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I Think I Hate My Wife


Jabbe

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We're already going through the process of divorce and it will be final very soon.

 

I went through so much just to be with her and she was always so selfish. I did my best to make sure she was ok and did things for her no man ever could or would. She was even physically abusive, needy, jealous, immature, and possessive.

 

I think I actually hate her. I glanced at a picture of her on myspace, by coincedence, and all these feelings of anger, nausea, and digust filled my body. I'm gritting my teeth right now and feel like I need to yell at the top of my lungs or go break something to relieve this.

 

I can't believe how hard I work to be with someone like her for the rest of my life. If I saw her, I would just be cold, cruel, and heartless towards her. I really feel like she is a terrible human being that a man should be with if he's being punished for something.

 

I see her in a completely different light now. We tried the, "let's keep in touch and possibly be friends" thing, but it fell apart within 2 days. She is just so immature, selfish, and full of herself. Nothing is ever her fault according to her.

 

I told her that I hate her that she needs to stay away from me (the last thing I said to her).

 

She also started sending me rude text messages calling me names and things like that. THEN, she turns around and says that she wants to meet up with me before I move away. Is she insane???

 

Other messages from her were:

 

I don't want you having sex with anyone.

Do you love someone else?

I know you dont hate me.

 

That last one gets me. If SHE doesn't love ME, then why would it matter??? Don't curse me out acting all vengeful and calling me names and then turn around and act like you care about how I feel! That's nuts! I'm just so sick of her BS!

 

I just want to start my new life in peace, but do you think I should let her know that I'll never forgive her and exactly how I feel towards her? Or should I just leave things as they are? I don't want to hold this inside forever, and think that she needs to know exactly what I feel just to get it off my chest. I'm gonna explode!

 

With the way I feel, I know that I'll resent her for the rest of my life and hope she lives the rest of her life in misery.

 

I'm not a hateful or vengeful person at all. These feelings are completely out of my character. I'm a genuine, friendly, honest, and sincere person who just needed to vent.

 

I never thought in my life that I could EVER hate anyone!

 

Feeling a little better putting this out there for you guys to say anything you want about it. I needed to let this out.

 

Thank you for reading.

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You're right. I've never felt like this before and was so angry that I couldn't think straight.

 

I've had quite a few interests in these passed few months and it's just been great meeting other people. In most of my day today, I was in euphoria happy to be away from her and socializing with everyone that came my way.

 

I feel so free now, honestly.

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I think you should take care of yourself right now. Her mixed messages are probably from having mixed feelings about the divorce and your relationship--just as you have had mixed feelings. I think that's normal. With all you put into trying to make it work, I can understand why you would feel resentment and anger towards her. My ex husband and I went through the same thing--saying we'd be friends afterwards. Now, six years later, we are cordial to one another, but it isn't comfortable. If it weren't for the kids, we would not be in contact now. Maybe in the future. We both had to take some space to just get ourselves together. If you have no ties, like kids, then it is probably for the best to do what you need to deal with your own emotions so you can move on in a healthy way. Good luck!

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Hey man... don't feel too bad for having these feelings. It's natural. I feel that way sometimes too and I'm sure most people do. Anyway when we talk about being so loving and non hateful or vengeful we really are just not being honest with ourselves and just following what we got taught at a young age or what all the self help books preach.

 

That being said i don't think breaking things or getting violent will help. Just allow yourself to feel those feelings as scary and negative as they are and know that its alright. Your feelings will change at some point in the future

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I think you should take care of yourself right now. Her mixed messages are probably from having mixed feelings about the divorce and your relationship--just as you have had mixed feelings. I think that's normal. With all you put into trying to make it work, I can understand why you would feel resentment and anger towards her. My ex husband and I went through the same thing--saying we'd be friends afterwards. Now, six years later, we are cordial to one another, but it isn't comfortable. If it weren't for the kids, we would not be in contact now. Maybe in the future. We both had to take some space to just get ourselves together. If you have no ties, like kids, then it is probably for the best to do what you need to deal with your own emotions so you can move on in a healthy way. Good luck!

 

Thanks for your advice. I never want to see or speak to her ever again. I can do without the drama. It's like I just want to forget that she even exists. We don't have children together, so it's easier to get away and stay away.

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Hey man... don't feel too bad for having these feelings. It's natural. I feel that way sometimes too and I'm sure most people do. Anyway when we talk about being so loving and non hateful or vengeful we really are just not being honest with ourselves and just following what we got taught at a young age or what all the self help books preach.

 

That being said i don't think breaking things or getting violent will help. Just allow yourself to feel those feelings as scary and negative as they are and know that its alright. Your feelings will change at some point in the future

 

You're right. They ARE my feelings and I'll just feel them through. It's just new for me and I don't really know how to deal with it.

 

Thanks!

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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