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My rant (but with your advice!)


G3LesPaul

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I just think I should get something off my chest that has been bothering and maybe everyone here should help me!

 

Why can't girls just give the different guy a chance? Why can't girls give the shy guy a chance? Why can't girls give nice guys a chance?

 

I just can't take it anymore. A lot of girls (not saying all of them) just won't give any guy a chance anymore because they are "afraid" of being hurt again. They are "afraid" of being used. They feel since one jerk hurt them, the rest will do the same.

 

Then they go out with the obvious ***** bag and they wonder why they feel this way

 

I am 19 and getting ready to go back to college and my mom got set up on a blind date a while ago. Her immediate thought was that the date is going to suck and she isn't going to end up liking him cause he is different from the rest.

 

BEFORE she even met the guy, she had horrible thoughts. I told her, just do it, whats it going to hurt. JUST GIVE US A CHANCE

 

Guess what, she ended up having a good time and is going out on another date.

 

I just don't get why girls are so defensive and make up their mind BEFORE THEY EVEN MEET THE GUY. A guy approaches a girl and she think he is just like the typical ass hole.

 

Please help me out here. Why do they do this? Is it just me having an excuse why I am alone. Just give me any advice on stuff like this!

 

Thanks!

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As a woman who's VERY cautious about the men I date because of being burned in the past, this is what I think it is: first, as kaz1 said, it's the confidence factor. But more than that (for me personally, at least), it's the fact that "nice" guys seem suspicious. It's like a too-good-to-be-true scenario. I always watch nicer guys more closely because I want to observe whether or not it could be an act. I almost dated a guy once who was SO nice it was unbelieveable...and instead just remained his friend, only to find out later on he'd cheated on just about every girlfriend he'd ever had, and all he really wanted was to sleep around.

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As a woman who's VERY cautious about the men I date because of being burned in the past, this is what I think it is: first, as kaz1 said, it's the confidence factor. But more than that (for me personally, at least), it's the fact that "nice" guys seem suspicious. It's like a too-good-to-be-true scenario. I always watch nicer guys more closely because I want to observe whether or not it could be an act. I almost dated a guy once who was SO nice it was unbelieveable...and instead just remained his friend, only to find out later on he'd cheated on just about every girlfriend he'd ever had, and all he really wanted was to sleep around.

 

I can understand that 100%

 

But it seems like guys (especially me) have the 6th sense of spotting a ***** bag.

 

One of my "girl" friends said to me once

 

"Why is is sooooo hard to find a nice guy"

 

I told her its so obvious that the people you date are idiots. I can spot an ass in 2 seconds. I just don't understand why some girls can't either?

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All of the above (which I've seen first hand myself plenty of times) adds up to one thing: the human brain is one messed up organ. Sad but true

 

There won't ever be a complete, solid explanation for the "why"--but it's still worth discussing!

 

If you're only 19, I say keep playing the odds. Even if MOST women fall prey to that mistake (and maybe that's true?) it's still not ALL women. You truly might meet one who responds to "nice" instead of to "confident." It just may take time. Keep searching

 

I told her its so obvious that the people you date are idiots. I can spot an ass in 2 seconds. I just don't understand why some girls can't either?

 

Wrong question? They CAN spot them--that's how they keep dredging them up. The question, then, may be why, on some level (probably unaware) do they WANT them? The answer is probably a rancid mix of evolution and culture.

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All of the above (which I've seen first hand myself plenty of times) adds up to one thing: the human brain is one messed up organ. Sad but true

 

There won't ever be a complete, solid explanation for the "why"--but it's still worth discussing!

 

If you're only 19, I say keep playing the odds. Even if MOST women fall prey to that mistake (and maybe that's true?) it's still not ALL women. You truly might meet one who responds to "nice" instead of to "confident." It just may take time. Keep searching

 

 

 

Wrong question? They CAN spot them--that's how they keep dredging them up. The question, then, may be why, on some level (probably unaware) do they WANT them? The answer is probably a rancid mix of evolution and culture.

 

Great response! Thanks. I guess I am going on this rant because I am so young and most girls haven't matured yet?

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I told her its so obvious that the people you date are idiots. I can spot an ass in 2 seconds. I just don't understand why some girls can't either?

 

It should be pretty easy for us, but I think it has to do with the fact that sometimes we fall for a guy and we think "oh well I am going to be the one to change him", when in reality we should just accept the fact that guys are plain and simply ****** bags!

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It doesn't really matter if the guy is nice or not, all that matters is that initial almost animal attraction and enough of a personality to be able to out-converse a potted plant. Just keep looking until you have that attraction with someone, then if that zings 'er enough the rest will likely fall into place.

 

G3, you've got college to go to, a whole world of possibilities is available. Keep your eyes open, and be available for it to happen, and it should happen.

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I like what I like ad I'm not into what I'm not into. It's not, "Oh that guy is so nice and so different. I'm not giving him a chance." I have to be physically attracted to a guy to be interested in him, but I also have to like his personality. I NEED both to stay interested in a guy.

 

I like confidence. I'm not really into shy guys. I like a strong, confident man.

 

And sorry, but it's pretty contradicting what you said here: "I just don't get why girls are so defensive and make up their mind BEFORE THEY EVEN MEET THE GUY. A guy approaches a girl and she think he is just like the typical ass hole." and then: "I told her its so obvious that the people you date are idiots. I can spot an ass in 2 seconds. I just don't understand why some girls can't either?"

 

Anyway kid, you're 19. Enjoy life. You got plenty of time to worry about girls later.

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What I can't help but notice is that you use your mother as the example when you ask why girls can't give guys a chance before they meet them. Really, the example doesn't lead naturally to your question.

 

Your mom isn't a girl - she's an individual woman who has a lifetime of experience with men that obviously played into her fears. Also, before meeting him, neither you nor her knew if he was a nice guy. That was discovered afterwards.

 

Try not to let your personal frustration with dating color the way you view every situation. If you want to wonder why your mother doesn't give someone a chance, you should just ask her directly.

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What I can't help but notice is that you use your mother as the example when you ask why girls can't give guys a chance before they meet them. Really, the example doesn't lead naturally to your question.

 

Your mom isn't a girl - she's an individual woman who has a lifetime of experience with men that obviously played into her fears. Also, before meeting him, neither you nor her knew if he was a nice guy. That was discovered afterwards.

 

Try not to let your personal frustration with dating color the way you view every situation. If you want to wonder why your mother doesn't give someone a chance, you should just ask her directly.

 

No I am not saying just her. I have seen it with many women as well, including my father's current GF.

 

By saying giving him a chance, I was trying to put my experience and my views into her so she can think differently.

 

She has played into these fears cause one ASS mad her upset, which is what I was talking about in this thread.

 

Not every guy is a piece of crap, which is what some girls come to fear because of the past

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How to leave an abusive relationship and why it's so hard

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