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Moving in with my BF's family


SusyQ

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I just don't know. I have 2 more years of college left and I am counting down the days till I get to move out. I love my family, but they stress me out.

 

My mom never approves of anything my boyfriend does, no matter how nice, she always thinks he should have gone a step farther. My younger brother is constantly shouting and talking down to me and my parents.. They just excuse it because he has a learning disability of sorts. My dad is a nice guy, but he blows up all the time, the smallest thing will set him off and he will call everyone names, and start cursing himself. All the while if I say anything about how this bothers me, I am either insulted or ignored.

 

My boyfriend has said that they were thinking of installing a AC unit in the garage, and maybe I could stay there, set up like a lil studio apt I suppose, so long as I pay a lil rent (just enough to cover my expenses) The idea sounds too good to be true, but that is just it. It is too good.

 

If I move in with him and his family my mother will hate me, and it will probably be a while before she talks to me. My bf says I should tell them why I feel the need to move out, but I know admitting that I don't love living with them would just cause a bigger rift between us. My mom gets very offended... well downright pissed off when I try to tell her that I'm not always comfortable hanging around because of all the hostility.

 

Awkwardness aside, I'm also worried about health insurance. It is possible I could get health insurance through my college (they offer a cheap plan) but I've never had to make such a hugely important decision, and I'm scared of what happens if they have worse coverage then what I get from my mom's work.

 

 

I love my boyfriend (of 4yrs) and his mom/stepdad They are a lot of fun to be around, and I have gone on several vacations with them, and I have seen them at their worst so I'm not worried about them.

 

I dunno, I just don't know what to do. I know what I want to do, but I really don't want my mom to have another reason to dislike my boyfriend. He is such a great guy, but she is so judgmental.

 

 

Also: I should mention that he lives only 2 blocks away so I can't really pretend there is a distance issue or anything like that

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hmm maybe you should stick it through with your mom and live at home still.. just try to cope with it. even though you love your boyfriend things could possibly get worse living with each other. u wont have your space u need. or what not. i mean its not a bad decision. sticking with your boyfriend despite what your mom thinks is good my girl does the same with me. her g rents dont like me at all. for the same reasons. things take time. just cant talk got to show action

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even though you love your boyfriend things could possibly get worse living with each other. u wont have your space u need.

That is the one thing I'm not worried about. He has lived with me and my family for months before when his AC was out. (his parents stayed at his grandparents house) And we would probably spend the same amount of time together that we do now, (maybe add in more meals together.) I commute to school and he is taking hard upper class math so we are both fairly busy individuals.

 

It feels like a bad idea, but at the same time, I just can't think of a single good reason why. If it weren't for him, I would have moved into a dorm room accross the state just to get away from my family. I dunno I know I could stick it out, but everytime my dad curses at me, my brother starts yelling or my mom gets controlling I just want to disapear. And it isn't good for our relationship, anytime my boyfriend says anything that reminds me too much of my dad I just... kinda snap. My bf will just be joking and I know it, but it reminds me too much of how serious my dad is when he says it.

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ohhh.. ok well if your not worried about that then.. its probably is a good idea... and its your future if its going to help you focus on school and less on havoc then do so.. your mom will get over it eventually .... right?

Well... I suppose she would. After all, I am her tamest child. My older brother ran away from home, smoked pot, drinks a lot, dropped out of highschool (got a GED later) and she talks to him all the time now. She makes fun of him now and again, but their is no hostility...

 

And this would probably be the worst thing I've actually done to her. I never snuck out, didn't have my first drink till I turned 21, I help pay for the animal vet bills, cover them when they are short on monies, and I never ask them for money unless it is a school related expense, and even then I pay them back pretty soon...

 

I guess I'm just trying to reassure myself because it soo scary. I make 3-$4oo a month selling balloon animals at events and such so I can easily pay for all my expenses and have some left for myself. and I know his mom would like having an extra hand around (she is physically disabled) and I am more than willing to help out.

 

I just think that the moment I do it, there will be some sort of obstacle I didn't see coming. and nothing would be worse than to have to come crawling back home.

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