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ive picked my date july 29th, my birthday


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that was a quick reply...


but ive got into a situation that has no positive way out,


if i go, you will be upset..

if i stay, i dont think you could feel the same towards me.. i understand if youve lost trust, security, friendship.. everything...



ive screwed up

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toggle... you know me better than that... you've not lost my friendship or trust that is why we are here! do you really think id still be here if we didnt...

There can be ways to help you get a better life.. but im not goin through it now.

im here for you until... until the end i regret to say. im here for you i really am


hope is lost

heart cut in two

splitered by the bomb

that was laid on you

leave now

but ill stay

ill pick up the pieces

and walk away

die before im ready

or maybe just in pain

but either way

itll never be the same

to look at my face again


scared in insecurity

with tears i cannot weap

a heart that cant talk its worth

from my mind has pressured deep

hands that shake

and skin thats red

all the voices in my head

but none can single out

a single word ive said

useless to the world

im better off dead

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You will realize as you are trying to kill yourself that is not worth it you have to look fruther down the road and look at the positive side turn to the Bible it will help also prayer god has better things for you down the road and they soon you will find your confindence and you will get back on track.


Just hang in there it can't get much worse just have faith for your guideing light .

I was like that a month ago


Hang ni there man you can make it

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  • 3 weeks later...

Just reading this last page let me say this.


Think of all the things that you will miss if you kill yourself. I was going to go through with it and right now I'm so frikking glad I didn't. I thought my life was over when it was only just beginning. If you really think about it hard I'm sure you'll see the same things.


If I'm not mistaken you wanted to end your life last july. Well look back over the last few months at all that's happened. Think now, would you have experienced any of it had you been dead. Sure there were some bad times but I'm damn sure there were some good times aswell.


Remember nothing heals if it doesn't hurt first.

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Perspective: being a teen truly sucks. You feel that you have no power, and you're not really at a place in your life where you feel you have a say in anything that happens to you.


Perspective: You won't be a teen forever. The things that you don't feel are happening in your favor will happen eventually. And you won't always be so helpless in your own life. Life was never meant to be easy. And only cowards give into the difficulty. Do you want your last thoughts to be of how you regret taking the cowards road, knowing that you can't take it back?

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  • 3 weeks later...

YOu are almost an adult!!! Beeing a teen sucks...i was bullied and kicked and hated toO!! But now i am older there are so many people (including hot girls) who I am friends with and I am generally well liked....you have so much a head....a career....friends....girls.....travellss......soo much!!!!!! It may suck now, but it will get much better....trust me because I was where you are, and it got much better for me, so it will get much better for you too!!!!

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Dude , do yourself a favor, go get a hobby, golf, fishing, skateboarding, something to get off your butt and do something, you are way too young to be considering this. If you were terminal or something I could understand it , but this is not a reasonfor suicide anything you have mentioned, this is a cry for help, there has to be some kids your age in yur neighborhood, you cannot be that ugly and no one wanting to be around you, maybe you are going through puberty, hang in there, you will get a girlfriend, heck i didnt get a steady girlfriend until i was @ 20, i had buds to go hang out with though and do stuff, id rather benn with them then anyhow, so get off your butt, find somethign you like to do and go do it, you had to like to do something before you got this way. And do yourself a favor, do not get hung up on antidepressants. go order some helath stuff for depression, go do a google search for depression+health that will help get you through this.

you could be worse and have skin cancer or somethng really to worry about. get ina club at school or something geesh man. chess, golf , football, baseball or some sport you like, surely you are good at something sports wise. hang in there you will be fine.

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everyone has dreams. dont you wana try and live them? sure youll be met with disappointment but just get back up and dive back into it. neway here in new zealand i think we have it great. no bullys in my school, good friends. try joining the army or something. where you are forced to live with other people. then youll make good friends and hopefully bush wont invade anyone else soon!

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  • 2 weeks later...



I have not been on here in some time, im surprised this thread is still up and getting hits.

I want to thank you all for your help and i guess you all want a update on what is going on.


Well i got talked out commiting by a close friend at the time, because i felt that there was somethign worth living for, things have steadily been going downhill though.. making things worse my parents have started to notice my depresseion and keep talking to me about it, which is making things worse.

dam i g2g


ill talk someother tiem!

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  • 2 months later...

