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I Have Feelings For Someone Else Wh...
I Have Feelings For Someone Else While In a Relationship

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That when you're with someone else you'll get less affected with what your ex is doing?

 

My friend told me this because I told her when I saw my ex's picture on FB (with his gf), I felt a bit of pain that went away after a few minutes. She said I still get affected because of the memories I shared with him, not because I was still in love with him. If I was with someone else she said I wouldn't have cared, or something like that.

 

What do you guys think?

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I think even when you're with a new person, you'll still think about your ex from time to time. But I think your friend is probably right in some ways. It's bound to upset you, but often the part that's upsetting is what we thought/hoped we had with them when things were good, rather than the reality of the crumbs we were left with when and if it turned bad.

 

That's how it was for me. If you feel you're ready to embark on another relationship (and that's the point I'm stuck on, 3 months after the breakup), if that were me, I'd gobr dating a whirl. If you're with someone new because you want to be, you feel ready and everything, go for it - why not? We all assume initially 'better the devil you know', but actually they're not all devils out there. The waiting game they do on the Getting Back Together forum requires extreme patience and strength just to wait and see whether they want to give it a go. I've packed that one in - I realise now I'm just not going to be able to take it. It holds you back, and I sat and thought about it -for what? On the offchance he might deign to come back? Not good enough anymore, I've decided. There's a lot to be said for going out there and having some fun.

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This is a good question.

 

I am somewhat curious about my ex-bf sometimes, not because I want to be with him or need to move on, but because at one point, he was BIG part of my life if not ALL of it sadly. I am still curious what he is up to and how things in his life are going, but by NO means WHATSOEVER would I want to get back with him...whether or not my current fiancee ever broke up.

 

For me, it was the fact that my ex gloated about how I was his world and yadda yadda yadda. And then I see him move on quickly. I guess I felt more..odd than bad or sad. Like betrayed. Then I remembered my fiancee and things went back to normal.

 

SOOOOOO: to summarize: yes...you get over it when you are with someone new.

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It's different for everyone. Some people are more jealous than others. I know a woman who is possessive and jealous of all of her exes, even when she has a new boyfriend. She acts like she has stuck a flag on those guys marking them as her territory, and becomes hostile if someone flirts with one of her exes.

 

Most people are more reasonable and sane than that, thank goodness. Some people don't need to find someone else before they stop feeling jealous and possessive of their ex.

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