Jump to content
'

Post here instead of contacting your ex!


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 19.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

I really tried.   I told you from the get go that I was in the midst of an awakening from monogamy to polyamory which, you were very clear you didnt want.   I told you I wanted to work it out with

I feel so sad having had to leave what was our apartment because of you, for the second time. I feel sad we never invested in buying a few stuff for any apartment we've owned, because you always

I do not even know who you are anymore. You are an addict. Addicted to alcohol and now porn. You ordered 3 hours of porn on PPV??!!?? You subscribed to a porn website??What is your problem?? You are a lonely person. Sitting in an empty house, drinking and watching porn. Wow, did I get out in time or what? Who have you become? You are not the person that I thought I was married to for 11 years. Maybe you were always that way and just hid it from me. Maybe that is why you were not happy with me or our life b/c you wanted to be involved with things that I was not interested with. Porn doesn't bother me per se but damn, sitting there watching it by yourself and drinking!! What a horrible life. You are going in a downward spiral. Not something that I want in my life and am glad that I am not in it anymore.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I fell asleep crying about you last night. I dreamt about you while I slept. And this morning you were once again the haunting thought of my mind.

 

I don't know why I became so comfortable talking to you again. Same reason you did, I suppose. 'Cause even after -months- of NC we still connect with each other. It was a risk I took. Maybe when we realized friendship wouldn't work it hurt you, but ultimately time and time again I receive the most hurt. Because you have him now to help you through it. And I am alone.

 

It will be hard this next week not texting you anymore. I really hope as you sit at home you miss our conversations, too. You probably will, but you probably won't do anything about it. So too must I do nothing about it. I don't want you to win again.

 

Even though we're better people now it wouldn't work. I thought he was temporary. Maybe he kind of is. It's insulting that you value him more than I. But really I wouldn't allow myself to commit to you. Not after what you'e done. You ruined everything. And what's worse is that I'm the only one who seems to care.

 

Goodbye for now. We'll talk again someday when we realize months have gone by without the thought of each other.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I`m feeling better today. Way better if I may say so. You`re still in my mind a lot, but at the moment just the same as any other random unpleasant situation. I wish it will remain the same in the future and in time to get to the point where you dont even cross my mind again. Only the thought of me crying over you again or having any compassionate or loving feelings for your person makes my skin crawl. It took me a while, but you`re not on a pedestal anymore. Yes, I am incredibly lonely, with no friends, you can keep them all, it is hard, but I am OK without you. Its good not to have "what if`s" in my mind anymore, no expectations. I couldn't care less about what you think or do now. Maybe tomorrow I`ll be back in the depressed mode, who knows? But today it`s a good day and its a start.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I want this pain to stop. I want to stop crying. You're destroying me. I feel a complete fool. Today is the lowest I've felt yet. I feel physically sick knowing you're with her and telling me she's a rebound yet you've obviously not ended it. I wish i had her number to forward on that text! You can't play people like that if you don't mean it. Why do you have to be so cruel!!? I just want to go to sleep and never wake up and it's all because of you. Why did you have to tell me those lies! If it's not lies why won't you contact me again? why is she putting up photos you've obviously taken on her FB page?? I'm a complete mess today and you'll know nothing about it. I wish you could feel half the pain i'm feeling right now!

Link to post
Share on other sites

God I miss you so much - it hurts thinking about you, but I have no control over when or how often I think of you, so I seem to always be hurting at the moment.

However - I feel hopeful for the future, I realise that not contacting you will help.

Link to post
Share on other sites

My therapist said to "go on break" with you mentally. I asked if I should tell you that I would take you back and she said not yet. She said to focus on other things for a while and when the time comes to talk to you, I will know it. It is hard because I unblocked you on FB since we are "friends" again (not on FB though) and I saw that you friended a mutual friend today. That means you were on FB today and yesterday from what I could tell. You must be writing to your gf on FB because I know you two communicate that way. I checked her status and lo and behold you're still together. Maybe I'd just make a huge mess telling you I want you back. I remember you telling me before that you don't like couples that break up and get back together. Why does it have to be so black and white? Anyway, whatever. You're with someone else, so you moved on. Ball's in your court. Sucks.

Link to post
Share on other sites
God I miss you so much - it hurts thinking about you, but I have no control over when or how often I think of you, so I seem to always be hurting at the moment.

However - I feel hopeful for the future, I realise that not contacting you will help.

