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Is it ok to break no contact when you don't want them back anymore?


greeneyes1983

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I split up with him about 3 months ago, he has someone new straight away, initially I was devastated but have moved on and met someone else and can see it was the right thing to happen, I miss him as a friend more than boyfriend but I have told him not to contact me and he has respected my wishes and not contacted me. There have been a few big events in my life recently and I would love to talk to him about them would I look stupid now making contact? Shall I just continue nc and not think about being friends

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Okay two points to consider...

 

1) If you really are happy with your life now and not even a single part of you wants him back, then why do you want to open a can of worms by contacting him?

 

2) I think on a subconscious level you miss him as more than a friend, but seeing as you have someone new now who makes you happy why not divert that energy onto him and tell him about your exciting news!

 

3) If said new boyfriend knew you were talking to your ex again, it would make him insecure, do you really want to put strain on this new relationship? Its not very fair on your new boyfriend.

 

Just have a think about it and if you genuinely want to be friends (considering his gf may not like this either) then be my guest, but imho some things are best left in the past.

 

xxx

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Nope.

 

Friends after a relationship are not good IMO.

 

You will see him go out with other people.

 

You being there with the other people in his life is going to cause drama. . . .

 

Hold on.

 

Is that what you want?

 

To be there to be remembered while he is with these other people?

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You are supposed to be happy with the new guy (which I suspect is a rebound since it has only been 3 months since the split and your ex immediately rebounded with someone else so you were hurting and grabbed the next person in order to have someone as well). If you are this blissful with the new guy, why the desire to contact your ex...he should be out of your head now that you are in the honeymoon phase with someone else. This someone else should be fulfilling the need of someone to talk to. Ask yourself this question...if the current guy you are seeing just ended a relationship in the last few months and decide he wanted to be in touch with his ex to talk about the big events in his life, how would you feel about it? Both you and your ex have new partners...it is not fair to the new partners to start being in contact, particularly so soon after the relationship between you two ended.

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I'm not really sure why you would want to contact him if you have really moved on - you have someone else to share you news with now.

 

Maybe it is a case of "old habits die hard" but I think there must be more to it than that and do you really think its fair on your new boyfriend or his new girlfriend. It is probably the last thing they want.

 

Do you think you really are 100% over him? Contacting him could potentially cause a lot of pain ... including to yourself.

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I split up with him about 3 months ago, he has someone new straight away, initially I was devastated but have moved on and met someone else and can see it was the right thing to happen, I miss him as a friend more than boyfriend but I have told him not to contact me and he has respected my wishes and not contacted me. There have been a few big events in my life recently and I would love to talk to him about them would I look stupid now making contact? Shall I just continue nc and not think about being friends

As your title says..I dont want him back. If you really dont want him back then stick to it is the best thing to do.

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I would continue NC for now--three months is not long at all, and once you've re-established contact it will be hard to go back to NC if you realize that you're actually not ready for a pure friendship. And being in contact with a recent ex, even just as "friends" (putting friends in quotes because it's very unlikely that neither of you have ANY romantic feelings remaining for the other one), is going to make it much harder to focus 100% on the new relationship.

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I'm not really sure why you would want to contact him if you have really moved on - you have someone else to share you news with now.

 

Maybe it is a case of "old habits die hard" but I think there must be more to it than that and do you really think its fair on your new boyfriend or his new girlfriend. It is probably the last thing they want.

 

Do you think you really are 100% over him? Contacting him could potentially cause a lot of pain ... including to yourself.

 

I agree is there a specific reason as to why you want to contact him?

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I'm going over some rough times right now too.

 

but here is my thoughts about you. Don't contact him, you're the one who asked him to not contact you.

 

You can't just change on a dime because you want to. Think about your Ex's feelings. When you told him to never contact you, think about how it must have felt for him at those times.

 

and now you want to contact him and show him your new found love? (or so you think it is, because I don't think you have gotten over him, or else you wouldn't even have started this topic) If you EX really loved you, this will hurt him to no ends.

 

as for being unfair to the new guy, think about how he will feel if you contact your ex. He'll just feel like he was the rebound.

 

Honestly, I know we can all be a little selfish and self centered sometimes, but really it will be a bad idea to contact him solely for your own interests.

 

 

Be strong, live up to your words. But if you truly still hold feelings for your EX, tell your current bf about it so it is fair to him and waste less of his time. Tell your EX, and it is up to him to choose whether it is time to go back or not.

 

Sometimes people don't realize what treasures they once had until they have lost it. I'm one of those people too.

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No, you should not contact him. You agreed on no contact for a reason. He was never your friend to begin with, so why the sudden need to contact him with things that are going on in your life? You should focus your extra time on making your new relationship work rather than going back to the old one. How would you feel if the tables were turned, and the guy you were seeing was doing the same with his ex girlfriend? I'm sure you wouldn't like that at all. You broke up for a reason, you should stick to it and move on.

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