Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[FooledAgain]

So, my dear. You call me up in the middle of the night to say how he left you in the ty hotel room and went drinking with prostitutes. I cared. I saw real tears. I offered to bring you home. 3 days later its good by to Dave because you are working it out with Kevin. You know you were using me as a doormat. You've learned how

 

But not any more, No matter how many times you say you love me i know its a lie You either feel guilty or you want me for a fallback. Those are bulldhit reasons to say you love someone. I am not a loser who cannot get a better girl than youl I can find another you in a minute ans with just a little more effort I can find a better lady than you,

 

I should have kicked you out that first month when you begged to change. i am too soft. All you learned is to be a better liar, cheater and thief. But you manipulated me into falling in love with you, just as you have with the new guy. I'm sad to say a good looking girl like you will always land on her feet unless she get addicted to drugs and pregnant. For old times sake lets hope that does not happen but for now

 

Bugger off and respect the no contact rule. I hate what you did!

[FooledAgain]

What do I say. I am crazy for you. I want to text you because to not contact you is to admit you are not mine any more. Even though I know you were never mine for the last year. I shared you with more others than I had any clue about. Its so hard to believe, even when you admitted it was true.

 

How can anyone fake love for that long so that they can screw around without getting caught. I wish I could believe you loved me. You said the words and did the deeds and told the world and posted the pictures to prove it . . but it was all lies because you were still seeing others and doing the same thing with them. I am on the first day of No Contact and I know I will heal. Its just that I don't want to heal. I want my fantasy life back. What I did not know did not hurt me nearly as much as you leaving and making a real emptiness.

 

Even now I don't change my phone number in the slim hope that you will call. I don't even know why I want you to call. Perhaps to tell me it is not working with your first choice so you want to come back to me who is now your second choice? I really don't want that but some moments my self esteem is so low I would take that if it was all you could give.

 

Funny think is I realize I did not love you. I loved the character you portrayed in you brilliant way of acting so that you would keep me happy enough that I would never suspect your evil, dirty, other life. You could have done it forever if I never knew. Its so true that what you don't know don't hurt you.

 

So I will take that knowledge and refuse to look at any pictures or social media or take any phone calls or listen to any gossip that involves you. I don't want to even have a clue what you are up to now because: What I don't know don't hurt me and within 90 days of no contact I honestly won'd give a crap what you do with your life.

[Kissa]

 

So I will take that knowledge and refuse to look at any pictures or social media or take any phone calls or listen to any gossip that involves you. I don't want to even have a clue what you are up to now because: What I don't know don't hurt me and within 90 days of no contact I honestly won'd give a crap what you do with your life.

 

You are totally right, you don't miss or want her, you want the image of her you created in your head , "the Perfection", you wanna have the future you already had it all planned for years ahead. It hurts to give up on your "dream future". But it was a dream and is time to wake up, my friend, to the cruel reality.

 

Be strong and keep NC and time will show, if it's meant to be, will be. You done your part in this play, is nothing else tou can do at the moment. Looking for her will make you look pathetic and push you further.

[ShatteredMan]

I'm moving out or our building and I'm moving on. You chose to move on without me and its a shame. We could have had a real future. Your new guy isn't even on my level and you know it.

 

I actually feel sad for you. You've actually given me the gift of new found strength through renewed faith, a new emotional center and peace, a new sense of purpose. These may have been all the time but it took the heartbreak that I've been through to show them.

 

I've got someone new in my life. While she may not be as physically beautiful as you, she's everything that you aren't and never will be. An "upgrade" is an "understatement" in terms of emotion and support that I feel from her after just three months as to what you gave me after nine. While you may be the prettiest thing wherever you go, she's a doctor and that is an upgrade from a cruise director (which is what you're going to be the rest of your career unless this guy makes you a housewife). Don't you forget it.

 

I thought that you "won" by moving on with someone so quickly. I now realize that you never gave a damn and you didn't deserve me or anything I gave so freely to you including unconditional love and support.

