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Not too sure how to interpret this...


artsman1
Dream about your ex
Dream about your ex

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Hey everyone,

 

So basically, long story short, I had an emotional breakup with my ex back at the end of february after 4 months of a relatively intense relationship. We worked together, I had to break up with her due to my depression and other issues I was working through at the time, I felt like I could not fully be in the relationship. So I told her at the time, that if my mental state improved in a month or two, I would let her know and I'd like to get back together. She said that she wasn't going anywhere and that she would be single for a while. Two weeks later, I find out that she's already dating another guy, who she then starts bringing around our office (at that point, we're not talking). I have to sit through about 3 weeks of him coming by and them being in the honeymoon phase of the relationship (which at the time I figured was a rebound).

 

We haven't talked much this summer (I basically went NC/very low LC because we have a lot of mutual friends so we still see each other). But at a party back in July, I got really smashed and ended up on a bathroom floor, and she was there on the floor helping me and sitting next to me. She told me that she thought I didn't want to talk to her and I said that that wasn't really the case, it just kind of hurt, and we kind of caught up, both sitting on the floor drunk. And the next morning, as she was lying down with a hangover, we chatted for real for the first time in a while. Things kind of seemed like old times (we were really good friends before we dated.)

 

Then a couple weeks after that (she's still dating the guy), she messages me out of the blue on facebook and we have a chat that's just like old times. She compliments me a couple times and we're talking and laughing. I find out later that she was kind of drunk at the time (she's the kind of girl who will say how she really feels when she's drunk and holds it in when she's sober). Anyways, I sincerely enjoyed chatting with her again, even though she's still dating this other guy.

 

So basically, I've kind of been showing her the "me" that she initially fell before, before I got hit with depression in December-February. Went NC/LC after that chat again. Then for one of the groups that we're both in at school, we had a meeting two weeks ago. As the meeting was going on, I caught her doing this thing with her eyes. Now I may be reading into this too much, but she's done it the last couple times I've been at a meeting/event with her. I'll notice out of the corner of my eye, that she'll look at me when she clearly doesn't think that I'm noticing, then kind of look away, then look back, almost nervously and look down, like she almost looks sad. A couple times if I look at her when she is doing this "double look," she'll kind of lock eyes with me the way we use to when we were dating. I'll just kind of smile normally, and she'll give me a kind of shy nervous smile back. The first time I noticed this, I wasn't sure what to think, but I've noticed it now basically every time we've been at a party/event/function together.

 

Anyways, I'm not reading too much into this at all, and I'm essentially over her, though I do think if the opportunity presented itself, I would get back together with her if she wanted to as well. But I wouldn't mind some opinions as to whether this means anything. I kind of get the sense that she misses me sometimes. But her pictures with the other guy look pretty happy....though they did with the guy she was with before me too, and she was miserable in that relationship.

 

artsman1

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Definitely got rid of the depression issues, I'm back to being the person she fell for initially...and I think she's been able to sense this too.

 

I do think we really had a good connection and excellent chemistry, it was just that the timing sucked. I went through some personal struggles and didn't feel like I could be in a relationship. I'm at the point now though where I'm happy enough with myself that it wouldn't matter if she came back or not, but I was just wondering what these signals could mean. Besides the eye thing, she has also been talking to me more and posting on my facebook wall.

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If she wasn't dating someone else, I might think she was interested. But the other guy aspect makes it kind of confusing. If you think you are over her, just continue to talk to her and see if maybe she comes clean. It sounds like you guys see each other at social events and school so you can continue to feel her out.

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Yeah, that's what I would have thought too. The thing is, my ex tends to stay in a relationship even if it has gone downhill. She was probably with her ex before me for almost 6 months to a year after the flame was gone, and they stayed together just so she wouldn't have to "have no one." She was pretty miserable. Now, she told me when we were still going out that she had had a crush on me for almost 6 months before we actually started going out; yet she didn't dump her boyfriend (who was long-distance and they basically carried on a relationship via text message.) She basically needs to have somebody. But she's a very sweet and caring girl, and I'd be fine being with her despite this (she has self-esteem issues, but I think that is something someone can work on). So for all I know, she could have lost interest a while ago (or this guy actually could have been a rebound from me, yet she's staying with him and too nervous to approach me again). I don't know. But I am going to assume that he's not a rebound and continue on with things.

 

She is also the kind of girl who will say what's on her mind only when she's drunk if she's too nervous to say it normally. For instance, when we first started dating, I had no idea that she'd liked me for so long, but at a party when she was drunk, she started locking eyes with me the entire party.

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