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I feel stuck!


YZRiderF
Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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I will try to sum it up quickly.... A girl from work who I somewhat had a crush on too told me she had a crush on me so I was happy. I finally get the balls to ask her out and we have a good time. We go out again and we kiss and all seems great. But, I feel like were stuck in the same spot, a goodnight kiss and thats it. Weve been on 8-9 dates now with just the two of us.

 

I know its mostly on me and I need to make a move. But I feel like she doesnt like me haha. Even though she has told me does. But I never get that vibe from her, at work we dont really speak all that much even. Which is kinda good I do want to keep everything separate but I mean we barely talk and were both servers so we are around eachother alot. Also, when she talks she never really looks me in the eyes. She is an outgoing girl as well. Also, I put my arm around her the other night and she doesnt even really touch me back or anything its hard to explain but there seems like theres not much of a reaction. Although we went to a concert and after it was over and what not she texted me and said she wanted me to hold her hand.

 

She says I am so confusing and she has no idea what I am thinking. I also didnt even kiss her last night (sat night) after the drive ins when I walked her to her door. She walked infront me and kinda kept her distance so I said my goodbyes and went on my way and was pretty bummed. Then she texts and says another example of why you are so confusing you walk me to my door and no hug or kiss. But regardless I had fun with you tonight. I just sent back I wasnt sure if you wanted me too and I dont try to confuse you I do like you. She sent back I wanted you too! meaning to kiss her.

 

I just dont get it. At one time she said its the guys job to make the moves. She must really be set on that mindframe. Im very frustrated to say the least and on the verge of calling it quits. She also told her friend she can see herself being a couple with me, but said she didnt think I was ready so I dont know. Doesnt seem like shes all that into me when I see her. Is tryin to play it cool? Waiting for me? What!!!?

 

Any advice? Im going to an amusement park with her tomorrow.

 

Thank you!

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Ok, two things came to my mind while I were reading this.

1) Always assume the sale. Meaning always think she's into you because this will change the way you act around her. Ask successful salesmen, they don't second-guess if their customer wants to buy what they sell, they assume it.

2) Stop over-analyzing. It's a classical mistake a lot of men make and closely related to no. 1. Show her that you've got a sexual interest in her. Kiss her, make out with her, touch her, go to bed with her. Just do it. She'll tell where to stop. You're the man and you have to take the lead!

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Ok, two things came to my mind while I were reading this.

1) Always assume the sale. Meaning always think she's into you because this will change the way you act around her. Ask successful salesmen, they don't second-guess if their customer wants to buy what they sell, they assume it.

 

Love that piece of advice I am really gonna try and use this next time we get together.

 

But we never seem to have any dates yet where we are really alone and have privacy really. This whole thing is kinda bummin me out so I want to turn it around fast!

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Also, from everyones posts seems like its me holding the relationship from the next level.

 

This is basically the second girl I have ever dated. my previous relationship was 4 years and that started back in highschool and ended last october. So This is really new to me.

 

Should I try to kiss her as soon as I see her tmr and make a joke about not kissing her on sat night?

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...

But we never seem to have any dates yet where we are really alone and have privacy really. This whole thing is kinda bummin me out so I want to turn it around fast!

 

Do you know what cars are for? ;-) And kissing in public is not illegal...

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Haha after seeing these posts i feel silly. But I honestly get a vibe most of the times that shes not that into me. Yet I hear otherwise.

 

But I held her hand and had my arm around her yesterday and gave her a pretty damn good kiss I would like to say last night haha. But She introduced to me the rest of her family and we had a good time. She also said after I kissed her that she was really happy I finally held her hand.

 

Anyway I used your advice. When I had any doubts I thought of what you said lol so thank you.

 

I still need alot of work but its a start for me I guess.

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