 

I'm the real winner here. You'll realize it one day.

[Kissa]

Today I went to visit our mutual friend R, who recently found out she has cancer. She told me you have visited her at work and messaged her today, as I asked you yesterday, as she needs lots of support now.

She doesn't know about us, she was talking so nice about you. Nowadays I hate when people say good things about you, wish I could tell them you're not as good as they all thing you are.

Wanted to message so badly as I was joking and laughing with R to cheer her up and all I wanted is to cry, I'm scared to lose her.

She's starting her chemo next Tuesday, I so need you right now, but not gonna give you the pleasure to see me weak.

All I wanted to say...

[kaynine]

I'm broken because of you. You told me you loved me everyday. Told me that you could wait, told me that we were soulmates. But the moment you found someone else you ran.

Yes I could of been better, could of done more and loved you better. I just needed some space to work out what I wanted. And I realised that I want you and the life we had.

6 years you threw away. And now I'm here. Alone, confused and depressed, when your off living your life with your new "man".

[Sillybillycat]

I was so convinced that I didn't want you in my life again, until I saw that recent picture of you on my instagram last week. It took me by surprise, I didn't expect to bump into your face first thing in the morning. I haven't stop thinking of you ever since, but I wasn't quite sure why, until yesterday I couldn't hold it anymore and I just sat alone and sobbed, because I miss you so much. I suddenly understood (again) that we are never getting back together, even if you wanted to, because you broke some things that simply can't be fixed anymore. Seeing your face again just popped away my stupid fantasy of you thinking about me and missing me too. You probably are so self-absorbed that you don't even think of me. It's been 37 days of NC...

I miss you. I miss the man you were last year, I don't even know at want point you changed so much, and when did I stop being your person. You told me you loved me everyday, even those weeks before breaking up with me, you told me you loved me. Even the day you left, you did. You didn't seem to be lying, but apparently you were. What about all our promises?

 

I feel so stupid for being here again. I was feeling better and now I feel like I'm having to start over. I wish I could hate you, it would be much easier. I wish you weren't as successful, as arrogant, and as greedy. I know I shouldn't wish you bad things, but I really can't help but wish you were sad and alone, just as I am now.

[Samantha1121]

I loved you so much even though you continued to treat me like crap. You break up with me and leave me aching for you and keep coming in and out of my life as it suited you. You often made me feel like nothing I did was good enough. You would talk down to me, but then you would build me back up and cause me to forget anything negative that you said. Our relationship was toxic. I walked on eggshells around you to try and not rock the boat. I constantly tried to keep you happy and lost part of myself. I kept thinking if I kept trying then things would get better. It all backfired. You tell me that I wasn't a good communicator, which I admit, but it was because I was scared to cause conflict or have my feelings dismissed as me being too sensitive or me being crazy. You've started dating some new girl, and I'm sure you're in the honeymoon phase so it all seems perfect...but you will eventually end things with her. You text me and tell me you think of me often, and you miss me, and you miss our sex life. I WILL NOT come back the next time you come asking me to. I wanted to continue a friendship, but I can't right now, maybe not ever. I refuse to be treated like this again. I deserve someone who will love me as much as I love them. I deserve someone who I can feel comfortable talking to when something is bothering me. I have held you on a pedestal for far too long. I'm done.

[Casual]

I don't even really know what happened between us - its that confusing. Sometimes I think I have it figured out, other times I think I have gotten over it completely, but now I am alone and sad, and missing the security of something that I thought would be forever.

 

The best thing, the absolutely best thing though, is that I know that this breakup is a gift for me, to heal myself and to grow as a person. Do you ever think that? No, I imagine you think that you dodged a bullet, that I was awful and that you are happier now that you don't have to wind up with a mistake. Well I was awful sometimes. But you couldn't handle the ways in which I was awful, because you've got issues too. I bet you think you don't. But you you do. But you don't even see it. You can't stand to think someone is criticising you. Because you criticise yourself, always. You can't stand to think you're a failure. Because you do, you think you fail at everything. You can't stand to think you are incompentent. But you do think that, you think it always.

