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Taking The Lead

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Heres the situation,

 

would checking your SO's emails and finding out she was emotionally cheating on you be considered wrong when you bring it up?

 

For example if it lead to a break-up, would you feel justified in checking that person's email? Even though you know it was the wrong thing to do?

 

I found out on 3 separate occasions she was emotionally cheating and each time I felt bad doing it, but time and time again she proved she was lying.

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Reading your SO's e-mails without their permission is always wrong, yes.

 

If you're feeling tempted to do so, the truth is, you already have a big problem in your relationship. Even if you don't find anything, that problem (of not trusting your partner) is going to persist and continue to cause more problems and bad feelings.

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You have to have trust that she is not doing anything outside of the boundaries that you have set for your relationship...otherwise, the relationship will not last. E-mails are very personal and private and I would be miffed if my boyfriend looked without my permission...but, if they happen to be open and he's with me looking at the computer...then no problem. Basically, I want to feel that there is no "snooping." If there is a need for this...then there is a BIG problem in the relationship. Honestly, given your GF's track record, things don't look too great for your future with her. It might be best to re-evaluate whether or not you want to be in a relationship with her. Good luck!

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Although the other posters are correct in stating that snooping is wrong, I have to say that I was in your boat exactly. And each time I "snooped" I found that my partner was unfaithful and they continued to lie to me until the truth was put in front of them.

 

Even though it is wrong, when you just can't admit to yourself that this person is no good you need the proof that snooping gives you to finally put an end to the relationship. And as far as their privacy is concerned, I feel they lost that right when they decided to start cheating.

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I think generally people only snoop when the person has been acting a bit strange/untrustworthy and usually they find snooping was justified.

 

In other cases the person is purely nosy or insecure and I think snooping in general is an invasion of privacy.

 

But if it meant I found out my bf was cheating. I'd feel justified

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If I had a suspision that something was off, or had a gut feeling, or knew that things were a little different, and I snooped and found it..well I guess to a certain extent I would feel justified in the sense that I had a feeling that there was something going on, and this just proved it.

I would end the relationship, and move on.

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