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Flirting and building attraction with a girl through text and instant messages


laesn

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I recently left home and went to college but I am extremely interested in a girl back at home who is a year younger then me but will be attending the same college I am at next year. While I am out of town I only talk to her over instant messenger and through text messeges. I will be home for over a month for winter break and will be returning home up to as much as twice a month during second semester. I need to know how to talk to her and what to say when I do IM and text her so i can let her know I am interested and build attraction.

 

And I know there will be people who tell me to give up and focus on girls in college but I have chosen to try to make this work out and wheather or not I try is not in question at this time for a variety of reasons.

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poke fun at her...but in a charming funny way so that she knows you are kidding...and if she pokes fun back at you...game on man. and just be a good guy, not a nice guy cause there is a difference lol. you have to be playfull

 

sorry I just had to ask this question. What's the difference between a good guy and a nice guy? They seem to fall under the same category to me.

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Clearly, the simplest way is - "Hey, I think you look really cute."

 

My general recommendation is to talk about yourself in the beginning - e.g. your views, your feelings, your stories, your goals, your family, your friends, your interests, your hobbies, etc. This way, she gets to know you. Later, when she becomes interested in you and starts to open up more, then you can let her do more talking.

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Just to clear up any confusion we do know eachother in "real life" this isn't an online dating thing, it's simply communicating through IM and text is the easiest for both of us and i not really comfortable with actually talking on the phone at this stage. I am extremely inexperienced with being sucessful with girls and have been friend zoned several times. Any specific examples of good messages for flirting would be great so I can kinda get an idea of the right thing to do.

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Just to clear up any confusion we do know eachother in "real life" this isn't an online dating thing, it's simply communicating through IM and text is the easiest for both of us and i not really comfortable with actually talking on the phone at this stage. I am extremely inexperienced with being sucessful with girls and have been friend zoned several times. Any specific examples of good messages for flirting would be great so I can kinda get an idea of the right thing to do.

 

Some guys on this forum are paranoid about getting "friendzoned."

 

What is flirting, anyway? Flirting is a man expressing his interest in a woman. Flirting is also a woman testing a man. That's basically it. So there are complicated ways to flirt, and there are also simple ways to flirt. The simplest way is to say, "I think you look really cute."

 

Flirting alone, however, is not sufficient to generate or sustain interest. To do that, you should do two things:

 

1. Talk about yourself in the beginning, so that she has a better idea of who you are.

2. Don't be a pushover. This means - having your own views about things, and dare to speak up about them; have a firm idea of who you are as person; have firm boundaries, etc.

 

In my experience, a lot of girls I was "friends" with became explicitly interested in me only after a few months. A woman can be highly interested in you without telling you. As long as you do 1. and 2. right, then everything else follows.

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