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Picky people: online dating & dating in general, who to choose.


c579j

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I'm new to online dating, and pretty inexperienced in dating in general. (never had boyfriends in hs or college, had a few relationships just over the past years, which I initiated). I've noticed I'm very picky, even when friends try to set me up. I get the feeling he's more into me that I am in him, or I just feel awkward with the blatant set-up, that I end up being turned off.

 

Does anyone have tips for online dating and who to choose? (I find it's somewhat superficial b/c you're judging the person's picture and what they decide to post) Of course I have some things I'm looking for, but I'm sure there's a lot of shy, nice guys that I'm overlooking.

 

Or dating in general?

For the picky people: How did you initially choose people to date and what made you give them a 2nd date? (Whether friends set you up, you met someone on the street, or they hit on you at a bar, etc.)

 

 

IMO, this may sound harsh, but I don't want to go around dating just ANYONE, but the point is to meet new people, right? I was at a concert at a park and told a friend, there's a lot of single guys around, why are we not meeting? Should I try to initiate conversation? She said, you want to meet people, but the RIGHT people (I'm guessing sane? lol), not just anyone.

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I would try to get more traditional dating experience under your belt before trying online, maybe not years worth, but some.

 

If you go straight to online, of the men you find attractive and interesting, pick the ones who send you a personalized first email (avoid winks and form letters) ask you for your phone number in the first few emails, call you soon after, and ask you out on a date. This will weed out lots of chaff. Resist the urge to spend lots of time getting to know them via text, IM, email, before meeting in person. Meet quickly. Nix men who show up at the first date professing feelings for you or trying to plan a future from the get-go. Nix those who start contacting too much after a single date. Any man worth having is going to call you to ask you out and not have interminable chats until you get to know each other over several dates.

 

Also, if a man writes you a legitimate personalized email, and you aren't interested, use the simple "not interested" mouse click feature to let him know.

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I would try to get more traditional dating experience under your belt before trying online, maybe not years worth, but some.

 

The thing is, I just don't meet guys. I don't think I would consider dating guys at my job (cuz it's work...), and I have mostly female friends, who I usually hang out w/ one-on-one. Have taken classes, but realized that with art classes, again, it's mostly women. Friends have tried to set me up and I'm not so interested.

 

When I do go out, I get hit on by less than desirable men (old men, ghetto, just weirdos, where's the normal people?). I always see a lot of cute same-aged guys in my city, but not sure how I feel about approaching them (and they should approach me dammit! lol). How have you've met people traditionally?

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Online dating...I just send emails back and forth with them if I feel there is potential. I look at photos (they can tell a lot)..and if the profile matches up to the photo..then I'd respond to their messages. I think online dating is good for people that have a knack for analyzing people. You have to have good instincts. If you don't, it will come with experience..you'll get better at filtering profiles and all.

 

Offline dating...yeah..haven't done so. all of my dates and the one relationship (if you can even call it that) originated online. Incredible what the Internet has done for me.

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