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Today is a sad day - Finally made a decission !


Tarkan

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Today is a sad day for me,

 

I took the last rejection from that girl I talk in every topic (Probably because I've been obsessed about her for so long) . Maybe because I can't get her. Or is it she that doesn't want to be catched ? Who can tell ?

 

The last weeks have been an emotional peak for us. We would call eachother more often, tell eachother about our day or the weekend. She would tell me that she was thinking of me or that she was missing me ( a bit ). But then why would she not go out with me ? Most of the time, she comes up with lame excuses. ( "Don't have money", "Had to walk the dog", "I forgot", ... )

 

Well today I asked her out again and insisted a bit. She clearly said no and explained me that she was better off alone. Like I already explained, she never had a bf and never experienced anything like kissing or sex. ( that, of course, is what she claims ) Maybe it never had any importance to her ?

 

It does for me ! I want to be able to live love with the girl of my dreams. Making love to her while whispering sweet words as our corpses are intensely wrapped around eachother. Platonic love can be great to some extend but that's not enough for me.

 

She gave me hints that she's not into me that way: "I'm a girl who likes Platonic love only" she once said. That's maybe why she still flirts, why she tell me all these sweet things I like to hear. But meanwhile she's also pressing the last bit of emotions out of me.

 

In 25 years, I learned to know alot of women emotionally and sometimes more then that. But not a single one has left me as confused as this one. Her ways are impenetrable to me and I've always want to understand her. She made me feel things I never felt before. Never, in the past 25 years, have I been so much into a girl ! Yes, I've put her on a pedestall. But it looked dam justified !

 

Anyway, I took my last rejection from her. I can't take this game anymore, I can't take the pain anymore. Today it ends the way it should end: I will bravely move on. It will hurt me alot and it will be a painfull process but that is what has to happen if I don't want to contemplate death again !

 

She doesn't know how I feel about this and I didn't care to explain. If she wants to hang out with me again, I'll say "no". When she'll ask why, I'll tell her the same things as here. It saddens me that I have to restrain any friendly bounds with her. But the more I'll be confronted to her, the more it will be painfull. Well, I'll be confronted to her every day at school but I will have to endure this "only" for one year.

 

Maybe one day, she'll eventually realise that such compatible beings as us were went to live together. But I guess it's the obsessive me who is delusional again. Some of the best times I had in my life were with her. I'll miss them.

 

I really want to be a friend. A good friend is always there. I don't hate her and I want her to be happy but for my own good health I'll have to avoid her for some time. I also accepted a date for next week with another person. Do you think it's the right way to act ? Should I put my friendship with her aside for some time ?

 

Time to move on, now I accept it

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Dude...you seriously need help. This girl has given you MORE than a few subtle hints, and you continue to entertain these delusional thoughts involving your corpses and making love.

 

I suspect you are suffering from OBSESSIVE LOVE. Go to Wikipedia and look-up the article on "Obsessive Love" so you can understand some of the things that are happening to you and hopefully get a grip back with reality.

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