Need some advice about my ex...PLEASE!!!

[Rainy30]

can anyone give me some advice? I'm going out of mind. I know the following is long and boring but I really need some help! The situation is I recently split up with my boyfriend. We were together for about 1 1/2 years but everything happened so quickly.

 

We moved in together pratically straight away. This wasn't planned it just happened that my living arrangments weren't working out and 'for the mean time' I stayed at his. He pratically lives next door though and thats how we met.

 

From the start he had just come out of a relationship and didn't want to get into another one and I thought he wasn't really my type but as time wore on we ended up falling in love with each other but getting into a bit of trouble along the way. He is a heavy dope smoker and I found myself smoking everyday with him. My personality changed, I was always happy and positive and I became really down and negative about everything. I got pregnant and lost the baby. we argued a lot of the time, he had an enormous amount of worry due to debt and not having a job, and we never really had fun together but I couldn't seem to get out of the relatinship because I had fallen in love with him.

 

I ended up having enough with it all and broke up with him moved out immediately and told my family everything that had happened. They disliked him from the start and now they are determined for me and him not to get back together. We see each other pratically everyday as we live so close. After the split my live turned around, I got a good job and went straight back to being the happy person who laughed a lot. It hasn't been long at all (it's been 4 weeks!) and I have met someone else, although this guy is much more suited to me I can't help but thinking about my ex when I'm with him.

 

My ex has really tried to get me back, telling me constantly that he has changed and wants to marry me, although I never see it happening and felt free and relieved when I got out of the relationship I find my self thinking about him all the time, I keep secretely contacting him as I don't want him to go away and the thought of him being with someone else is killing me. I guess these are all normal things in a break-up, he was my first love. Does anyone have any advice? I've tried no contact and it went a week but we inevitably bumped into each other, we did just say hi and pass, but then he texted me and we ended up meeting and sleeping with each other.

 

This new guy is great but the sex is no where near as good as it ever was with my ex, it feels like it is making me want to go back to him more than get over him and get on with my life.I can't think clearly but I know that getting back with him would ruin relationships with my close family and although he says things will be totally diffferent, he now has a good job is paying off his debts and trying to give up smoking, I feel like my life will go completely downhill as it did before.

[Puckdog27]

So you want your ex back because the current guy isnt as good in bed? What if the next guy is better than both of them?

[drewciouS281]

you need to give it more time before you come to a decision. Look at your life now and how great it is. Sometimes certain people are just bad matches for you. The sex may be great or other things but is that really enough to damage your well being? i would wait longer and see who else you can meet and keep no contact as best as you can. Some people can change thier lifestyles but when you match that same couple up again, history often repeats itself.

[LillyLooWho]

Rainy, I hate to say it but if your family doesn't like him or doesn't think he's good enough for you, they are probably right. I used to not feel that way but the older I got the more I realized that they did know what they were talking about. Usually (I can't speak for all families) your family wants the best for you so their perspective is usually pretty good.

 

The new guy may not be the guy for you forever. But just because not everything is perfect is no reason to go back to your ex. Like Puckdog said, the next one might be even better than your ex.