 

I know you're own mind is also a little private hell. I am sorry I contributed to that, there is no way out of that. You don't love yourself and i know that now. I don't either. Im doing something about it though. What are you doing? I dunno, but I am moving the f on.

[Sillybillycat]

I'm fine but, why did you do this to me?

[Pumpkin1985]

I miss you

[FooledAgain]

I keep listening to your lies and I keep believing them. You contact me on messenger with real tears in your eyes and tell me how you need to come back and then you send me an email saying the wedding to the new guy is already planned. Mixed messages and bullchit. Its always the same and I always let myself believe.

 

I would be foolish to take you back if you showed up begging on my doorstep, but why am i so foolish that I would actually welcome you home. You've acted like a bi*ch for the last year and these last 6 weeks of separation are just the icing on the cake. I could have another you in a minute. In fact I have sent away better girls than you since you've been gone, so why am I so addicted you hearing from you and seeing you and believing you want to come back.

 

This is just crap and I have to get over you. I will figure out a way.

[FooledAgain]

I will figure out a way.

 

I started contacting your new boyfriend and some of his family members to tell them a little bit about the double life you have been leading this last year. Wow did that get a response out of you fast. They don't know. They think you are some poor little waif that they are 'rescuing' but they don't know you are a lying scheming conniving witch. I am a but surprised as I thought they knew much more than they did.

 

But I don't want to destroy you. I just want to stop loving you. It seems the only way to do that was to declare a cold war where if you contact me, I contact your future inlaws and spill the beans. I still want to contact you every minute but I can deal with that so long as you don't call me every time you need a shoulder to cry on. So here's hoping this might work.

 

I also splashed pics and 'relationship tags' all over Facebook for my new romance. I get a deep satisfaction over you seeing this and all our mutual friends knowing I am moving on and you can say nothing because you do not want your new guy or his folks to figure out you are just a gold digger.

 

They will figure it out, but you are smart enough to get him to the wedding chapel in record time so it will be too late once they figure out what you are after. I am so lucky to be free of "this" you. You were not like this before and I don't know how you became such a materialistic, cold hearted witch but i suspect it was from hanging out with the wrong people on line who filled your head with ideas.

 

Anyway, I will let this all play out and keep my mouth shut and enjoy my new relationship provided you leave me alone. Why am i writing this here instead of to you? Because I still freaking love the YOU I used to know and if there is any of YOU in there then I don't want to hurt you. Take care and good luck with your scheme.

[layla21]

I hate it that even seeing your online status on Messenger still hits me hard ...

I've been doing so well to move on but I cannot bare the thought yet to block you so I deactivated my FB account and put our convo in the archive. Still, after seeing you accidentally online kept me thinking about who you are messenging with (your rebound girl?) and it hurt somehow.

I know it is my own fault and I may have overestimated myself but I didnt expect it to cause sth in me which I thought is gone. Please just f** leave my mind, the faster the better.

[penguin]

You really need to get some serious help, you are playing with people like toys and ruining people's lives and breaking their hearts... esp your children. You have pushed everyone away that ever cared and soon there will be no one to blame left..... why do you have no regard for anyone or anything at all? You must be so broken inside.

[jstudio]

Why can't I just see this for what it is... why don't you care like I do? I miss you every day. I wish this could have been different. I wish you wouldn't have proven to be such a liar. Why do I keep going around on this hamster wheel? Can't you see that all I want is for you to open your heart and at least respect me enough to talk to me, and tell me you forgive me? Maybe even just as a friend. Why did you lie and move in with my friend of 12+ years who chose your side?

[hurrycane]

even though i said be happy..i hope that you rot in hell and that new guy of yours,he is using you b****.open your damn eyes and look.he is playing you.once he gets what he wants he is gonna kick you out.and lemme tell ya dont come crying to me.i will happily push you into that cliff

[luisannalui]

I started contacting your new boyfriend and some of his family members to tell them a little bit about the double life you have been leading this last year. Wow did that get a response out of you fast. They don't know. They think you are some poor little waif that they are 'rescuing' but they don't know you are a lying scheming conniving witch. I am a but surprised as I thought they knew much more than they did.

