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Ex calls me twice in the past week...


jrosete

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Long story short.... was with ex for 4 years..10 months ago she ends up leaving me for her guy friend..I was trying to get her back for a couple months to no avail..I don't know if I'm still over her

 

So I haven't talked to her or seen her for 3 months. I get a call last week and it's her, asking me what I'm doing and where I'm at. I ask her if she's working at the same place and she says "yeah and I'm living with my brother and my boyfriend." This is some information I didn't need to hear. After we hang up, I get a text from her saying "Let me follow you on twitter". I don't respond.

 

So I get another call today. She asks me again what I'm doing and where I'm at. I said I'm at home. She says, "Are you cooking? Cook me some garlic chicken." I used to make her that all the time. I cut the convo short and hung up.

 

What's the deal with this scandalous girl? She's living with her piece of crap boyfriend that she left me for, yet she's calling me. Makes me wonder if she ever called her ex during my first year together with her..... What's the deal here guys?

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^^^^ DITTO

 

Shes likely going through a bad patch with the current boyfriend and reaching out to see if you are still available to her.

 

Tell her to get lost. Why would you want her back and when she ditched you for this guy friend. You are worth more than her and that kind of treatment.

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Listen to what wave said...

 

Also do two things my friend...

 

1st - put a rubber band on your wrist... everytime you have an emo or sad thought about this chick snap the rubberband... its negative reinforcement and it works very quickly...

 

2nd - Get yourself on a date... i know there's some lady you've been thinking about taking out... you put on the clothes that make you feel like a million bucks, gel up the hair, and walk up to her and tell her you would like to take her out.

 

All of this will take your mind off of the ex, which in turn will cause her to think of you more... If she calls or texts do what wave said or keep it EXTREMELY short... don't continue a convo...

 

GOod Luck

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^^^^ DITTO

 

Shes likely going through a bad patch with the current boyfriend and reaching out to see if you are still available to her.

 

Tell her to get lost. Why would you want her back and when she ditched you for this guy friend. You are worth more than her and that kind of treatment.

 

Yeah, the last year has been pretty rough. Obviously she doesn't know how much pain she put me through because she's calling me now like nothing ever happened.

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Listen to what wave said...

 

Also do two things my friend...

 

1st - put a rubber band on your wrist... everytime you have an emo or sad thought about this chick snap the rubberband... its negative reinforcement and it works very quickly...

 

2nd - Get yourself on a date... i know there's some lady you've been thinking about taking out... you put on the clothes that make you feel like a million bucks, gel up the hair, and walk up to her and tell her you would like to take her out.

 

All of this will take your mind off of the ex, which in turn will cause her to think of you more... If she calls or texts do what wave said or keep it EXTREMELY short... don't continue a convo...

 

GOod Luck

 

I just met somebody pretty cool last week that I'm interested in but a part of me still wants my ex. Ugh!

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Hmm.. Looks like you're in a sticky situation. She's trying to make you jealous to see if you got feelings for her still. Do you?

Anyways, let time tell. And find a hobby to get over her.

 

I've been keeping busy and I thought I was getting over her because we haven't talked for 3 months. And now this happens.... I wish she would've called like this when I was hurting immediately after the breakup. It's kinda too late for her to be calling me like this.

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I just met somebody pretty cool last week that I'm interested in but a part of me still wants my ex. Ugh!

 

im telling you man... rubberband around the wrist... not to tight as to cut off the circulation... but tight enough not to fall off...

 

it works

 

and put on that charm and get after that new girl!

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im telling you man... rubberband around the wrist... not to tight as to cut off the circulation... but tight enough not to fall off...

 

it works

 

and put on that charm and get after that new girl!

 

Thanks! I will. I'm taking her to some Laker games next month!

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When they will leave for someone else, one of two things will happen. The new relationship will either be better than the relationship you shared, or it wont.

If it's not, their thoughts will then turn to the ex and the previous relationship and that is what causes them to reach out. They come testing the waters and to see if you are still available. Judging by your reaction to this contact, you are giving them an indication as to how you are feeling about them now. Because you talked to her.....she likely thinks you are still available and open to reconcilliation, should things sour even more with this guy and she wants to return to you..

 

Thing is, if they will leave for someone else and once, they are capable of doing it again.

Would you want to be in a relationship with someone, while always wondering if and when she would leave you again and for the next guy who came along.

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I'm thinking they moved in together way too fast. Not even a year and they've been living together. Bound to get sick of each other.

 

To answer your last question, I don't think I want a relationship with her again. But I wouldn't mind having sexual relations with her. I'm ashamed to say that but it's the truth... she's very cute and hey, I'm a guy.. I can't help it.

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Having sexual relations with her will likely end up resulting in bringing back the warm, gushy feelings you had for her. So I would suggest you put sex with her out of your mind. Next time she calls just get off the phone quickly..don't even let her get into a conversation. As soon as you hear it is her tell her you are just running out the door. Keep blowing her off like that and she will soon get the message...plus it will trash her over-inflated ego showing her that you don't have time for her.

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Having sexual relations with her will likely end up resulting in bringing back the warm, gushy feelings you had for her. So I would suggest you put sex with her out of your mind. Next time she calls just get off the phone quickly..don't even let her get into a conversation. As soon as you hear it is her tell her you are just running out the door. Keep blowing her off like that and she will soon get the message...plus it will trash her over-inflated ego showing her that you don't have time for her.

 

I can understand why having sex with her would be detrimental for the op's healing process, but I don't understand why he should continue taking her calls.

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I can understand why having sex with her would be detrimental for the op's healing process, but I don't understand why he should continue taking her calls.

 

If he doesn't want to outright tell her not to ever call again, he could simply answer the phone and blow her off with "I am busy". It is a matter of his comfort level.

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If he doesn't want to outright tell her not to ever call again, he could simply answer the phone and blow her off with "I am busy". It is a matter of his comfort level.

 

How about, "I bear no grudges, however I need time to heal so please wait for me to contact you next time."

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