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I love him, he cheats. What now????


Happiest26

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What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First
If it were only that simple. But, thanks. You're a wise person. God bless!!

 

The hardest part is not picking another cheater. There are so many things I've learned along the way. I think with all my experiences I could pick a very good husband/father, but it took me so long to learn it I am all done having children!

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Cheaters lie, bend the rules, have an anything goes if you don't get caught mentality. Often they also cheat on other things like taxes and repaying debts. They lie, it's a habit and they don't just lie about their cheating. Some of them like to practice lying so they get better at it. They lie when the truth would be sufficient. And they are selfish, very selfish. They are nice only long enough to win your favor, and then they go right back to being selfish. They use anger to manipulate you. They blame you. Doesn't matter what it is, blaming involves wrongdoing so wrongdoing is on their mind a lot.

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Wow! You have lived MY life!!!

 

If half the people cheat, we had a 50/50 chance of marrying the same type. Charmers.

 

Does age have anything to do with it? A broken heart is a broken heart, right?

 

Very true, but age has a lot to do with how one deals with a broken marriage.

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Sweetie- he has no respect for himself or you. It will only get worse. If you like hanging around with him because he's fun or nice, then fine- but don't kid yourself that he'll be monogamous or faithful.

 

Men actually prefer being treated like * * * * . If you're nice, attentive and always there...BORING! There is no challenge left, nothing to work for. A guy can get a German Shepard that does that. I think you already know the the path you're on with this guy, so be prepared to just call him number 4.

 

As for your place in heaven, talk to your priest and he'll confirm that you're WRONG on that one.

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Cheaters, for me, cannot be understood in any way but that they are what they are.

 

They cast chaos, confusion, mixed messages, and the insanity that their behavior is a result of others'. Its like they truly believe that if only others would not be a certain way, then they would not do their things.

 

The perfect person for them is one who sports the type of trust and hope necessary to sustain the confusion of their masterful array of explanations and stories. I know, I've been there twice.

 

Now when I experience repeated patterns of confusion (my heart also will say one thing but my mind and/or gut say another), witness bizarre changes in behavior (like warm to very cold) one day to the next, or at worst feel like I might be dating more than one person in a single body ... I realize I might be being had again.

 

I say to Happiest run, run awaaaaaaay!

 

Right now your goodness is being torn apart and wasted by something awful. The God of my understanding would want you and your Godly heart safe from this kind of stuff. The God I know would want you in a different place to channel Goodness to good situations. Right now you are being taken by something that should not have you.

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If half the people cheat, we had a 50/50 chance of marrying the same type. Charmers.

 

Seems like a couple of years ago I started a thread about how to spot a cheater. I was very satisfied with what I learned from all the smart people here.

 

With such knowledge we can reduce these risks - not leave it so much to chance, perhaps?

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Okay I found it. Click Here for the start of the thread on Cheater Potential.

 

Here's some stuff from it:

 

  • meantime reminded me to learn from my past mistakes in partner choices.
     
  • birdgirl says trust my gut.
     
  • stillhappy added to take the time to get to know someone and watch for character flaws like sneakiness, selfishness. Look for their ability to say "no" in cases where good judgment and quality character can be witnessed.
     
  • stillhappy also added that I should keep my standards high and expect the same of others in my inner circle.
     
  • 2600degrees says two important things - know what I want and value. Also, he adds if someone is not comfortable around me in relation to their own baggage, they may stray.
     
  • Healinghands reminded me to look for an ability to communicate in the other person as well as for me to stay away from those who may be idealizing me and our relationship.

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Please walk from this cheater with your head held high. I thought the same thoughts... I loved my ex dearly, but he was cheating on me the entire time we were together. I decided to walk and I never looked back. It was the healthiest choice I have ever made, both for my health (no more worries about STDs) and for my emotional sake (no more grief and anxiety over whether he was sleeping around or lying to my face).

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Here's my cruelty statement of the day:

 

Why would he stop if you don't leave?

 

He's getting the best of both worlds - a relationship and something on the side.

 

Leave him first. Then start thinking about your relationship patterns and how to have better relationships in the future. Don't let your fears of not getting better keep you in a situation that will only get worse.

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