 

This. I can change my thoughs through mental gymnastics. I can do thought stopping. I can pretend my ex is a train going in another direction. But I can't stop the thoughrs from coming in the first place. I am STILL waiting to get on depression meds to stop the obsessive thoughts, but I constantly think about him no matter what I do and it sucks.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Unlike many people here I can ring you now if I wanted you. But I can't tell you everything any more. And this really hurts. All this time apart, the facade of doing so well..it is hard to hide that now we are close again. My pain is in the songs I wrote and I am torn because I wanna play you my music. Then I slip up with stories, facts, situations of the past 2 years and quickly I remember that I must not tell you some things now. Yet the pain I went through transformed me and I wish I could come to you freely like I could without feeling exposed or worried that you'll think I was weak. Some purity is gone, that exclusivity or something. You say that whatever happened was irrelevant but truth is the people I was intimate with, they meant something to me. And to think you were intimate with other women..it just truly hurts and puts me off reconciling. So I put down the phone in a rush tonight because I am no councellor and I don't know how to cope with these things when they come up. I am not as strong as you think and I am scared you'll see that.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If I called you up right now and told you I've decided to give you another chance I know you'd cry , get allllll emotional and tell me in your impressively convincing voice that 'this time round... You're going to change and everything will be different, that you'd make more of a commitment and there would be "no more lies, no more hearts being broken" and then, obviously expecting me to say sth like ' I love you... I can't function without you, I only want you... Noone else.'

That WOULD have happened and has happened in the past, but that was the old me. The weak me. The girl who put up with all your crap. And still, at the end of it forgave you and brushed it off and buried the pain.

I've changed. You've changed me. Right now, I'm no longer holding on to that. I'm looking ahead, to the bright future. My head is lifted and for the first time in 6 weeks, I believe I can make it.

 

I'll be the one that got away. I quite like that idea.

I know you're regretting everything right now. Haha. Too bad huh? Sucks how that happens yeah?

 

Have a nice life T.

Edited by Starrgrl
Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I emailed you tonight letting you know I might be getting a job. It's funny because I wasn't even nervous when I did it. And I haven't emailed you in ages either. But I told you to let me know if you still want to get together because I may not be seeing you around with my new job. For some reason, it makes me happy to think that I will be busy and distracted from now on, even though you will be with our friends at church. Maybe that's just what we both need now. I have a feeling God's hand is in this since I submitted a prayer card to stop obsessing about you and since my therapist told me to "take a break" from having you on my mind. This is undoubtly an answer to that prayer IF I get the job. It's just too perfect. And I applied for it last minute today. Wasn't even going to go online and I looked real quick and said "hey, what the heck, that sounds good" so I emailed the director and he called me back immediately and asked me to come in, said he needed someone asap. This will even allow me to finish my degree. I don't want to get too excited but I am looking forward to making a difference, having money, and doing something I enjoy other than thinking about you. Plus, my therapist said that even if we did get back together, I would need to be focusing on other things anyway in order to be healthy. So this is good. It doesn't mean you are gone forever. It means I can focus on something in my life and be productive. And it's part time so I can get my feet wet again. I've been struggling with depression and afraid that full time work would wear me out. Well this is 20 hrs/week (maybe a little more). Pay is not great, but it's a lot better than some of the jobs I've been applying for. I can finally buy a car and have a little spending money for activities again. Oh, please God! If it be your will.

 

Besides my mom, you are the first person I contacted. Heck, you said you wanted to be friends, right? So there you go. I highly doubt you will be emailing me back but it's ok because hopefully I will be too busy and excited with my new job to over-think about it.

 

I am thinking of you now, but good thoughts. Happy I could tell you about this opportunity. What would be even more awesome is if you could find yourself a good job, dump the rebound, and marry me. Aww, wouldn't life take a turn for the best? That sounds so awesome and gives me hope. Man, we could actually afford an apartment and maybe a wedding! And I could get my degree. Just think, we could have what we wanted and be happy. It is not even impossible! Oh man. If only your heart will open to that possibility. It would be so beautiful. I'm gonna keep praying. I know God loves me. I did something difficult for me to do the other day and I knew God was going to reward me for it (in fact, I said "maybe God will even give me a job") and this immediately happened after I have been looking for work for over 2 years. I can't count my chickens, but I am just even grateful for this last minute opportunity. Praise God!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Today somebody asked me if my ex had been in contact with me. I said "No" and that you hated me enough to block me from facebook and cut off all communication/ties with me. They asked me if I hated you. I said "No" and it's true. I don't really feel anything toward you anymore. You're a hazy, dim memory of a good and bad part of my life. I can't remember the little things or grand gestures you made for me.

 

You're just another stone on the trail and I've left you far behind me now.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I wanted to stay away from this thread because I dont want you to have this control over me.

 

But what the heck. Its hot - we are in the middle of a heat wave. The air conditioner is cooling this apartment down just nicely.

 

I found more lumps on the cat. I will admit, Im terrified. The last thing I need right now is to lose M. Shes finally come back around now that the dogs and that psycho cat (and you) are not part of our lives.

 

But on the flip side, I wanted to text or call and tell you that more of those lumps have appeared to find out what I should do and mostly, if I should be concerned about the areas they are in or if its just more fatty tissue.

 

But this is my new life without you. And so, I have to suck it up, find a new vet and spend money to have her looked at and tested...........I think I mostly just miss the ease of you taking her in with you to work, and the discount you got me LOL.....nothing more, nothing less.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I miss you

 

Its true.......but I get it. It just wasnt meant to be.

 

I just wish we were okay, and that it didnt get this far and ugly. But whats done is done. I fell madly in love with a stranger. I dont even know who you are anymore. But I do miss that girl I fell in love with so many years ago.

 

Take care you.......

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...