 

But I don't want to destroy you. I just want to stop loving you. It seems the only way to do that was to declare a cold war where if you contact me, I contact your future inlaws and spill the beans. I still want to contact you every minute but I can deal with that so long as you don't call me every time you need a shoulder to cry on. So here's hoping this might work.

 

I also splashed pics and 'relationship tags' all over Facebook for my new romance. I get a deep satisfaction over you seeing this and all our mutual friends knowing I am moving on and you can say nothing because you do not want your new guy or his folks to figure out you are just a gold digger.

 

They will figure it out, but you are smart enough to get him to the wedding chapel in record time so it will be too late once they figure out what you are after. I am so lucky to be free of "this" you. You were not like this before and I don't know how you became such a materialistic, cold hearted witch but i suspect it was from hanging out with the wrong people on line who filled your head with ideas.

 

Anyway, I will let this all play out and keep my mouth shut and enjoy my new relationship provided you leave me alone. Why am i writing this here instead of to you? Because I still freaking love the YOU I used to know and if there is any of YOU in there then I don't want to hurt you. Take care and good luck with your scheme.

 

Oh wow man, what you have done. You are just hurting yourself. You give too much importance to her.

[luisannalui]

Why can't I just see this for what it is... why don't you care like I do? I miss you every day. I wish this could have been different. I wish you wouldn't have proven to be such a liar. Why do I keep going around on this hamster wheel? Can't you see that all I want is for you to open your heart and at least respect me enough to talk to me, and tell me you forgive me? Maybe even just as a friend. Why did you lie and move in with my friend of 12+ years who chose your side?

 

, she moved in with your friend? as couples?

[luisannalui]

You really need to get some serious help, you are playing with people like toys and ruining people's lives and breaking their hearts... esp your children. You have pushed everyone away that ever cared and soon there will be no one to blame left..... why do you have no regard for anyone or anything at all? You must be so broken inside.

 

Oh, you always knew this. The thing is that because she is not with you anymore you are starting to see her negatives side. Convenient isn't.

[downright]

quit giving me breadcrumbs. Yeah I know I contacted you first when I wasn't sober, but quit getting my hopes up by asking me to hang out when the conversation is going good. I mean I know, you're just keeping me on the end of your line. And I know, I am encouraging this. But I decided this 'weird' state isn't doing it for me anymore. So I deleted your number off my phone and you know, moving on slowly so just do you and don't initiate contact. I think we will have a better time that way.

[Lisii]

Oh wow man, what you have done. You are just hurting yourself. You give too much importance to her.

 

Yikes - I was thinking the same...

 

Fooledagain, you need to let go or you are going to make it worse for yourself...

 

((Hugs))

[FooledAgain]

Oh wow man, what you have done. You are just hurting yourself. You give too much importance to her.

 

I do give too much importance to her and I don't know how to stop. I am hurting myself every time I think of her or comment about her. I am taking valium to sleep at nights. I have started a new relationship with a much better girl and trying to move on but my reasons are all wrong. I tell myself if I give this new relationship 6 months then I will be staying with my new lady for the right reasons and I will have forgotten the old one. I hope that works as I don't know what else to try.

 

But I do not know how to stop feeling addicted to the ex. I just can't do no contact. It drives me nuts and even now I sent a message today, after telling her yesterday there would be no more contact. I am just hurting myself. I hate how I feel. I hate how I am 'harassing?" the ex by doing to make her think about me. Even though she has made good plans to move on and leave me out of her life I can't handle the rejection. I've done self help courses on line. I've had great talks with many friends who will listen. I have a great new girlfriend who will be there for me through thick and thin.

