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How to tell if you're the type of person for an LDR?


TBE_1989

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To make a long story short, I have (finally met an amazing guy. I'm mad about him, and he feels the same way about me.

 

Problem is, he lives in a different country.

 

He said he'd normally never contemplate long-distance but feels he has to because of me. I'm not getting my hopes up (my first broken heart was down to a guy being crazy about me but saying he couldn't do long-distance so it had to end), but if he's thinking about whether or not he's the type of person to handle an LDR, then, so do I. It's not uber-long-distance, btw, midlands of England to Eastern Ireland (Dublin.)

 

Only problem is, I don't know how to tell! Obviously I'm not asking people to tell me if I can handle it, lol, no one here knows me, but is there any criteria or guidelines to be able to tel if I can handle it? Hopefully asking this question will help lots of other people out as well.

 

In some ways...I think I could handle it. I'm introverted (so is the guy), like time alone, can go long periods without seeing people I love. I can handle going without sex and physical intimacy - hell I haven't had sex in 15 months! I have lots of other things going on in my life to keep me busy.

 

On the other hand...I can be very clingy and posessive in relationships - not good things to be in an LDR. I do hide these traits well, though. Also I worry a lot about technological communication, eg: ''he didn't say hi on msn! WHAT'S WRONG?!'', ''he didn't text back, WHAT'S WRONG?'' kinda thing.

 

So any ideas would really help and again, I hope this thread can help other people in a similar position.

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You have to be realistic with LDR's. Especially if you two aren't weighing the options of possibility of one of you moving if it became a serious relationship. It could become a serious relationship but if you two cannot be together, it's going to take its toll in the end.

 

It's not that LDR's don't work but in any relationship physical contact is very important and cannot ignore that fact. It's one reason why I suggest to people, unless you're willing to possibly move to another city, state or even to another country, you need to let go before anything becomes too serious.

 

I was in a similar situation, either I let her go or commit. After moving 3,000 miles I never looked back. It's no fairy tale but anything is possible

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"On the other hand...I can be very clingy and posessive in relationships - not good things to be in an LDR. I do hide these traits well, though. Also I worry a lot about technological communication, eg: ''he didn't say hi on msn! WHAT'S WRONG?!'', ''he didn't text back, WHAT'S WRONG?'' kinda thing."

 

It's very important to trust eachother in an ldr. Not just trusting as far as cheating, but trusting eachothers intentions and sincerity behind your words and actions. Id suggest starting off slow until you get to that point. Because I don't think it's something that comes easy... fully trusting. By taking it slow I just mean proceeding with caution and not convincing yourself right off the bat that he's "the one".

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