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I have never had any friends...


Loners

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I don't know why but no one ever wanted to be my friend. People may approach me and talk to me in the beginning but when they get closer to know me they don't like what I am. It has been this through my whole life and has just gotten worse through my short life of 19 years. I guess this world just doesn't want me.

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I wouldn't be so down on yourself.

 

I'm not saying this is the case, but could it be that you're subconsciously pushing people away? That's what I do, thus why I'm in a pickle of having few-no friends right now. Maybe you're not trying hard enough to be with other people.

 

This may sound like the opposite of what you want to hear, but consider it. I'm only saying this because I do the same thing and then claim people don't like me. This may not be the case for you.

 

It could also be your body language. Maybe you make yourself look like you have this shield up and that you don't want to be involved. Try to look up positive body language and practice it.

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I don't know why but no one ever wanted to be my friend. People may approach me and talk to me in the beginning but when they get closer to know me they don't like what I am. It has been this through my whole life and has just gotten worse through my short life of 19 years. I guess this world just doesn't want me.

 

Sometimes I feel that way too. I mean, I have a couple of good friends, but there are some people that I would like to call my friends, but they don't initiate contact ever and that frustrates me so I stop, or they don't respond and that frustrates me. This has gone on my whole life as well. I wonder if shyness has anything to do with it. The past couple of years, I have become more vocal (why, I am not sure) and I am not sure that people like that either. Then, there are people who comment that I am fun, so I don't know.

 

I have been thinking about this very topic a lot lately. I think I just need to get myself out there more. Maybe I am too much of an open book...people tend to know a lot about me, but they never seem to give up too much information about themselves. It seems like most people drink a lot in order to have fun and I am not that big of a drinker, sometimes I think that is off-putting. There are so many different reasons that it could be and they could be different for each person. I also find it goes in cycles.

 

Just keep trying to meet new people. That is what I am going to do. It is better than just getting into the rut of staying home by yourself.

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I don't know why but no one ever wanted to be my friend. People may approach me and talk to me in the beginning but when they get closer to know me they don't like what I am. It has been this through my whole life and has just gotten worse through my short life of 19 years. I guess this world just doesn't want me.

 

Oh, i would be your friend I would love to have a teenager i could be friend with (and that's in a non-creepy way )

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I don't know why but no one ever wanted to be my friend. People may approach me and talk to me in the beginning but when they get closer to know me they don't like what I am. It has been this through my whole life and has just gotten worse through my short life of 19 years. I guess this world just doesn't want me.

 

I've always been a loner too. And I'm 30, and still don't know why it is that so many other people I see everywhere are forming friendships, while I'm always alone. It's really hard when you don't know what it is about you that might be putting people off. I wish we could just have a day of honesty, where everyone just tells you straight how they see you. But people are polite, and sensitive about hurting others, so we never get any feedback.

 

I'm not a good person to advise, because I haven't made much progress in this area, but whatever it is that you're doing wrong, you're more likely to improve if you try to observe and empathise more with the people you meet. Think of what questions they might like to be asked, and listen. Observe how they respond to you, and learn from it.

 

As for me, even though I'm not making much progress in learning how to make friends, the extra time I have alone is a great opportunity to work on myself. Focus on improving myself in many ways, and getting to know and love myself. And this ends up making me more confident in the world, so people tend to have more time for me as I get more happy and confident in who I am. And that helps.

 

Oh, and one more cheesy piece of advice, that I'm kind of embarrased to write. But if you're like me, and a bit socially inept, maybe read "how to make friends and influence people." It's really old, but kind of good.... Just acknowleging that you're a bit inept can be good start to improving things. Try new approaches. It's kind of awkward, trying new ways of talking to people, but at least you're moving forward rather than stagnating and getting older.

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I don't know why but no one ever wanted to be my friend. People may approach me and talk to me in the beginning but when they get closer to know me they don't like what I am. It has been this through my whole life and has just gotten worse through my short life of 19 years. I guess this world just doesn't want me.

 

try selfhelp books on that subject; Google some advice on how not to be a loner; go to a school, college counselor, there are free counselors that should be able help you in your area with being more outgoing maybe, i was a loner a few times growing up, but I ended up working out getting out there, joined the wrong crowd any made many ignorant freinds something I recomend you restrain from; I found good freinds in the basketball courts, the gym, school, just activities, volunteering to feed the poor; lately i just been slugish getting out of shape but Ima take a small step today and keep working towards porgress

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I think if you stay positive and seek out people with similar interests and motivations as you then inevitably you'll meet someone you click with. I have sometimes found it hard to make friends because I am kind of reserved and it takes me a while to open up to people but I have always been able to find somebody who likes the same quirky things as me ;0)

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I never thought anyone would respond to this post. In my ears my post sounded like a loser who should get over it.

 

Anyway, I have actually read a lot of the so called "Self-improvement"-books and articles but instead of helping me I really don't get anywhere. I just sit down reading about it then reading the next chapter or article then reading the next again. Yeah, I know I should try the advice but fact is that I feel I need someone to help me not words written on a paper or anything. But without any friends it seems quite difficult to achieve that.

 

I have also tried out seeking out clubs and other places where I might share interests with others. But this is where "People may approach me and talk to me in the beginning but when they get closer to know me they don't like what/who I am" comes in. They greet me in the beginning only to turn more and more rude towards me and in the end seeing me as a weirdo or something.

 

I am just beginning to hate life. I have thought much about this but life just doesn't want me to be happy. All I ever wanted was a friend. Just one friend! Is that too much to ask?

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I feel for you. But please remember you are so young and have a lot of opportunities still yet to come! I know it's cliche but tomorrow is a new day. Have you tried initiating doing some sort of activity with someone you see as a potential friend? This is something I have to work on myself. I put all of the weight on other people to come up to me or invite me to do something.

 

Also, it's a numbers game. You've got to keep meeting new possible people to be friends with cause you won't want to be friends with everyone you meet. Maybe make some online friendships and then meet in person?

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@ Loners

Just have believe on yourself. Don't concentrate on negative aspects of your life. It you had believe on yourself that you are a good friend, than it is going to project to others. It is said that like poles repels, but in life it's just opposite. So, start thinking positively and see what happens. If you continue to concentrate on why you are not getting good friends, whats wrong with you etc. then it will not help you, it will make the situation more worse.

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All my good friends in highschool were in marching band becasue I was in marching band. Most of my college frineds are all in the marching band or past roommates. most of those I know are associates or aquaintances.

 

When I see the things that happen between friend,s I really don't know if you are that poorly off. And at some point i nyour life you will realize all the people you are friends with are either people who are associated with a hobby you do or people you work with, and your family - the rest of the world is too far away.

 

Dont; be so sad, jsut hold your head up and forge yourself into the best person you can!

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