 

But I cannot stop the addiction. I am not addicted to drugs, or alcohol, or cigarettes (although I was a smoker and had a hard time quitting). I am just addicted to this one lady who is not even good for me. She was good "to" me when she wanted to be but not good "for" me as she lied, cheated, spent way over our budget, led a double life for at least a year and then left me for a better mark.

 

I know I need to stop this addiction. I just don't know how. I don't know what makes me send a message to her when I KNOW no contact is the only answer. It was only one short message, well maybe 2. But that is not NO CONTACT.

 

I think I need help and there are lots of people willing to help but for some reason the "advice" I get is not sinking in. I am told over and over "NO CONTACT" but that is like telling an alcoholic "No booze". Maybe I need a sponsor like they have in AA (at least thats what I see in movies as I have never been to AA)

 

I want to say I can handle this but I know I will find a reason to contact her again. I told her I cannot handle it if she contacts me any more but I sit here hoping she will do it anyway. What the heck is wrong with me. She's just a girl. The relationship was only 3 years. We have been separated for 6 weeks. She is happy with her new man and I have a new gf. WHY CAN'T I BE NORMAL? I'm not a kid any more. I should be very mature and in all other aspects of my life I am. Just this one thing really, really screws me up.

 

End of feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to go get some food.

[sunshine34]

I'm done messaging you and regretting it. You make me feel foolish. I am in control of my emotions and what I focus on. I want to establish some rules and hopefully be over this very soon... no more listening to oh wonder, no more doing things that make me sad bc of u. What does texting u and pining over you do for me ? Ruin my confidence and make me depressed. So it's time to do things conducive to me feeling good. No more messaging you. If I need to let it out I'm coming here . You played me like a fiddle and no more. Promised we'd be friends and then while I'm the one in a foreign country u are the one having issues texting me back ?!?! Even on my bday. U don't care for me one bit. Not as a person certainly not romantically, so u arent worth my emotions and energy. I've been tormented by thoughts of u and what I did and ur over there ignoring me.. I'm telling u I miss u and u are relishing in the complements while u pine over your ex.. never say it back yet that somehow opens he hole in my heart more to want to spill all of my guts as if u hearing how desperate I am will stop the bleeding or the gaping hole inside. Yeah I'm alone, yeah I'm empty but u don't deserve me and I'm not going to allow a person to treat me this way. Bye bye pictures of you. It's time to grow a pair, u aren't that special. U think everyone wants to hear u speak and u want to motivate people how?!?! What have u done?!? Owned a bar.. ok so that makes u tony ing Robbins ?!? No.. u are a selfish who doesn't care about the destructiveness of others bc ur instantaneous fix is more important and it's "justified" bc u "drop hints" and expect someone to read between the lines like fine print on an infomercial .dont come asking me to hang out weeks later when u just expect me to "fix myself " and get over it even tho u never even told me it was over... so u can use me as someone to talk to . That's not friendship. To be honest I would've been fine with u telling me , hey listen it's not going anywhere let's be friends.. you have some serious issues w ur ex and the worst part is, u will stay stuck on the past forever if nothing changes.. receiving I love u messages and being involved w her daughter is not moving on... somehow u love purgatory... u aren't even being fair to her!!! Yeah she cheated yeah it was wrong, but ur giving her false hope. Why? Bc u feel good continuing to punish her knowing she feels ed up bc u still do and u won't let her go... yet u have ur head in the clouds thinking u are "moving on" and by u not responding she knows it's done.. yeah I should've seen that red flag. U are just leaving destruction everywhere u go and it doesn't matter as long as Mike feels good . As long as u are fine that's all that matters.

[Imalone1607310460]

Dear Ex,

 

I am writing every word in agony. I don't know why I am so obsessed with you, though I clearly know you are not really my type, and we have problems. And it's been two months, I live in pain everyday. It's so painful to see you move on so fast, when I am stuck at the point where we separated. And you don't know. You live happily. I want to stop contacting you starting right now, to get back my life, my dignity and my happiness. Damn You !!!!!! Leave me alone!!!!!!