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Keeping more than in touch while on different schedules


Keraron

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How can we not just keep in touch but also continue developing our relationships/friendships with others when life's events take us onto different paths?

 

Jobs, relocation, new places, etc. they all make us start a new life, and although it is normal that people separate over time, I have always made a conscious effort to keep my friends close to me wherever I go.

 

Even when I entered university, I let my family friends and high school friends mix with my college friends. I would organize a dinner, a night out walking and partying, going to see a movie, etc. and quite often there are even new relationships building among them.

 

Sometimes however, I feel that the distance gets so large that I feel very alone. This happens especially when I am fully immersed in studying for exams while other friends might be already on holidays and doing other things on their own

 

It's not bad for them... but those are moments in which I feel distant and miss my friends most.

 

I am still at university. I wonder how it will be when we are married and have our own jobs and entirely different time schedules.

 

Do you have any ideas on how to improve and keep relationships/friendships developing despite totally different life schedules?

 

Thanks

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I think commitment to the friendship is a big part.

 

Since finishing school, so many of my friends have moved away, gotten married, started families, etc. We're all on different life paths.

 

Being understanding is also important.

 

We always make a point to take time for chatting on MSN, sending email updates, keep up with holidays & birthdays with a card & letter, photos.

And when we're in each others towns, we make the time.

 

The friendships have definitely changed, its not the same "Spend every waking minute with my best friend.." like when we were younger. It's more having my own life, and having my friends there for me when I need it, and enjoying the times when we are home or visiting.

 

In the mean time, I find myself making alot of aquaintances, people to help fill the time in between seeing my real true core friends.

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Good friends will stay good friends even if the life path is a bit different and there is not as much time. Good friends will always take the time to connect with each other. Also, not all of the friends a person sees on a regular basis are actually "good friends". Amount of time one spends with a person doesn't necessarily mean it is a quality friendship. Sometimes quality friendships are with people you may not necessarily see very often but they come through for you in a time of crisis.

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While I'm not "old", I did have some adult years that were pre-email and pre-cell phones. I think between texting and emails and cell phones, it's sooo easy to stay in touch with whomever you'd like to. It might not be as personal and intimate as seeing them in person...but it's possible.

I agree that life will take you down some different roads and you'll be able to keep in touch with some friends more easily than others and also make some new friends along the way.

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I think commitment to the friendship is a big part.

 

Being understanding is also important.

 

 

The friendships have definitely changed, its not the same "Spend every waking minute with my best friend.." like when we were younger. It's more having my own life, and having my friends there for me when I need it, and enjoying the times when we are home or visiting.

 

In the mean time, I find myself making alot of aquaintances, people to help fill the time in between seeing my real true core friends.

 

 

I am still trying to 'be understanding' of these changes. I know it's always different, than in college, when friends are easily at your disposal. For me, I moved to a big city to be closer to those friends, but for some reason most of them have moved on and I've gotten tired of certain friends saying no to my plans. Only 2 or 3 have truly kept in touch. I used to look at people at work as just people who are there, but should really try to build new relationships. I've found that some aquaintances can turn into good friendships. For some reason, my contact with people end up being once a week or every 2 weeks, I just need to find more people at my disposal, lol.

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