

you mean nothing to me

i act like you never existed

you are the most selfish person i have ever met

so glad to say i am happy now

so good to see you still miserable and putting on fake brave face

everything about you is sooooooooooo fake

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It was harder today than usual Ricky. Giving you advice on meeting a new partner is tearing me apart. I want to be your friend and hold your hand the whole way through but that spot isn't for me anymore now is it?

I hope my advice helps you out. And the advice you gave me; why should I give anyone else a chance, you broke my heart.

You're wondering why I want just sex in a relationship now, this is why. I don't want to give anyone else my heart because they will throw it away like you did that night.

I love you, and miss you more than ever tonight.

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I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since last night.

You're telling me that if I don't sleep with other people, I can still talk to you about things that are happening in my life.

Why do you care Ricky?

You don't want me back, so why do you care if I sleep with other people?

Isn't this what you wanted?

Are you jealous because other men are having me, or are you jealous that you haven't had a root yet.

If it is the latter one, you need to get your priorities checked.

There hasn't been a moment since you left me that I haven't thought of you, and the pain I was going through last night was literally tearing me up inside and I couldn't breathe.

And I am getting a bit annoyed that I am constantly seeing your family in town. Each time I see them I think of the times that your family and I spent together, and how much they loved and supported me. Now when I drive past them, they barely look at me, and I them.

I feel a bit psycho writing all of this, but it isn't like you would ever listen to me, you've made that clear many a time.

All that I can think about is the fantastic time that we spent in "M" (for my birthday). I found our picture the other day, when we were at the aquarium and we went into that little booth that sketched our portrait. We looked so happy, and for once I actually looked decent in a picture. But I tore it up, because you tore my heart up.

Are you even realising what this is doing to me?

You are so blind.

But I love you.

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I really wanna tell ya that I'm missing you and that I still love you. I want to reach out to you, to offer you an olive branch.

Villify me all you want if that's what gets you through. I don't deserve it and you know I don't. I have always been good to you.

This will all catch up with you in the end, you can't run forever.

I'll be back Sunday but I'm gonna be strong and not contact you. Maybe then you'll realise.

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I have been up all night crying and sorting through things in the house.. If I had any idea you would do this to me again the way you did me eight years ago I NEVER would have let you back into my life. I asked you from the start please do not hurt me again. You promised .. claiming you loved me so much. Even your mother told you to be nice to me this time because you were not nice the first time around, after you finally told her it was me you were dating.. you left this house turned upside down, and never helped put it back together or repair the damage to the door.. I saw the pics from the kids visit tonight and that made things worse.. Wish we could find our way.. wish you would get help with your addictions,, wish you were here clean and sober and working and grilling and just being the person I know you are inside beyond the drugs and the beer. But I am the only one that sees a problem, and you however see so many with me.. Sorry I cannot be drunk with you every day and sorry I have to go to work to pay for everything and make a home for us.. but you found being home with your buddy and playing video golf and drinking is much better.. I wish I could forget you.. I have loved you for ten years.. You broke my heart again

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I am so mad at myself for allowing you to make me feel this way. I know in the three short days we have been apart that you have moved on....But how do you go from asking me to move in and wanting to marry me...to nothing?! How could someone be so insensitive. I want so badly to call you. I want you to hold me like you always did. We have so many wonderful memories that I will never forget! I refuse to contact you!! You do not deserve to know how badly I am hurting. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine! I was fine before you and I will be fine without you. My son misses you too. It's so hard to explain to the little ones. He doesn't understand why you left! It breaks my heart even more when he asks for you.


Take care....I guess.

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