Firstly you are way too young to kill yourself. I dont know your story but i know someone who was weird at school and pretty unhappy but her life as completely turned around, starting i swear as of 19. She's doing good things right now and dreaming great things and i reckon she's almost everything she always wanted to be. It just shows it can be done. At your age i'd never have went there and now i doubt i can hang in much longer but again it just shows things can change. Plenty of others will wish just to be your age again and do things slightly deferently, you've got that chance man, of course everyone's different but i'm sure people on the forum will give you particular advice if you ask particular questions. Though i dont want to f with your head, i'd rather you didnt.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You need to stop worrying about your social life. Going out to a club isn't what life's all about. It bothers me when people think they have no life just because they're not the most popular person in the world, and don't spend all their time having fun.


Anyway. I understand you. I feel nervous around people, too. I don't like going out. I have severe depression, but I'm getting help. I still feel suicidal sometimes, but it goes away... and I'm happy again.


My uncle killed himself when he was 32, and let me tell you, you are going to ruin the lives of your loved ones completely if you choose to do this. They'll be mourning forever. It doesn't end. No matter what people say, a family will never get over something like that. Think of them. Then think about how you're only still just a kid... you could have a long life ahead of you. And once you start to grow up and mature, things could change. You'll get happy. You'll find a purpose. Just... don't give up.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Hey all,


I can't believe this thread is still going to be honest, it's been over a year now since these thoughts where going through my head and a final decision was going to be made on my 17th Birthday and yet I turned 18 last Friday.

So I'm guessing you all want to know how I'm doing huh? Well….. I feel…… great! Yep that's right, I feel amazing!

For my 18th Birthday I went on holiday abroad alone surfing in the Canary Islands (Fueturventura) and it's changed my life already, my confidence and my whole outlook, tonight I am even meeting up with an old friend from school also I have joined three!! Clubs.

Ok, granted I haven't been as depressed the last 2 months but being on holiday alone knowing no one really brought me out of myself, I really have come to see the beauty of life and to be honest…. No one really does care who/what you are, life's too short to be worrying about self consciousness; believe me! I've wasted almost my whole child hood over worrying what people think of me. I know what I am saying people have probably heard millions of times before, hell I even heard it a lot myself but until you experience something first hand you really see what people are on about. And looking back now, I really am sorry to all you people here and specially one person who I remember personally as a great friend "Hazel_Eyes" how much of a over-reacting, self pitying person I was.


I guess I can still understand my reasons and motives behind why I was so depressed at the time, the main one being just so alone at the time and the stress of work getting on top of me. I decided I needed to make a change and really sort something out, hence I booked a holiday, joined some clubs, contacted some friends from school and generally really made an effort and im happy that it's payed off.


I know the text that I have just wrote is very choppy it's because I am in work at the moment and rushing since I have quite a lot of backlog to catch up with, just wanted to give you dudes' and dudettes' an update as you have given my so much support through the past year.


Maybe I will be on later on in the week and talk then. Getting evils from my colleague at the moment accross the room as she's seen me numerous times flicking back and forth to enotalone today

Evil lady, let me go on the internet in peace! *searches for large heavy item to chuck at her*


until then…



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  • 1 year later...

Well Toggle,


In many countires

Death is seen as a sign of the devil

They believe that the only reason you die is that the devil has corrupted your spirit, and that you are too impure for god to keep your body alive.


To bring death upon yourself, is a very sad and dramatic thing, take a long and hard think, do you really want to see your blood slashing upon your floor, and as you loose sight of mind and body, and slowly close your eyes, and drop on the floor and then you will be at a stage in your life, where you will have no control in your life, your only hope is that you don't die and that someone will see you. Also, you do not die, you can be left with a Neuro problem due to lack of blood and oxygen to the brain. Please, don't die.. Live and be merry

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Taking better care of your health. Geting excercise, eating better. Forgeting about your problems and having fun. thats always the best cure for the blues.

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I've read your reasons for suicide, and I've been going through most of the same things....and I'm almost 26. Not seriously contemplating suicide though.


I don't know why we're so different in that way. I've never met that special someone, I'm lonely all the time, I don't have the social life that I see so many other people seem to have.


I have a serious knee injury and I need to do surgery and go through 9 months of grueling rehab. And my knee won't be the same.


And yet, I don't want to end my existence. I don't know what keeps me going. I guess I have some sort of sense that I need to be strong and see this life through. Be a soldier and walk through hellfire if need be.


But this life can be tiring sometimes.

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