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Drop it like its hot, drop it like its hot.


Symbolic
Truth About Cell Phones In A Relati...
Truth About Cell Phones In A Relationship

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So, I have wasted a pretty good amount of time on girls. Time that I wish I had spent doing something else, like watching tv or playing wow, or hanging with friends. I hope you all know what I mean by wasting time I'm sure everyone has done it.

 

My question is, how long should I wait to drop a girl if she isn't being very responsive. The last girl I was with was apparently always busy, and all we did was have quickie sex every couple weeks and talk on the phone. Honestly I'd rather just go without the sex and worthless phone talking and have never met her. It was all a big waste of time. I want a relationship, but at the same time I'd like to have some one night stands. But a one night stand is different from a girl you like wont give you the time of day. Anyways, anytime she did have free time she never spent it with me, and got mad at me if when she did have free time I didn't drop w/e I was doing to immediately be with her. I stopped talking to her after 2 months. A month later she started texting me again. 2 more months of what previously happened and I ignored her once again.

 

4 months I could have done without. I should have dropped her earlier. I waited around for her too much, she would make plans with me then cancel them to go out with her friends, on multiple multiple occasions.

 

How many times would you have given her before you would have just dropped her like a bad habit? I don't want to do the same thing in the future, but i'm not sure what a good amount of time is without being ridiculous about it.

 

I have other stories but I don't want to make the post super long lol.

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It's never as simple as 'right, you messed me around twice so that's all your chances used up, goodbye'.

 

It depends a lot on the situation and the people involved some men might not have given that girl you saw much time after the first few times she showed them that they were not her priority - other guys mights have persisted a long time after you decided to call it a day.

 

If it gets to the point where you feel a girl is taking the mick with her behaviour, call her on it. If it doesn't improve and you don't feel it ever will, leave. If you think she deserves another chance, give her one! You shouldn't let yourself be messed around, but at the same time everyone will have a life that doesn't include you, so its finding someone who shares your opinion of how much time should be spent together. Unfortunately there's no formula or rule you can apply to every girl

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Kumatora you should really read the posts.

 

Anyways, don't people have rules? Like thier list of red flags and stuff. I thought people had rules and when someone breaks them they keep a eye out or whatever. All this stuff is new to me really, so I don't really have much of a clue. I guess its all situational, but I can easily get attached to a girl. You could say one girl might have more leeway than another one but for me I don't think I can think like that. I could get attached to a girl pretty easily and I don't want to be like that when someone is treating me like crap or whatever. I just want to figure out beforehand how to prevent myself from getting hurt and wasting time and all that.

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Symbolic, I did read your post. Sorry, I was confused at first and read it in a rush.

 

My question is, how long should I wait to drop a girl if she isn't being very responsive. ... I want a relationship, but at the same time I'd like to have some one night stands.

This doesn't make any sense. You can't have both unless you and the girl you are with want an open relationship. That rarely happens btw.

 

4 months I could have done without. I should have dropped her earlier. I waited around for her too much, she would make plans with me then cancel them to go out with her friends, on multiple multiple occasions.

 

How many times would you have given her before you would have just dropped her like a bad habit?

Why play games/let the other person string you? Sometimes you got to stand up for yourself or make the call that this person isn't worth the drama. It easy to drop a relationship, but the decision is always yours. No one is forcing you to stay with someone who you can't get along with.

 

Anyways, don't people have rules? Like thier list of red flags and stuff. I thought people had rules and when someone breaks them they keep a eye out or whatever. All this stuff is new to me really, so I don't really have much of a clue. I guess its all situational, but I can easily get attached to a girl. You could say one girl might have more leeway than another one but for me I don't think I can think like that. I could get attached to a girl pretty easily and I don't want to be like that when someone is treating me like crap or whatever. I just want to figure out beforehand how to prevent myself from getting hurt and wasting time and all that.

I'm confused by this too... rules? On how to treat your partner better? how to be a good boyfriend/girlfriend? How to make a perfect date? It's a little ambiguous... can you specify?

 

Red flags aren't rules- they are flaws you cannot deal with and break a relationship (For example: abusive habits toward you or another person, dishonesty, suspicious behavior, insecurities, etc.). You learn what they are in time and what type of people to avoid or associate with. Dating is a learning experience, so don't consider a "waste of time" if you think of it that way. Breakups are essential, otherwise we would all be married to the first person we dated (not in many people's best interest either). The best ways of getting over the hurt is appreciating the fun times and growth you gained from previous relationships so you can become a better person- don't dwell on "I don't want to be hurt again," otherwise you will end up being paranoid or hurt for a long time. Something to think about.

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Bah! Too much learning! Most gfs I had ditched me when they learned I was piss poor and couldn't even wash my clothes lol. I don't have much experience with women after highschool, where now I have money and my life is good lol. It takes too long to learn all this stuff! That's why I'm asking on here I guess. I sort of have made up some "red flags" but I always feel like I shouldn't be so quick to get rid of somebody. I never was cool, so its like I always felt like I had to stick with whatever girl I got you know? But now I know I'm not a loser anymore and I can get a girl. But even with those thoughts in mind it is still hard for me to let someone go, no matter how short or piddly our relationship was. I guess I want to know what is it that other normal people do.

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What's worse is how much learning this can hurt, And I mean hurt in a really bad way. I'm going to lose a month here to this girl I had for 2.5, and all because I didn't pull down the red flags and call it a draw and walk away as I watched them all fly up.

 

I knew too much. I hate being the Big Blue Man - becasue for a long time, I was Night Owl II, and she IS Silver Spectre II...But in the end, holding onto that is jsut Impossible.

 

I should be happy with waht little time I had with her, becasue I am better off.

 

I wish I had my life in place.

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